Anyone else dislike Purim? Am I the only one?

happyone

Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:13 pm

Hate to say this, but I just DON'T like Purim at all...

I don't like the noise, the mess, the chaos, the drunkards etc..
I love seeing my kids dress up and enjoy, as for me, I would rather skip town to some remote location and come back when it's all over...

I feel MM has been taken completely out of context. I read the posts about people being insulted about not getting back and I wonder…
I associate with hundreds of people through work, and get LOTS of MM. There's no way in the world it's possible to keep up. I do the mitzva; I give my neighbors and cook for parents and in-laws. But no way do I feel obligated to give back all those people that put expensive MM on my doorstep. If they choose to honor the Yom Tov in an extravagant way, does not mean I have to reciprocate in the same way. I personally would rather give the money to tzedaka than spend thousands on MM. I sure hope all those people are not hurt and don't take it personal. I guess different people have different priorities in life.

Anyone feel the same way?

raizy

Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:46 pm

I HATE purum. HATE HATE purum. I rather have 10 paseach. then one purum

I hate the rush the panic to get everything in at once. the rush to the teachers house like 4 kids and I had 14 teachers to go to!!! including the menhahs etc.

my mom said why dont u skip a few teachers I was laughing so hard. now which kid should I hurt and not take them to their teacher and princepal. I have lots of boys. my mom is so clueless some times. thank g-d that my girl I dont have to go to princepals.

I hate the megillah leinging in shul the rush to get there oin time. this year I was 10 mintes late.

and the morning one wasnt so bad my dh leined it for me before he left to shul. whay it pays to have a bal korie in the house.

also I said that to my rebbitzen that I hate purim she said that her mother told her to say u hate haman and not purum... so that is my new slogan!\

I HATE HAMAN!!!

smiley:)

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 1:45 am

There are things I like about Purim for sure, but I dont like that some ppl jus dont know where their boundaries are. Some ppl end up doing sick things and not knowing how to control themselves, whether drunk or not. Like - I dont know what they are called, but here in Israel ppl set off these loud pellet guns or whatever you call them. It is illegal but they do it anyway. It went on all hours of the night. Last night I was up at 3 am bc of it. ppl are silly stringed on busses (goes great with sheitels). etc etc. The nice ta'am is taken out of Purim by ppl who cant control themselves. I believe if ppl were a bit more mature and figured out how to be happy in acceptable ways, purim could be a lot nicer for everyone.

Marion

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 1:45 am

I don't much like it either. I don't like anything in excess, and some people have made Purim all about the excesses. Too much food, too much drink, too much silliness. I love seeing all the kids (mine or not), and I don't think we get so many MM that we can't afford to give to those who give us; but sometimes I am embarrassed by the SIZE of what we get, as we cannot afford to do the same. (Does the distinction make sense?) Or like this year we are in a new community and when we made up our list we forgot people, and I was embarrassed I had nothing to give them when they came to deliver to us.

sarahd

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 4:59 am

I guess I'm lucky never to have experienced excess on Purim - no drunkeness, no stupidities, just lovely and betamt Purims all the time. I enjoy Purim very much, b"h.

withhumor

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:02 am

I’ve never seen any family members drunk, so I can’t say I hate that part for real, but I probably would oh so hate it if dh got drunk. This year I was thinking how joyful it is when you spend some time with friends as opposed to family. Most people I know would agree that if they wouldn’t have been born into their family, they would never even get to know those people. This year we had friends over (instead of eating by family) and it was so much fun. The company was great, the kids had a blast, and the food was heavenly and the MM stack was just under control.. haman looked great hanging outside on the front porch! The less you give, the less you get and eventually it boils down to just a few. In a weird kind of way it actually feels good not to get 5,000 baskets!

chocolate moose

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:27 am

I had a friend who would send a messenger with two MS, just for the mitzvah, and would spend the rest of the day at the hospital doing Bikur Choilim.

Maybe you want to donate your day to collecting or other chessed.

DefyGravity

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:32 am

I had a relaxing purim. Sent out cards instead of MM and brought MM for the people that attended our purim seuda.

Last year, after delivering MM, we decided to send out cards the following year. It made our lives much easier. We didn't have to run around at all and deliver this year.

faigie

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:54 am

this year I only went to those who were on the block and close family.
I didnt drive around delivering at all.
guess what?
those who I didnt drive to, didnt drive to me either.. ok I have a few extra left overs this year. next year I will be sending out cards to those people, and not making them MM at all.
ill only be making for those who I gave to this year.
boy is it gonna cut down the list, so liberating.

southernbubby

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 12:48 pm

If there were a number of like-minded individuals, they could team up to make Purim easier. When my kids were school-aged, the local Tzivos Hashem group had Purim trips to the nursing home. I was one of the moms who drove. One year my husband gave the Cheder rebbes gift certificates to the local fruit market which they liked better because their wives used it for Pesach. Families could go in together for such a gift for teachers and mail it before Purim. Now it looks like some PTAs and other organizations will sell and deliver shalach manos as a fundraiser. Maybe children could exchange names with classmates instead of running around giving to each classmate. If your shul has a sisterhood, maybe they could assign families to visit the lonely or elderly instead of running around giving to each other. I think that if enough people are sick and tired of all the wasted money and junk food, several of them could team up and develop a better plan. There is strength in numbers.

miri123

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 1:11 pm

I hate dead lines not the Yom Tov but the dead lines when u have to do a million things this second run like a chicken w/o a head. Yesterday it was so bad I kept screaming at everybdy today it's not better yet my kids wanted to put jelly beans in their oatmeal and my son wanted a policeman costume right now.
Now Pesach is lurking around haven't done a thing.
Thank u for listening (reading)
besoros tovos (need to end nice)

shopaholic

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 1:15 pm

My mother hated it for years & it's a standing joke. We call to wish her a happy Purim & she says, sarcastically , "Ho ho ho!" She's starting liking it more now because we bring the kids over & eat there so its fun.

Raisin

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 4:15 pm

Quote:

I LOVE PURIM, it's my FAVORITE time of the year!!!

Me too! So much going for it - only one day, you can drive and work and cook so no last minute rush, kids love it, you don't have to make yourself meshuga if you don't want to.

I only delivered about 3 m.m. and gave out a few more to ppl at out community purim party. Only the frummer people give us m.m so I don't have huge piles of junk left over.

gryp

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 4:29 pm

I love Purim! Always have, always will! (It's my bday this year)

But I hate the junk. My house is invaded with bad-tasting cookies and bad-tasting chocolates, sugar-food coloring combinations, and oily stuff. I wish it was out of here. It's piled everywhere, surrounding me. Sad

GAMZu

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 11:32 pm

You make it hateful for yourself. Calm down. Slow down. Remember the Purim story and enjoy the day.
You only do what you feel comfortable, no need to push yourself.

And GR, just dump the bad nosh in the garbege- I did, and I didn't feel bad for a minute!
(Actually, the only bad nosh I got was from MIL.)

ChavieK

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 11:37 pm

I also hate the rush.But we don't give many. Kids give their friends & we give teachers.We do cards & there are a couple of orginazations that have mm lists,.You pay per name,the lists have hundreds of names.The $ goes to tzedaka. Each person then gets 1 mm with the list of ppl who gave it.I love it.We deliver some of them.
Also I love that the rebeim encourage the boys to spend time learning.