I hate my Job!!!- need advice

amother

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 7:52 pm

I hate my job- I feel like I am not using my brain and not being given the opportunity to do the work I really want to do!!! I am very talented at what I do, however there is not realy opportunity for me to use my specific skill set and so I am basically doing secreterial work ( I have a masters in my field). I try to initiate and to find ways to bring in my skills to the program but it is easier said than done......However on the other hand, the management is very flexiable and I have alot of leeway with my time and hours that I work. I am basically my own boss and my real boss does not care if I come in late and make up my work on my own time. THis is great for me because I have young kids... and so I really appreciate the freedom. I am scared to leave the job.. because I might not find a job with the same laidback structure and honestly, I want to be there for my kids. On the other hand I feel like my brain is turning to mush and I DREAD going to work everyday. I really need advice!! TIA

DrMom

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 7:55 pm

Look around, quietly. See what other opportunities are out there.

Can you ask for more responsibilities at work? Cn you offer to take on a new project or expand your role in some way?

amother

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 8:06 pm

Thanks for responding! I have been trying to make changes and take initiative. I feel like my boss does not care at all if I Do or do not try to enhance the program as long as I dont make any work for her. She is very busy with other things and has is very concerned about certain parts of the company and very not concerned about the aspects that interest me. How do I make changes when I feel like she is so not interested in developing these things. BTW, I do not think she has anything personal against me, but because my area of interest and skills, she just could not be bothered and any time I try to bring this up with her, she either changes the subject or tells me that she can not talk right now. ARGH

amother

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 8:07 pm

I left a job that gave me leeway like what you describe. It was great for me & my kids. I was offered a better opportunity for more money & I took it. I wasnt as happy at the second place and am now in a third place that I'm happier at but not the same flexibility as the first. These 3 jobs were over the span of 2 years. I keep thinking if I would want to go back to the first place. There was aggravation involved which ultimately was the deciding factor in my leaving but the pros outweighed the cons & I do regret leaving. Having flexibility with little kids is a major thing. I wont tell you what you should or shouldnt do because I dont know you, your field, or your job. All I can say is that from my experience if you're going to leave make sure the cons outweigh the pros. You dont want to have regrets later on. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 8:53 pm

Your boss is a work-avoider? When that finally plays out, will you be the one to replace her?

Meantime, keep your hand in. Keep up with your field, what's news in it, what's published, the trends, the automations, the latest software, and the people in it you know. Don't let them forget you, keep in touch.

Try not to dread making the doughnuts. That's all it is. The kids are your real Work with a capital W.

lili123

Wed, Feb 06 2013, 9:54 pm

You noted that your boss is very busy. If you frame the conversation in terms of helping her and taking some of her load, she may appreciate it. Something along the lines of "your time is so valuable and yet there is so much you need to do. is there anything I can take of your hands?" But you have to be careful that you don't end up getting more work that you don't like.

Another idea is to stick to what you are doing at work and getting mental and emotional stimulation from something outside of work. Can you put your skills to good use for a chesed/community/kiruv project? this way you'll have the flexibility and pay of your work, but your other needs will be met at a different venue where your skills will be really appreciated and your job will stop becoming the focal point of adult interaction.

I hope this helps.

GramaNewYork

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 7:43 am

Dear OP, I am in a very similar situation as you. It feels like I'm wasting my life because I sit here each day unsatisfied, rarely, if ever, able to use even some of my potential. Obviously, like you, I'm not wasting my life since I have a family for whom I care deeply, but after many years, for some reason, that does not alleviate the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Today, once again, I almost cried. Thankfully, I was able to distract myself.

I hope we can support each other since we have jobs that we are reluctant to leave because we know they are considered "good jobs" even though they don't "feel good" to us...I spoke to a recruiter who I've known for a long time and whose judgment I trust and I feel like I have to somehow come to terms with the fact that I will be staying at this job and the void inside of me will keep growing unless I can somehow change myself and my attitude.

Please feel free to PM me if you think we can start some sort of a support group for those of us who think we "need to stay" while at the same time knowing "we need to leave" : (

Hatzlacha and a big hug to you.

mehadrin1711

Sun, Oct 20 2013, 7:16 pm

I have been in this situation before. There is nothing worse than finding yourself watching the clock, counting the minutes until you can leave a job that you feel desperately over-qualified for.

On the other hand, any job is a good job in the current economy. I agree with the other posters - take your time, quietly look for work in your field.

Hatzlacha! Know that others have been through this frustrating experience as well.

sara123456

Sun, Oct 20 2013, 7:40 pm

I think thay you must enjoy your work and USE your degree.

A new job might be more rigid at first, but once your talents are recognized you'll very likely be indespensable and might be able to compromise your hours...

IMHO, I think your have more to gain than, lose... Dont you want to do what you're good at? It might even give you a higher salary!

Good luck on your decision. I know its a hard one, but with courage and faith you can do it!