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I think I spent to much money :-(
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smile22




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 12:06 pm
I don't know how to shop. I think I totally overdid it with the shopping. I feel so helpless I don’t know how to shop cheap, I don’t know how much to buy, I always buy more then I need.

Uch I feel so down, I dont even feel good after I spend money. This is so annoying!!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 12:34 pm
Did you buy food, clothes, or toilet paper?
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smile22




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 12:46 pm
I am trying to learn how to budget myself. My mother never showed me price tags and I never knew prices on things. I never thought twice when I shopped with my mother, if I wanted it I bought it.

Now I am living a kollel life and I am trying to learn how to shop like a kollel wife. But if I knew how, I would try to. But I simply don’t know how.

I have no idea when food is expensive or cheep, I dont know the price of milk or another type of foods...
but that never bothered me as much as now when I am shopping for clothes for me and my baby.

I have no idea how much to spend on pants for my baby. How many pairs of socks do I buy? how many shabbos outfits.

How do I know when shoes are expensive? How many pairs do I buy? I have no idea about prices and I am going completly crazy!
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curlgirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 2:00 pm
These are things that are learned with time and experience. You will get a feel eventually for how much things cost, how much you need etc.

It takes time, noone is born with this knowledge.

And everyone has different opinions and priorities, you need to see what works for you.
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anuta




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 2:14 pm
It may be inexperience, you you may have some difficulties with organization etc.

My advice for you - make lists. After a while you won't need them anymore.

For food, make a list of what your family will eat next week, down to snacks. Then figure out how much of what will be consumed at each meal, add it up - and there is your shopping list.

For clothes, figure out how often you change your baby and how often you do laundry. For example, you change him once a day and do laundry once a week. You need 7 outfits for each season, and two extra just in case he soils himself more than usual or you are late with your laundry. How often do you change your child's pajamas? Say every two days, then you need 4 pairs. For shoes, for my kids I have one pair of sneakers, one pair of Shabbat shoes, one pair of sandals in the summer, one pair of flip flops, one pair of slippers, in the winter - one pair of winter boots, and one pair of rain boots. This is the minimum, for a girl I usually have one pair of casual shoes like mary janes, for a boy I have one pair of fabric loafers.
For Shabbat outfits, you need a minimum of three in case of a three day yomtov/Shabbat combo.
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Amital




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 2:29 pm
Keeping a list of what you've eaten, or what you've bought and what you have left. If you start trying to track it, it will help you know what you actually use and what is wasted.

Keeping a price book for the more expensive things (meat, cheese, wine) will help. Some people do it for everything, but start small. Write down the per pound or per package price, then you can see how it goes each week and learn about prices. You can add more as you figure out what you'e been working on.
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sunflower1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 3:07 pm
"I really don't buy a lot spend a lot of money, and when I do need to spend I have think ten times if I really need it - and THAT makes me feel horrible. Why can't I just buy what I need and not think so much?!?! I have the money - not loaded - but enough to spend for what I need.

Guess it's just my nature - Each to there own.
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MimiMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 3:16 pm
Any specific questions about what's considered a good price?
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 3:46 pm
smile22 wrote:
I am trying to learn how to budget myself. My mother never showed me price tags and I never knew prices on things. I never thought twice when I shopped with my mother, if I wanted it I bought it.

Now I am living a kollel life and I am trying to learn how to shop like a kollel wife. But if I knew how, I would try to. But I simply don’t know how.

I have no idea when food is expensive or cheep, I dont know the price of milk or another type of foods...
but that never bothered me as much as now when I am shopping for clothes for me and my baby.

I have no idea how much to spend on pants for my baby. How many pairs of socks do I buy? how many shabbos outfits.

How do I know when shoes are expensive? How many pairs do I buy? I have no idea about prices and I am going completly crazy!


I can't help you with the buyer's remorse (that guilty feeling you have after going shopping,) but I can answer some of your other questions based on my preferences and what I do.

a baby or toddler needs only one pair of shoes, both for shabbos and weekday. I buy toddler shoes at striderite (get them fitted each time) and spend about 35 dollars a pair. toddlers usually need new shoes two to three times a year. (once my kids are about 5 I start buying a separate pair for shabbos.)

if you do laundry twice a week, your baby/toddler will need 5 pairs of socks. not a bad idea to buy 8 pairs, since they often disappear and they aren't that expensive. I buy socks either at oldnavy or the children's place, usually about a dollar or 1.50 a pair.

a toddler needs only one shabbos outfit. you can buy more if you can afford it, but really he wears it once a week, and in a few months he will be onto the next size, so buying more than one is really a luxury. weekday clothing he should have at least 4 outfits, more if you do laundry less than twice a week. basically enough weekday clothing to get you through the week from laundry to laundry.

