I think I spent to much money :-(

Fabulous

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:18 pm

smile22 wrote:

wow thanks for all the advice!

so first I just wanted to clarify that we are b''h comfortable so I am not spending what I don't have. But I want to put away as much a I can, so when my expenses grow I will be able to turn to my savings.

also I don't feel good about spending, it makes me feel like I am wasting money, I feel better when I know that I saved as much as I can. That is why I am feeling so down and upset.

I really like the idea of writing things down and making calculation of what I spend. We have been pretty good this year, things just went out of whack now because I am shopping for pesach and I guess I wasn't thinking and I just swiped a lot.

About the baby clothes, I bought my baby 10 pairs of socks from childrens place for $2 each. so thank you for the advice about how many I should buy for how much.

Its amazing to see how much you guys are able to save and how you know exactly what tot buy. I really am going to try this out.

But where do you buy shabbos clothing from? I never see anything in the non jewish stores, so I go to the jewish stores and they are not so cheep.

That is why I hardly use credit cards (mostly for online purchases). I take CASH. That means that I have to know exactly how much I have (yes, I can take more, but you have to always be aware about how much you are spending).

smile22

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:28 pm

you know its really hard when you are brought up in a home where money is not an issue.

It took me a couple of years to realize that I am living on a higher standard then most kollel couples.

just to give you some examples- I was brought up on Kleenex tissues and bounty.
Now I am wondering why do I have to also have that is my house. I can save so much more if I use rags and a cheaper company tissue.

I am really impressed with how you manage to save, I hope I will be able to budget myself correctly.

I would love to hear, more ideas on how you save.

mummiedearest

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:37 pm

smile22, sometimes it pays to use a credit card. if you get cashback for certain purchases and you keep track of your spending, it's fine.

when I shop in person (for clothing, at least), I calculate in my head an approximate total as I shop. I generally know what I'm spending. for groceries, I find the total is within a certain range most weeks. the total goes up if I have to restock pantry items or if there's a holiday coming up. I often order groceries via email after viewing the store's weekly specials online. I prefer to shop for groceries in person, but that's hasn't been possible on a regular basis for a while.

seeker

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:39 pm

smile22 wrote:

I'm a kollel wife who uses Kleenex and Bounty. I just like it that much better than the other stuff that I would rather pinch somewhere else and spend on this. You can get cases of 10 large Kleenex boxes on sale for about $14, and there are frequently sales and coupons for Bounty. (I actually do get in the habit of using rags more than paper towels, but when I do use a paper towel I like it to work. Well.)

I think it is very wise of you to choose to live more frugally now so that you can save for the future. But because you aren't in any crisis now, don't waste your mental energy on stress and guilt over this. Instead of feeling guilty, just work on learning and gradually adopting new habits. The first habit you should adopt which will be the most helpful is simply to become more aware. There is no reason to not know how much you spend on (to use your example) milk. Track your spending and that way you will be better able to figure out what you can adjust.

smile22

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:50 pm

seeker wrote:

smile22 wrote:

I meant using cash, when buying things on a daily basis, instead of swiping with a card all day and not knowing how much I spend.

I am trying to be more aware and I am learning everyday.
Right now my goal is to work on how much to spend on clothing for me, dh and my baby.
because like I said before I really overdid it.

33055

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 9:57 pm

smile22 wrote:

I did get the sense that you could have $ for what you want.

The first line item in your budget should go for savings in your case. Not everything must be rock bottom. IMO you are entitled to treats but it should come after you meet your goals as incentive.

I budget that way. I decide my savings first. I put that and masser away into completely separate accounts. I then pay my bills and give myself an "allowance". When I am done spending my allowance I wait until next week for any treats. I pay off all charge cards each month. I charge for the miles keeping within my allowance.

It might be somewhat hard to go into a frugal mode when you are used to not looking.

BTW I never became good at price comparisons on food and the like but I am an amazing saver so I make up for it.

Kugglegirl

Wed, Mar 20 2013, 11:53 pm

If you want to buy fancy Shabbas clothes for young children, the fancy clothes are in the stores in the US around the time before the end of December when you see all the tinsel & fat guys in red suits & before Spring break when you see bunny rabbits & pastel eggs. If you wait until about a week after that stuff, then you may find some of the fancy stuff marked down. I find if you do not buy the little boy suits & shirts right then, you may not find any left. There are always fancy little girl clothes left.

