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I think I'm being abused ...
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:47 pm
the professional help is already in place but it doesn't stop these fits of rage
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:48 pm
Do you think her therapist is effective? If not, find another. Get a second opinion. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the wrong therapist is a HUGE and dangerous waste of time.

Do you have a diagnosis? My friend's child was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, got the right medication, and no longer has fits of rage. Sometimes it takes some tinkering with meds, but there is hope for your daughter, no matter what her problem or diagnosis.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:52 pm
I'm not a professional, but two things:

a) is she seeing a counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist or combination? if she needs meds, she needs to see a psychiatrist in addition to a social worker.

b) this may not be behavioral, it may be something like bipolar disorder, for example. bipolar people have a tendency towards violence in bursts. if she is on meds for something else and is really bipolar, the meds may be exacerbating the tendency. this kind of behavior is not normal, and I don't think there's much you can do to solve it on your own, unfortunately.

good luck with her.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:53 pm
there is no hope done everything short of having her arrested!!!!!!!!! most medications have adverse effects on her specifically as we have tried everything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:55 pm
I'm not a natural person at all but if you have tried everything, what about trying weirder stuff like homepathy? you have nothing to lose.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:55 pm
amother, I'm so sorry that this is hurting you so much. I say to find a new psychiatrist and give him/her a shot. Sometimes having a new perspective is the thing that works. Many people with chemical imbalances spend a long time changing doctors and changing meds until they hit paydirt. It's overwhelming, but they get answers eventually, and help.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:56 pm
that too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:57 pm
Sorry, I didn't get that. Are you saying you've tried that, and it didn't work? Are you feeling like you've exhausted all of the options?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:58 pm
healing through plants (cant remember the name)? acupuncture?
Do not give up! You both deserve it!! Crying
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:00 pm
yes, precisely all options have been exhausted !!! The only thing that helps a little is an anti-anxiety which I find she sometimes takes too much and acts physco too - like a drunk having a hangover if you will !!!! I'm honestly gonna lose my mind maybe that is the only step I have not taken yet !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:03 pm
amother wrote:
yes, precisely all options have been exhausted !!! The only thing that helps a little is an anti-anxiety which I find she sometimes takes too much and acts physco too - like a drunk having a hangover if you will !!!! I'm honestly gonna lose my mind maybe that is the only step I have not taken yet !!!!!!!!!!!!!


if you have a diagnosis, have you been to the top doctors in that problem?
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:03 pm
You need to meet with a psychiatrist now. You need to sit down and talk about what's going on. You need to find out about every possible option. If she's getting physically threatening (the knife incident) she may require some sort of hospitalization, stronger meds, something other than what she's getting. You can't let her be a danger to you or to herself. And you need support, also. You're obviously under so much strain.

I like Ruchel's acupuncture idea, if you can find a good place. But I think your daughter clearly also needs some kind of extreme change in her life, to stop this before she causes harm.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:14 pm
Perhaps the child should not be living at home. How are the other ppl in the houe reacting?
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:21 pm
I am not the OP. It is clear who the OP is. The OP has posted many times on this topic and has heard all the answers before. She is involved with countless agencies and psychiatrists at top hospitals on behalf of her almost adult children. She is talking about 17 and 19 year olds here. Although she means well, she puts up with **** and will continue to do so regardless of what anyone else tells her. You can post all you want about herbal treatments and acupuncture. This story with the knife or whatever it was this time has happened several times before and she has posted about it here as well. Her kids have been through numerous psychiatric hospitalizations and detox centers. Still, she lets them live with her and control her daily life.

But to answer your questions: yes this is abuse. yes you are contributing to it yourself. yes, you are seemingly enabling your abusers to treat you this way by constantly putting up with it. And no, it will not stop. It will not stop until you establish limits, hospitalize and/or kick her out. You are the typical abused woman who is so enmeshed in the cycle of violence that leaving the abuser is unthinkable. You feel like your whole identity would be lost if you were not constantly calling psychiatrists or cops.

The best thing you can do is get yourself into some serious counseling which will encourage you to establish rules, solidify boundaries and figure out who you really are and who you can become when you separate yourself from a very unhealthy situation.

The OP knows who I am.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 1:42 pm
amother wrote:
I am not the OP. It is clear who the OP is. The OP has posted many times on this topic and has heard all the answers before. She is involved with countless agencies and psychiatrists at top hospitals on behalf of her almost adult children. She is talking about 17 and 19 year olds here. Although she means well, she puts up with **** and will continue to do so regardless of what anyone else tells her. You can post all you want about herbal treatments and acupuncture. This story with the knife or whatever it was this time has happened several times before and she has posted about it here as well. Her kids have been through numerous psychiatric hospitalizations and detox centers. Still, she lets them live with her and control her daily life.

But to answer your questions: yes this is abuse. yes you are contributing to it yourself. yes, you are seemingly enabling your abusers to treat you this way by constantly putting up with it. And no, it will not stop. It will not stop until you establish limits, hospitalize and/or kick her out. You are the typical abused woman who is so enmeshed in the cycle of violence that leaving the abuser is unthinkable. You feel like your whole identity would be lost if you were not constantly calling psychiatrists or cops.

The best thing you can do is get yourself into some serious counseling which will encourage you to establish rules, solidify boundaries and figure out who you really are and who you can become when you separate yourself from a very unhealthy situation.

The OP knows who I am.


If I wanted your advice I would ask you. A person can leave their abusive husbands and fathers behind but NOT their kids. To kids you are the only hope of acceptance. So despite what you think I do not like this type of life.

I find it horrifically inappropriate for you to add to my thread more details to give me away. If I preferred to post with my identity that would be MY business NOT yours!!!!!!!

I will not abandon my child to die because of mental illness - they did not ask to be born and yes I will stand behind them and try to support them and continue to help them as I have done till now. As a nurturer that is my god given job albeit nearly impossible. One would have to be extremely selfish and self-centered themselves to give up on their own flesh and blood.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 2:03 pm
Hi OP. Just wondering if you ever read this interesting piece:

Quote:
HERE IS A PIECE THAT DESCRIBES THE REALIZATIONS THAT ARE OH SO VERY TRUE:
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect
their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.


Or if you prefer, I can write the same thing that you have heard over and over again: Oh, you poor thing. Hugs and kisses. We are here for you. It is so hard. Mental illness is so stressfull. Try herbal teas and chiropratic medicines. Have you tried bio-feedback? Have you tried cholov yisroel? Make sure you take time for yourself. Let us know how it goes. With Hashem's help, everything will be well. We should hear only good news.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 2:20 pm
wow you are pretty low to kick me down further while I'm obviously already stressed enough - but thanks Rolling Eyes
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2007, 2:54 pm
I would make sure I as the parent werent doing the wrong parenting to bring out these angry rages meaning I the mother would first speak to A PROFEESIONAL ABOUT MY PARENTING TECHNIQUES. IFG I WSA DOING EVERYTHING right id see what I can do to help the child.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 03 2007, 1:23 pm
even if that's obvious who it is, it is MEAN!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2007, 7:47 am
Does Youre husband try to get hehp for your child?
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