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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
The Year My Mother a'h Cried



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downsyndrome




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 4:12 pm
Memories, memories Smile Crying Crying Smile Crying Crying Smile Smile Crying Crying
My mother a'h was THE quintessential balabusta; she was immaculate, geshikt, a master cook/chef/baker, a perfectionist, brilliant, pretty, good - oh! so good, an amazing person KA"H (does it make sense to say KA"H on somebody who is no longer alive?)
She always did all her housework herself and only started to have cleaning help after she was diagnosed with cancer l'o.
Her home shone, even though she had a very draining job which was especially seasonal and she worked incredibly hard right before Pesach.
One year, on erev bedikas chometz, after a long day at work, my mother cooked her Pesach fish, put it over, and then put it in the fridge. As she was placing the dish into the fridge, it tipped toward her and an avalanche of fish juice came pouring out all over the clean fridge and onto the floor, running right under the refrigerator. I remember her scream of shock and then she broke down in tears. She cried for a coupla' moments, then rolled up her sleeves, pulled the fridge away once again, cleaned all over the place that was swimming in smelly fish juice, placed the fridge back where it belonged and once again cleaned the interior of the fridge.
I did my fridge today - I had cleaning help, yet I am drained. I can't help but remember and feel along what that must have felt like for my mother a'h. I was a teenager then; NOW I feel her pain.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 4:19 pm
She was lucky that the juice was not scalding hot. I have seen those kinds of injuries erev Pesach and I remember sending my kids to get me some bandages and burn cream on Pesach when I burned myself. One friend burned herself on hot soup erev Pesach and neglected it until chol ha moed. It really needed treatment for several weeks. Still, we today do not measure up to the mothers of yesterday!
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downsyndrome




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 4:36 pm
Yes, southerbubby, I still remember the year my sheitel macher had a glass jar of burning 'shmaltz' explode all over her. Don't even ask! She was in the burn unit in isolation for all of Pesach, and, and, and....
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 5:43 pm
downsyndrome wrote:
My mother a'h was THE quintessential balabusta; she was immaculate, geshikt, a master cook/chef/baker, a perfectionist, brilliant, pretty, good - oh! so good, an amazing person .


wow!
Was she a "natural" or did she have excellent training from her mother?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 5:47 pm
yes - we never truly understand the pain of a mother ... yet we remember ... until one day the memory makes sense ... when we too are a mother ... sorry for your pain {{{{HUGS}}}}
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 5:48 pm
oops! my fridge is waiting, and so is everyone who might want to shower.....gotta go! Think of me, and daven that Hashem should give me the koach..... Wink Thanks for sharing those precious, inspirational memories. Smile
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downsyndrome




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 6:35 pm
Motek wrote:
downsyndrome wrote:
My mother a'h was THE quintessential balabusta; she was immaculate, geshikt, a master cook/chef/baker, a perfectionist, brilliant, pretty, good - oh! so good, an amazing person .


wow!
Was she a "natural" or did she have excellent training from her mother?


Motek, my mother a'h lost her own mother when she was a very young girl; her mother died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 34 when she was pregnant with her 13th child! Crying Then my mother a'hh lost her father during the war in Matthaussen, so she grew up without parents, a war refugee; she was basically a self-made amazing person! When we were sitting shiva for her one of my uncles told us that if our mother would have been a man she definitely would have been a gadol hador!!!
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 9:08 pm
downsyndrome wrote:
she was basically a self-made amazing person!


really amazing
her background, her difficult life - and we? our generation is so weak, we have what we call problems which are nothing compared to hers, and we fall apart (disclaimer: some people have truly serious problems, some overcome them, etc. just generalizing)

Quote:
When we were sitting shiva for her one of my uncles told us that if our mother would have been a man she definitely would have been a gadol hador!!!


Did you like that comment? Not sure what he meant by it.

Quote:
my mother cooked her Pesach fish, put it over, and then put it in the fridge.


what does "put it over" mean?
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downsyndrome




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 9:27 pm
Motek wrote:
downsyndrome wrote:
she was basically a self-made amazing person!


really amazing
her background, her difficult life - and we? our generation is so weak, we have what we call problems which are nothing compared to hers, and we fall apart (disclaimer: some people have truly serious problems, some overcome them, etc. just generalizing)

Quote:
When we were sitting shiva for her one of my uncles told us that if our mother would have been a man she definitely would have been a gadol hador!!!


Did you like that comment? Not sure what he meant by it.