I buy most basic clothing at oldnavy.com and the children's place, usually on sale but even when they don't have sales they have good prices and I never feel guilty about how much I spend there.

I agree with the posters telling you to make lists before you go shopping. you spend a lot less money and there is a lot less waste when you know exactly what you need to buy.
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auntie_em




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 4:46 pm
There is already some great advice here, but one thing that hasn't been mentioned is how important it is to create a budget based on your income every month. Then use that to figure out how much you can afford to spend each month. Especially with a kollel lifestyle, this is very important. You do not want to be dipping into savings each month (if you have any) to meet monthly expenses.
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zb99m




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 4:53 pm
A previous poster mentioned that a toddler needs shoes two or three times a year.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends fitting your toddler for shoes every two-three months. If they haven't grown a size then, fit them again in a month or so. They grow very quickly and need properly-fitting shoes for healthy foot growth and gait development!
Children also develop their own gait and shoes fit to their foot; therefore "hand-me-down" shoes should not be worn- though I've found that if they were worn only a couple of times (ex. boots purchased as a child outgrew old ones, then the weather changed a couple of weeks later; or Shabbos shoes worn once a week for a few hours for two months) they can probably be passed down to a second child.

At this range, a toddler will need an average of 4-5 pairs of shoes in one year. An older child (preschool/grade school) might need 2-3 pairs per year, as their growth is much slower than a toddler's.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 4:54 pm
smile22 wrote:
I am trying to learn how to budget myself. My mother never showed me price tags and I never knew prices on things. I never thought twice when I shopped with my mother, if I wanted it I bought it.

Now I am living a kollel life and I am trying to learn how to shop like a kollel wife. But if I knew how, I would try to. But I simply don’t know how.

I have no idea when food is expensive or cheep, I dont know the price of milk or another type of foods...
but that never bothered me as much as now when I am shopping for clothes for me and my baby.

I have no idea how much to spend on pants for my baby. How many pairs of socks do I buy? how many shabbos outfits.

How do I know when shoes are expensive? How many pairs do I buy? I have no idea about prices and I am going completly crazy!


Do you have an actual budget of what you can spend or are you just trying to live respectfully and all your needs will be met?

Being your mom got you what you wanted without regard to the price it appears your background is affluent. I commend you for wanting to live the lifestyle you are choosing.

Do you have friends in the community who can tell you which stores have good prices? Some people find they need only three outfits for the baby. One being washed, one on the baby and one on reserve for accidents.
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 5:57 pm
auntie_em wrote:
There is already some great advice here, but one thing that hasn't been mentioned is how important it is to create a budget based on your income every month. Then use that to figure out how much you can afford to spend each month. Especially with a kollel lifestyle, this is very important. You do not want to be dipping into savings each month (if you have any) to meet monthly expenses.


great point! this is probably the most important post here. only go shopping after you figured out how much you can/are willing to spend. you can always buy one less shirt and one less onesie, but you cannot get that money back once you spent it.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 7:07 pm
op, I often find it cheaper to buy multiple piece outfits.

http://www.carters.com/carters.....tart=

the above is 3 pieces for $11.

http://www.carters.com/carters.....tart=

the above is one piece for $6. so you can buy two onesies for one dollar more than a onesie, a shirt, and shorts.

when the long sleeves/pants sets are on sale, I buy a bunch of those. if you buy from the same company, the color schemes are pretty much the same, so you can mix and match. only buy things on sale, and google "carter's coupon codes" (replace carter's with whichever site you're using) for further savings. for some money back, sign up for a site like ebates, which will often give you 2-3% back if you shop through them. sometimes you get more. after you spend a certain amount through them, they send you a check in the mail.

shopping online has its uses. before you shop on any site, make sure you know how much shipping costs. if they have $5-6 flat rate shipping and you're buying on significant sale, it's often worth it.

