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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
ShiraMiri
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 8:18 am
Have you ever given MM to someone who didn't give you in return or gave you an obviously "re-gifted" MM when receiving your obviously unexpected one? Do you just chalk it up to an innocent oversight or do you get insulted and vow not to give them again the following year?
I had a situation once where we used to exchange with a family and then they stopped giving to us. We continued to give to them for a few years, although we had less and less to do with them over the years. Finally one year I said our list is big enough, we have to cut some folks out who we really have nothing to do with anymore. So we stopped giving them. That year we got a Purim card in the mail from them! (Does that really count as MM?) Anyhow, we stopped giving them and didn't get a card the next year.
Have you ever had a MM divorce?
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shanie5
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 9:07 am
the mitzvah is to GIVE not get or even exchange. I have no idea who gives us 'back' and sometimes s/o drops off at our house while we are out and we did not send one to them-who cares?
not to give s/o cuz they stopped giving us is petty. to stop giving cuz we have no connection anymore is understandable.
also, a number of people give thru the school, does this mean I have to do it that way too?
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greenfire
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 2:00 pm
NI - just live and be happy - you get or you give - who said it has to be to the same peops - if it becomes too much of a tircha, it loses shimchaas piruummmmmm - eh - so what if ai am drumnk just cauase I cannnnnnnnnnnnnt fine the letters does nt mean notun -
so should I feel bad cuasjke nobne invitedd med for the secuda - nooooooooooooooooooooooo l- I just made a l'echaimm or 2 or 3 op4 56..............................
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chocolate moose
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 2:02 pm
You have to let go some things. SAme for simcha inviations. You can't invite everyone who invited you.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 2:45 pm
greenfire wrote: | NI - just live and be happy - you get or you give - who said it has to be to the same peops - if it becomes too much of a tircha, it loses shimchaas piruummmmmm - eh - so what if ai am drumnk just cauase I cannnnnnnnnnnnnt fine the letters does nt mean notun -
so should I feel bad cuasjke nobne invitedd med for the secuda - nooooooooooooooooooooooo l- I just made a l'echaimm or 2 or 3 op4 56.............................. |
Are you alone and drunk? I hope you are being safe and that your kids are with a sober adult.
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bashinda
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:10 pm
party pooper. hic. hic.
oops, sorry baby the mark ashiuld go away soon. hic
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Ima'la
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:13 pm
greenfire, come to me next year, k? actually, it's still purim by you - so you can still come this year! um, I think. cuz it's over here. but it's the middle of the day there. do you have a time warp?
choc - don't worry too much - I know drunk people slur their 's' so it sounds like 'sh' but I can't see how being drunk would make you type 'sh' instead of 's'!!! (p.s. you're invited too! quick, before I get off the computer and go clean up the kitchen!)
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amother
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:37 pm
U know I'd rather someone just give me a card that says Happy purim in lieu a donation has been sent to a good cause.
Then an apple, small bag of liquorice and a juice container. This is from somone who has money who we give nice ones too and don't have the money, She gave this in a zip lock bag I mean 1) eIGHTER SHE IS CHEAP when it comes to purim or 2) She doen't really want to give us
Oh and she is this way last year too, every year we give them a nice one .
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shalhevet
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:39 pm
shanie5 wrote: | the mitzvah is to GIVE not get or even exchange. I have no idea who gives us 'back' and sometimes s/o drops off at our house while we are out and we did not send one to them-who cares?
not to give s/o cuz they stopped giving us is petty. to stop giving cuz we have no connection anymore is understandable.
also, a number of people give thru the school, does this mean I have to do it that way too? |
, shanie.
Why do people need to be petty and start making cheshbonos? You can see from the threads here that some people send 2 MM and others send 50... Maybe the person you sent to had a reason (financial or time constraints etc) why they are only sending the minimum this year. Maybe they just forgot to return? Maybe they intended to but ran out of time?
Why are you sending MM altogether? To give others simcha, or to test them and see how they will react? I sent lots of MMs today. Most people returned; some didn't; and who cares?
One thing is, that maybe we should learn from this, to try as much as possible to be those who always return MM, so as not to upset anyone.