Also- for boys white button down shirts, look for these at the beginning of the school year too, when uniform cloths go on sale.

amother

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 7:13 am

Clothes are expensive, and way more expensive if you shop at heimish stores. My babies wear Carters or target or hand me downs. I don'y buy nice clothes for babies, no shabbos outfits, maybe a nice stretchie. Toddlers "shabbos" clothes can be courderoy pants and a sweater or vest bought at target or kohls etc.

DH has 1 oe 2 suits, and 2-3 pairs of weekday pants that he wears a couple times between washings. He gets new white shirts when the old ones get stained for 20-30$. Weekday shirts, he gets a new one once or twice a year, but they mostly last a long time.

I am SAHM and I don't need to get dressed up that often. I have a bunch of clothes that don't fit. I don't buy new clothes for myself unless I really really need something. But some women may need to buy something small for yom tov to feel good about it, and that's fine, but there is no reason you need to buy a new yom tov outfit before every yuntiv.

But like others said, it's all about priorities. My clothing budget may be small, but to me being able to spend a little more on groceries is much more important. We are also comfortable at the moment, but know we need to save for the future. I also grew up in a home where money was not a concern. Definitely look at the budget each month-even if it is after the fact. We calculate everything at the end of the month, and if something seems a little too high, I aim to spend less on that category the next month.

saw50st8

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 7:46 am

OP, its ok to use your credit card, if you can manage it responsibly.

We use mint.com to track our finances - it imports all thed ata directly from our credit cards and banks. You can set up a budget so that you know when you are close or over. Its also really useful for figuring out WHERE your money is going and looking at trends.

My advice is to figure out what is important to you and what isn't. There are things I spend money on that people would scratch their head on and things they consider neccessities that I wonder what they are thinking. So budget to YOUR priorities and likings and make sure you have a surplus.

I also second the idea of automatic payments to other accounts. We pay ourselves, our kids and our maaser account before anything else.

harriet

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 8:51 am

amother wrote:

I think your mother should teach you. Better late than never.

My mother did when I was 7 or 8. These are what oranges should look like and they are 10 for $1.00. You could get a new outfit or maybe just underwear & socks for your birthday; hand-me-downs from older sister were great.

Well, great for you, but maybe that isn't an option for OP, seeing as she is posting here and not asking her mom? There are many reasons why a mother may not be able to teach a daughter something, many of them benign (ie distance from each other), some of them painful (mother no longer alive, no functional relationship between them. . . ) but seeing as we don't know which reason it is, and knowing that OP came here for advice, let's respect that!

amother

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 9:01 am

harriet wrote:

amother wrote:

point taken - but if none of those painful things have relevance - I stand by my thoughts

33055

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 9:17 am

amother wrote:

harriet wrote:

amother wrote:

point taken - but if none of those painful things have relevance - I stand by my thoughts

And what of her mother doesn't know these things because she has no need? Her daughter is choosing to live within the lifestyle of her circle. OP's mom doesn't look at prices.

I love my daughter dearly. I wouldn't know how to teach her what OP wants to learn. It would always be a game for us. There doesn't have to be a painful reason.

OP has a desire to save the money she is receiving. It will be her sense of accomplishment. She also is less likely to be the target of resentment if she is living the way others around her live.

smile22

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 10:51 am

amother wrote:

How is my mother supposed to teach me how to spend less if she doesn't spend less herself?
If my mother doesn't calculate prices and doesn't count her penny's how is she supposed to teach me how to?

I love my mother and we get along great but I don't think it is fair to my mother to blame her for not teaching me prices.
If I want to live on a lower standard then my mother, that is my choice and I will learn how from other people.

My mother has a budget on her level and I respect that.
she wont buy a sholom zachor outfit for $150 but yes she would spend $50.
she knows prices on her level and I was brought up on that level but since I am now married and in kollel I wld like to lower the standard I was brought up on.

amother

Thu, Mar 21 2013, 11:51 am

smile22 wrote:

amother wrote:

I'm sorry. You're right. Kudos to you for your willingness to learn.