if you want to find out what reasonable prices are, go to a few websites for companies you are familiar with (children's place, old navy, carter's, crazy 8, whatever) and compare prices for basic items like leggings, shirts, onesies (long and short sleeves), dresses, skirts, etc. write down the prices. if you look at regular pricing only, be aware that these things are often on sale. look for lower than the lowest regular price.

when shopping online, always go to the clearance section first. if possible, sort the items by price:lowest to highest. you can scan the items and set a price to be the highest you will pay for any item. when my first two kids were in baby sizes, I refused to spend over $5 on any given item. prices have gone up since then. base your highest price on what you see available.

have a list of what you need in front of you before you start shopping online. do NOT buy anything that is not on your list. it's easy to go overboard when buying clothing.

as for grocery prices, those depend on your area and what you are buying. produce prices are confusing to many people. browse a few stores to get an idea of reasonable prices. take a notebook along. be aware that produce prices go up when the fruits/veg are out of season. fruits out of season don't taste that great, so it's really not worth it to buy out of season. do a little googling if you want to find out what's in season when. or you can judge by the prices.

good luck.
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cs1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 7:18 pm
Good luck!
Let me tell you how I do it.
Firat dh and I made a budget. I typed up a list of our expenses for example:
Groceries, health insurance, car insurance, gifts, tickets etc. We then decided how much would be needed for each thing. I then mad eenvelopes where I put the money into.
Every 2 weeks, dh and I sit down to do our bills and take the money out of our envelopes.
We have saved (thousands) of dollars from this method.
I am especially proud because dh used to be the biggest spender and he has completely changed...I pushut shep nachas hearing him lecture his father the same way I did to him Smile

Now. The way I shop for my baby is as follows:
I never spend more than $6 for pants and $5 for a shirt.
Ds has really cute outfits. Carters, old navy, marshalls, target, childrens place outlet etc. Is where I go shopping. Only go to carters when they have a 50% store sale (which is very often) youcan get . 30% discounts to childrens place/outlet very often. Just sign up for their emails. I buy my socks in old navy for $1 and they have every color.

When ds was younger; I actually went to many stores and compared prices for undershirts, socks, pants etc. Now I know exacly where to go for what.

Though, I am not sure which community you are from. A few weeks ago there was a thread about a one time $150 shalom zochor outfit. Mind you, a $150 is what I spend on 2 seasons worth of clothing for the baby, so hey I am not sure what your budget really is....


Last edited by cs1 on Wed, Mar 20 2013, 7:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Aetrsnrady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 7:25 pm
I find very good deals on toddler clothes at kohls.com. They also mail out coupons for additional %off.

What's considered a "good" price for food will vary based in where you live. I recommend saving receipts from stores you shop in most often and comparing the prices. Ask other kollel ladies in your area where they shop. The best prices may not be on your immediate neighborhood.
Keeping in your budget may mean reconsidering what is truly needed. Meaning you and DH may be used to red meat as a weekday meal, for example. In my tight budget days, I only bought roasts for yom tov and the only other meat was occasional ground beef of small pieces of flanken for Chulent. I rarely bought chicken cutlets as they were more expensive than on the bone etc etc...
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 8:35 pm
smile22 wrote:
I am trying to learn how to budget myself. My mother never showed me price tags and I never knew prices on things. I never thought twice when I shopped with my mother, if I wanted it I bought it.

Now I am living a kollel life and I am trying to learn how to shop like a kollel wife. But if I knew how, I would try to. But I simply don’t know how.

I have no idea when food is expensive or cheep, I dont know the price of milk or another type of foods...
but that never bothered me as much as now when I am shopping for clothes for me and my baby.

I have no idea how much to spend on pants for my baby. How many pairs of socks do I buy? how many shabbos outfits.

How do I know when shoes are expensive? How many pairs do I buy? I have no idea about prices and I am going completly crazy!

Smile22, I have been almost exactly in your shoes: went from blissfully clueless to trying to make it on very little. PM me if you want to be friends Smile Meanwhile a bit of advice from experience:

1. Your original post sounded like a rather urgent cry for help. If you're worried about a recent (pre-yomtov?) shopping spree and you really can't afford it, go ahead and return what you can. You can work out all the rest of the details of your future life later, meanwhile just try not to overspend and make it worse.