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greenfire
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:45 pm
bashinda wrote: | party pooper. hic. hic.
oops, sorry baby the mark ashiuld go away soon. hic |
thankks for diringking with mmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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greenfire
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:46 pm
Ima'la wrote: | greenfire, come to me next year, k? actually, it's still purim by you - so you can still come this year! um, I think. cuz it's over here. but it's the middle of the day there. do you have a time warp?
choc - don't worry too much - I know drunk people slur their 's' so it sounds like 'sh' but I can't see how being drunk would make you type 'sh' instead of 's'!!! (p.s. you're invited too! quick, before I get off the computer and go clean up the kitchen!) |
Ima'la - dont' lkclean lup uet I'm coming right oyver!!!
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greenfire
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:48 pm
amother wrote: | U know I'd rather someone just give me a card that says Happy purim in lieu a donation has been sent to a good cause.
Then an apple, small bag of liquorice and a juice container. This is from somone who has money who we give nice ones too and don't have the money, She gave this in a zip lock bag I mean 1) eIGHTER SHE IS CHEAP when it comes to purim or 2) She doen't really want to give us
Oh and she is this way last year too, every year we give them a nice one . |
sometimes people give a starndard mm out just to all cause its easier - this should definately NOT be a compe - unless you're drinking
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yoyosma
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:49 pm
Part of the fun for me is to see how creatively I can recycle. I always have one extra Mishloalach Manos ready made just in case and it came in handy this year! After that I recycle. They always look nice, I always use fresh cellophane paper and left over receptacles from previous years.
Yes, I keep containers and nice bags from year to year to avoid this situation! I also never write my name on things to give people the option to do the same.
DD gave Mishloach Manos this year to a girl who obviously very hastily threw one together for her, she was thrilled either way!!
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greenfire
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:50 pm
shanie5 and shelhevet - L'Chaim
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shalhevet
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 3:54 pm
And to you too greenfire.
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Ima'la
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Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:10 pm
greenfire wrote: | Ima'la wrote: | greenfire, come to me next year, k? actually, it's still purim by you - so you can still come this year! um, I think. cuz it's over here. but it's the middle of the day there. do you have a time warp?
choc - don't worry too much - I know drunk people slur their 's' so it sounds like 'sh' but I can't see how being drunk would make you type 'sh' instead of 's'!!! (p.s. you're invited too! quick, before I get off the computer and go clean up the kitchen!) |
Ima'la - dont' lkclean lup uet I'm coming right oyver!!! |
oyver? when did you get so yeshivish?
shalhevet wrote: |
, shanie.
Why do people need to be petty and start making cheshbonos? |
I'm sorry to those of you who were hurt by not receiving MM - I've also been there, so I don't mean to sound callous - but in principle, I agree with shanie and shalhevet. The mitzvah of MM was intended to INCREASE shalom bein ish l'rei'eihu - not DECREASE it by causing hurt feelings! maybe s/o who can afford a lot decided to spend it on matanos la'evyonim instead.
I once brought to a friend, then waiting awkwardly at the door for a few moments, b/c p/p usually give one back, but she didn't say she was going to get me one, then I left. Later, we bumped into each other again, and she apologized and explained that she was very overwhelmed that year and decided to keep Purim as simple as possible and just do the minimum.
To the "divorced" MM giver - sounds like your relationship was becoming less close. Why do you have to give to s/o e/ year for the rest of your life just b/c you gave them once? If you're not close w/ them anymore, leave them off your list - and if they come by, you'll give them one and reevaluate the next year.
And as far as shlocky MM - here's a story: A good friend of my mother's once came to deliver MM when my mother wasn't home. My little sister answered the door - maybe around 6-ish at the time. She didn't see any prepared MM (whether they were there or not - don't remember) so she put one together to give back. I guess she learned in school that it should be 2 brachos - she gave s/t like a cookie and an orange!
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greenfire
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Mon, Mar 05 2007, 9:45 am
So today I drove my ds to school and oh boy - I felt like I was on a roller coaster - wonder why
nobody worry I was soooooooooooooo drunk that I crashed a few parties - some hot guy brought me shaloch manos and dropped me off by one - was that a dream? - who knows - anyway on my way saying L'Chaim to some friends I got a "button" that said in yiddish "ich bin shikur - pleeze tracgts mir ahaim" - so everything worked out in the end - oh and L'Chaim for Shushan Purim
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Marion
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Mon, Mar 05 2007, 9:57 am
I don't get offended that easily. I do get embarrassed when I have nothing to give to people who surprise me though.
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