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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
Which would upset you more?
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| Finding out your child is Gay/Lesbian? |
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80% |
[ 56 ] |
| Finding out your child is working off the books and getting programs? |
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20% |
[ 14 ] |
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| Total Votes : 70 |
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amother
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 Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:02 am
Folks, I'm laughing so hard I can't get my Pesach work done. Please help. 
I'm the OP of the thread concerning the Lesbian that was invited to speak at the frum girl's school.
In many posts, IMO's opined that Lesbianism is no worse than stealing (for instance-working off the books, and getting programs).
My question- Which would upset you more?
Finding out your child is Gay/Lesbian?
OR
Finding out your child is working off the books and getting programs?
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Raisin
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:05 am
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neither are right, but it would be easier to convince someone to give up stealing than to make someone gay straight.
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amother
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:05 am
| amother wrote: | | non of the above! | You're full of baloney! Don't wish it on yourself!
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greenfire
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:17 am
You're kidding right .... we are not allowed to say the "g @ y" word here ....
stealing and taking from the gov't are similar ... but not the same ...
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lotte
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:19 am
| amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | non of the above! | You're full of baloney! Don't wish it on yourself! |
before you are being nasty I meant I dont wish my kids were any of the above-now relax ,take a shmate and go clean!
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amother
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:23 am
| teneleven wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | non of the above! | You're full of baloney! Don't wish it on yourself! |
before you are being nasty I meant I dont wish my kids were any of the above-now relax ,take a shmate and go clean! | Gimme a break, any frum IMO who would not be upset at discovering their child is Gay/Lesbian, is in an Emotional Coma.
OOOOOK, I'll go clean. See u later 8) .
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greenfire
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:40 am
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I know a group of teens where they are all "bi" - I think they love the thrill of experimentation....
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DefyGravity
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:47 am
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Much rather find out that they're working off the books and getting programs, at least there's help for that.
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amother
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:48 am
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I agree with Raisin. Being gay is a lifestyle that someone chooses, while stealing could be a once in a while yetzer hara thing that can more easily be overcome.
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mimsy7420
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 10:54 am
| amother wrote: | | I agree with Raisin. Being gay is a lifestyle that someone chooses, while stealing could be a once in a while yetzer hara thing that can more easily be overcome. |
Um, actually they don't choose to be gay - they do choose to act on their urges though.
Stealing everyone knows is wrong and someone has to put their conscience away in order to do it.
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redhot
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 11:27 am
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I would be equally devastated
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mimsy7420
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 11:35 am
| sthillmom wrote: | | I would be equally devastated |
agreed.
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mumoo
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 11:40 am
| only1 wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I agree with Raisin. Being gay is a lifestyle that someone chooses, while stealing could be a once in a while yetzer hara thing that can more easily be overcome. |
Um, actually they don't choose to be gay - they do choose to act on their urges though.
Stealing everyone knows is wrong and someone has to put their conscience away in order to do it. |
for some it is a choice, a reaction to a bad relationship, urge to experiment
desire to shock
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mimsy7420
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 11:43 am
| mumoo wrote: | | only1 wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I agree with Raisin. Being gay is a lifestyle that someone chooses, while stealing could be a once in a while yetzer hara thing that can more easily be overcome. |
Um, actually they don't choose to be gay - they do choose to act on their urges though.
Stealing everyone knows is wrong and someone has to put their conscience away in order to do it. |
for some it is a choice, a reaction to a bad relationship, urge to experiment
desire to shock |
I agree.
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JRKmommy
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 12:01 pm
I would be upset with them for stealing - both because it is an aveira and because it also hurts people and is illegal. I would also be upset at myself to some degree, because if they would do that, I might see it as a failure on my part to teach correct middos. I wouldn't hesitate to show my child that I was angry and upset in that case, because maybe that would awaken their conscience.
If my child had a certain orientation or preference, OTOH, it would not be a feeling of anger toward them, but rather a feeling perhaps of sympathy because they'd be in a difficult position. I don't think that it would necessarily be that easy for them to reconcile their feelings with their Jewish beliefs. They are growing up with a Chabad shul, and I'd be concerned about them feeling like they are still welcome, and not feeling like rejecting their upbringing. In addition, there would be consequences in terms of future plans re marriage and children, and perhaps some "mourning" period if those were not possible. In any event, I wouldn't focus on my feelings at all. My job would be to be a mother, and to be there for my child as they struggle with this issue. It wouldn't be about me.
Last edited by JRKmommy on Tue, Mar 27 2007, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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shayna82
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 1:14 pm
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I dont answer annonymous posts, sorry
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southernbubby
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 1:32 pm
I believe that most parents want their children to marry and have children. I don't think it is wrong for parents to be extremely unhappy if it is unlikely for the child to marry and have children. I also think that even the most tolerant people, if they are hetero themselves, cannot really relate to homos-xuality.
Even the most fair-minded individuals might struggle to understand their gay child's desires. Even the most understanding of parents might wonder where they went wrong. Even the most worldly people might cringe in embarrassment if they saw an affectionate gay encounter. I think that this is just reality. Even if we do not wish the gay person any unhappiness in his or her life, even if we strive to accept everyone without passing judgment, most of us hope that our children will have a desire for the opposite gender and to want to marry and have children. I think that most people would have a hard time seeing their child in a same gender "marriage", even if there would be children adopted or born by artificial insemination. I would not brand a parent as "homophobic" is he or she was honest and said that they would be very upset if their child was gay.
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amother
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 1:40 pm
| shayna82 wrote: | | I dont answer annonymous posts, sorry | You just did. 8)
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