2. Expensive and affordable are all relative. You need to figure out what you can afford and what you want to spend. If you are barely or not making it, you will need to find the corners to cut on everything. If you have any wiggle room, you need to choose your priorities. Maybe you'll want expensive shoes and cheap socks. Maybe you'll want to spend on convenience food and buy less expensive clothes.

Regarding food. You say you don't know how much things cost. This is fairly easy to find out:
Method #1: Save all your store receipts for a couple of weeks. Sit down and read them all at once. This will give you an idea of what you're already spending and consuming.
Method #2: Visit a store, open your eyes, look around. Write down prices of things you use. If you live in a place like Brooklyn where there are many shopping options, visit one store that is known for being cheap and one that you find more pleasant/convenient/high end and compare them to see if you can afford the difference of shopping where you prefer.
Clothes and shoes: This is where it will vary greatly depending on your lifestyle and budget. One person's needs are different than another's. For some people it's preference, for some it's what you can afford. If you are really tight, you look for hand-me-downs or gemachs.
Try not to stress. No idea how many socks you need? So buy some and if you find you're constantly washing them, buy some more. Learn as you go. Don't stress. Old Navy has basic socks usually 5/$5. How old is your baby? Babies don't really need much; it's their parents and others who set the bar for them, for the most part.

Join some blogs and facebook pages (if that's your speed) to get some ideas of where you can save. I recommend Kosher on a Budget, for starters, but there are many. You don't have to follow them religiously but you will get some good ideas.
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smile22




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:10 pm
wow thanks for all the advice!

so first I just wanted to clarify that we are b''h comfortable so I am not spending what I don't have. But I want to put away as much a I can, so when my expenses grow I will be able to turn to my savings.

also I don't feel good about spending, it makes me feel like I am wasting money, I feel better when I know that I saved as much as I can. That is why I am feeling so down and upset.

I really like the idea of writing things down and making calculation of what I spend. We have been pretty good this year, things just went out of whack now because I am shopping for pesach and I guess I wasn't thinking and I just swiped a lot.

About the baby clothes, I bought my baby 10 pairs of socks from childrens place for $2 each. so thank you for the advice about how many I should buy for how much.

Its amazing to see how much you guys are able to save and how you know exactly what tot buy. I really am going to try this out.

But where do you buy shabbos clothing from? I never see anything in the non jewish stores, so I go to the jewish stores and they are not so cheep.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:16 pm
I buy shabbos clothing online, same places as the usual kids' clothing. as for my clothing, I rarely get a whole outfit from one place. I'll buy a bunch of skirts from one site, some cardigans/tops from another, some dresses from others. it does take time to look around, and I do find that I have to return some items. but when I go into stores (even the jewish stores), I see nothing that interests me, especially not for the prices they have. I can go into 5 stores in 45 minutes and come out with zilch. I prefer to shop online in my "spare time." unless I know I need something that's easy to buy in stores (shells, pretty much), I find that store shopping is not worth it.
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smile22




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:17 pm
cs1 wrote:
Good luck!
Let me tell you how I do it.
Firat dh and I made a budget. I typed up a list of our expenses for example:
Groceries, health insurance, car insurance, gifts, tickets etc. We then decided how much would be needed for each thing. I then mad eenvelopes where I put the money into.
Every 2 weeks, dh and I sit down to do our bills and take the money out of our envelopes.
We have saved (thousands) of dollars from this method.
I am especially proud because dh used to be the biggest spender and he has completely changed...I pushut shep nachas hearing him lecture his father the same way I did to him Smile

Now. The way I shop for my baby is as follows:
I never spend more than $6 for pants and $5 for a shirt.
Ds has really cute outfits. Carters, old navy, marshalls, target, childrens place outlet etc. Is where I go shopping. Only go to carters when they have a 50% store sale (which is very often) youcan get . 30% discounts to childrens place/outlet very often. Just sign up for their emails. I buy my socks in old navy for $1 and they have every color.

When ds was younger; I actually went to many stores and compared prices for undershirts, socks, pants etc. Now I know exacly where to go for what.

Though, I am not sure which community you are from. A few weeks ago there was a thread about a one time $150 shalom zochor outfit. Mind you, a $150 is what I spend on 2 seasons worth of clothing for the baby, so hey I am not sure what your budget really is....



I would never ever spend $150 dollars on a shalom zochor outfit!
would you be able to show me a list of whats on your monthly budget?
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