I'm a realist, so I took the comment at face value and grinned and beared it cuz I knew it was the truth. In our chassidishe circles, great women are just great women, but great men can and do grow to become gedolim of the generation. Facts are facts. You can argue that there have always been great rebbetzins and women who made a difference and went down in history. True. But, my mother a'h did not come from a rabbinic dynasty, she did not marry a rav, she did not build educational institutions, etc. She did so many great, unbelievable things in her very unassuming quiet ways. As a man, she might have started a chain of greatness, but as a woman....? WEll, 'I' am her dynasty and I certainly try to emulate her, but hey, she left big shoes to fill (even though she was all of five feet tall and wore a size 6 shoe!).

Quote:
my mother cooked her Pesach fish, put it over, and then put it in the fridge.


what does "put it over" mean?


She emptied it into another container other than the one she cooked it in.
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 9:28 pm
My mother in law amazes me ba'h. She grew up in Morocco and lost her mother when she was 10. She had to take care of 6 children all by herself. I think of how wasteful we Americans are compared to the Sephardim and Israelis in the early days who were lacking things we consider necessities. I remember how shocked she was when I used a paper towel rather than a cloth to wipe up a spill!

My husband became Chabad, and she switched the meat over. We are very limited in the hechshers we use, and there was no b'datz haredi cheese when we went to her in Naharia one Shavuos. When my father-in-law came back from the store and said there was no cheese, without blinking an eye, she got out the cheesecloth and on Erev Shavuos, she made her own ricotta for the blintzes!

my father in law, passed away on Rosh chodesh Adar. He went through the war, and while I can't imagine how someone who was in the camps could have a nerve left, he was one of the least peevish people I have ever met. Nothing bothered him! Not even bad driving or losing his keys! He certainly never held a grudge against anyone, even though he was mistreated badly in business.

I love them both and wish my mother in law, Rochel bat Penina long life, and that Moshiach should come immediately so I can see my father in law again!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 10:05 pm
Wow, that really is amazing...
But Motek, you wrote that our generation is so weak.
I feel that our generation is so weak, but yet so strong.
We are the only generation which has been left practically without gedolim. There are no spiritual giants like there used to be. We are trully lost. So yes, we are so weak, but at the same time, we are so strong...to carry on like this....
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avigayil




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 10:16 pm
I lost a very dear friend to me sveral years ago. When I was learning about frum Judaism, she really took me under her wind and treated me like a daughter.
She had me many shabbosim and counseled me through many tough times with my family. She treated everyone with such respect and patience, from the local rov to the local nebach old woman who called her for things every day she had a smile on her face.
She bought me a personalized leather siddur after my conversion. S
he never even had one of her own.
She had me almost every Pesach, invited me to all of her American kids chasunahs.
She made my vort when I got engaged and a sheva brachas after I married.
I made my own 1'st seder last year, the first Pesach after she was niftar and I couldn't believe how she was always smiling.
So when dh and I had our daughter, we named partly for her....her middle name....Naomi. I do miss Naomi so much. especially this time of year.
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 10:21 pm
Wow, her name was Noami and you were like Ruth!
Do you see the hashgocha protis in that?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:15 am
amother wrote:

We are the only generation which has been left practically without gedolim. There are no spiritual giants like there used to be. We are trully lost. So yes, we are so weak, but at the same time, we are so strong...to carry on like this....


true
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withhumor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:22 am
If you haven’t heard about my cholent from last year’s Erev shabbos hagodol… here goes http://www.simchawear.com/cholent.jpg B’H I’m still alive, but every time I think of cholent for shabos hagodol, I see my kitchen all over again with beans and kishka and marrow bones and flanken and Hungarian paprika… iside every cabinet, splattered on every corner of the kitchen walls.
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iamawife




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:31 am
with humor,
my oh my did u have a job there to do,
how did that happen?
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withhumor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:41 am
I happened because I was in a very stressful situation at the time, and to add to my stress, my family decided that it would be the best thing for them to eat by me, why not, since their houses are cleaned for pesach…. (how convenient!, what am I, a [gentile] or something…?) so from my stress, I put up a cholent on Thursday and it got burnt, I was too busy to baby-sit the pot. So Friday morning I put up another one, and it exploded (I was too stressed to read the instructions of the crock pot!) so finally, I bought some cholent and vowed that nobody, will EVER take advantage of me, EVER again. Don’t come too close to me right now, I bite!
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iamawife




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 12:31 pm
wow I know it always has to happen when u have guest, Banging head

btw did you keep yor vows this year Question
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withhumor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 12:48 pm
This year, it’s each man to its own.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 1:07 pm
Thank you so much for sharing that about your mother. She sounds like she was a true aishes chayil and an amazing woman. It inspires me to be a stronger person.
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