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WWYD- Neighbor wants my wifi code
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amother


 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 3:47 am
Neighbor asks me if she can have code for my internet so she can work from home. I don't know why this makes me very uneasy. First and foremost I am uncomfortable to be the provider of unlimited access to internet in her Kollel home. Two, I feel kind of cheated that I pay for it and she will have use of it whenever free of charge. I feel terrible saying no however because it seems so easy like what do I have to lose? I'll be saving her $ she doesn't have to get her own internet provider, and though I said it might slow down my own access, that is not so much what bothers me. I don't know how to say no nicely or if I should just suck it up and allow her to use it...WWYD?
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kalsee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 3:58 am
"Sure, that would be great! it's 30$ a month, so we'll each pay 15 $"

About your first point- I don't think you should be deciding for her about having internet or not.
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:00 am
If you want an easy way out, call your provider and ask if you are allowed to share your wifi with your neighbor Smile Then tell them the provider doesn't allow it, and as such it is stealing.

If that doesn't bother you, tell her you are willing to share your bandwith with her if she splits the bill with you.

I would let someone use my wifi for a day or two, but not long term.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:17 am
If you're paying for it absolutely not.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:22 am
kb wrote:
If you want an easy way out, call your provider and ask if you are allowed to share your wifi with your neighbor Smile Then tell them the provider doesn't allow it, and as such it is stealing.

If that doesn't bother you, tell her you are willing to share your bandwith with her if she splits the bill with you.

I would let someone use my wifi for a day or two, but not long term.


My thoughts exactly!
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:24 am
I wouldn't want to.

Just wondering - can't this compromise your privacy? I know people who won't log into their more confidential accounts at a cafe for this very reason.
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timtam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:27 am
I think it's very chutzpadik that she even asked you in the first place as it puts you in an uncomfortable position. I would say no, unless she intends to share the cost or she is only asking to use it temporarily.
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Strawberry2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:32 am
If its a one time use, I would let her use my computer.
I would never give her my code cause you have no way of knowing when she'll use it again.
If she needs it for work, why can't she order her own?
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:41 am
I don't think there is any legal problem with sharing with a neighbor. You pay for wifi for a designated amount of meters/ square footage and can decide how to use it.
If you decide you want to give tzedekah to this neighbor ,that if your choice but you are definitely 100% in the right to choose to say no . I would be afraid both of lack of privacy (once you give out the code to one person...) and it is also likely to significantly slow you down depending on the speed.
I think it's a little bit of a chutzpah for your neighbor to even ask w/o offering to split the cost unless it is a one time thing.
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jackiejoel3




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:42 am
A simple way out is to say I'm sorry but my Rabbanim don't allow me to give out the code to anyone. As youi say this is a kollel family that should end it pretty quickly and painlessly as YOU aren't saying no your Rabbi did Very Happy
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:53 am
Offer to let her some over and work on her laptop one afternoon. Connect to your network for her, without sharing the code. While she is at your home, don't go out of your way to make it a comfortable working environment.

Provide her with info on how to get her own WiFi, and suggest she ask her employer to look into paying for it.
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sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 6:11 am
I would never give anyone my access code, although I might on a one-time basis put the code in for her. If she or someone whom she allows to use her computer does something illegal over your connection, you could get into trouble.
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SS6099




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 6:24 am
I was in the same situation. Being that I'm paying for it ANYWAYS, I gave it to them on the condition that they install a filter (since we have one).
Not taking anything away from me..
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 6:45 am
notshanarishona wrote:
I don't think there is any legal problem with sharing with a neighbor. You pay for wifi for a designated amount of meters/ square footage and can decide how to use it.


I, like everyone else I know, pay for internet for my house. Since I want WIFI I installed a WIFI router. I don't know of anyone who pays for a designated amount of meters/sq ft of WIFI. We pay for internet by speed of service (which goes down it more people are using it at the same time) not by area.
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Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 7:29 am
No. There is a reason internet costs money. If she asked to borrow your phone for hours on end to make work calls would you let her?
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 7:35 am
Sorry, I don't understand the problem.
I pay for wifi in my house because I want to.
I have enough speed to allow others to use it.
My code is shared with two of my neighbors who are within distance range.
I do not care if they have a filter or not, since we do not share any files only the actual wifi.
I don't lose and they gain.

Please explain to me the problem.
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Shopmiami49




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 7:35 am
No way. The only time I ever give out my wifi code is to my MIL when she is visiting from the US so that she can connect on her laptop in our home.

All of the posters so far have said more or less the same thins. In the end, it's your call, but if it were me, I would never agree as a long term thing, unless she split the bill.
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LisaS




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 7:44 am
I personally would have no problem with sharing my wifi with neighbors. I trust them. At the same time, I couldn't see myself asking for someone else's password, certainly not for free.

By the way, is your connection name identifying you, like "Klein-family-wireless"? You may want to change that.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 7:58 am
We were in the same exact position a while ago with the same dilemmas. Kollel wife neighbor wanted to use our wifi to try out a MORNING job that she might not keep, so it wasn't worth it at the time for her to sign an internet contract. Well, that month trial period was 5 MONTHS ago... and she's still working using our wifi... They had offered to pay us at the time, but we figured it was just a month so it's not a big deal and told them don't bother. I looked at it this way, she is a very nice person, and she does things for me and I do for her and that's our neighborly relationship.

I did wonder if it is halachically correct with regard to the internet provider. I like a previous poster's idea of calling the provider and then saying no if the provider says no.

I do agree with the OP with regard to being a michshol to the family (I.e. husband.) It did bother me when they asked originally because I don't know that I trust my neighbor's husband and she's incredibly naive about things like this (previous non-related experiences I've had with her.)

What does bother me now is that it IS interfering with my husband's work. He recently started working from home at night and uses the internet and DSL line to talk to his clients. Sometimes the phone line gets choppy and it's very unprofessional. One night last week, he could barely use the phone so I told him not to worry about me (I also use my computer with wifi) and he should turn off the wifi and just connect using the wire. The connection was then fine. Three minutes later, there was a knock at our door (10:30 PM!) Is our internet down, our neighbor's husband wanted to know? (They always come knocking when our internet goes down. It happens every so often.) My husband explained that his calls were choppy so he turned off the wifi to get a clear connection. The neighbor's husband said, oh, sorry that's because I was checking my email far from where the router is located (so we know that now HE is also using it!) and could he please reconnect the wifi because his wife is working. (I thought she only works in the MORNING!) So, my husband is a really nice guy (never refuses to do anyone a favor) and reconnected it. That made me a bit resentful because WE are paying for the internet AND I bend over backwards to make sure my husband is able to work from home without being disturbed by anything or anyone and now he's allowing the neighbor to interfere with his productivity.

So, OP, you don't know what will happen down the line and then you may feel uncomfortable about stopping your free service as I now am. I'd say go the route of calling the provider for permission, that might get you out of this dilemma.
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Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 20 2013, 8:13 am
amother wrote:
We were in the same exact position a while ago with the same dilemmas. Kollel wife neighbor wanted to use our wifi to try out a MORNING job that she might not keep, so it wasn't worth it at the time for her to sign an internet contract. Well, that month trial period was 5 MONTHS ago... and she's still working using our wifi... They had offered to pay us at the time, but we figured it was just a month so it's not a big deal and told them don't bother. I looked at it this way, she is a very nice person, and she does things for me and I do for her and that's our neighborly relationship.

I did wonder if it is halachically correct with regard to the internet provider. I like a previous poster's idea of calling the provider and then saying no if the provider says no.

I do agree with the OP with regard to being a michshol to the family (I.e. husband.) It did bother me when they asked originally because I don't know that I trust my neighbor's husband and she's incredibly naive about things like this (previous non-related experiences I've had with her.)

What does bother me now is that it IS interfering with my husband's work. He recently started working from home at night and uses the internet and DSL line to talk to his clients. Sometimes the phone line gets choppy and it's very unprofessional. One night last week, he could barely use the phone so I told him not to worry about me (I also use my computer with wifi) and he should turn off the wifi and just connect using the wire. The connection was then fine. Three minutes later, there was a knock at our door (10:30 PM!) Is our internet down, our neighbor's husband wanted to know? (They always come knocking when our internet goes down. It happens every so often.) My husband explained that his calls were choppy so he turned off the wifi to get a clear connection. The neighbor's husband said, oh, sorry that's because I was checking my email far from where the router is located (so we know that now HE is also using it!) and could he please reconnect the wifi because his wife is working. (I thought she only works in the MORNING!) So, my husband is a really nice guy (never refuses to do anyone a favor) and reconnected it. That made me a bit resentful because WE are paying for the internet AND I bend over backwards to make sure my husband is able to work from home without being disturbed by anything or anyone and now he's allowing the neighbor to interfere with his productivity.

So, OP, you don't know what will happen down the line and then you may feel uncomfortable about stopping your free service as I now am. I'd say go the route of calling the provider for permission, that might get you out of this dilemma.


I say you man up and tell them that you were willing to allow them to use the Internet as long as it doesn't inconvenience you. It's come to the point that it is downright unpleasant to be sharing it so they should pay for their own Internet. Then you should go ahead and change your password.

If its really so hard to say it like that you can always add in a thousand "I'm so sorry"s and "I feel really bad"s and "I feel terrible doing this to you"s but the conversation needs to be had.
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