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-> Interesting Discussions
amother
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 Thu, Mar 29 2007, 1:59 pm
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I was thinking about going to work since we're financially extremely tight the last two years. But then I keep reminding myself that whatever is bashert for a person to earn that year that's how much he'll have. So why should I work so hard when dh is working already and will have the same amount of money anyway. I'm not sure if I'm right but I feel like dh is doing the hishtadlus that every person has to do in order to be deserving his parnoso. Now I don't think everybody should quit their job but personally for me it's very hard to go out and work. I've never asked a rav or somebody else but I would like to hear other opinions.
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Basya
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:01 pm
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Speak to your rav- Hishtadlus is not ''one size fits all'' everyone has a different level.
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BrachaVHatzlocha
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:02 pm
First of all, we do need to do hishtadlus (effort). Maybe Hashem does want you to go work to make more money.
On the other hand, I don't know your situation. Do you have babies at home? Why would it be hard to work? Keep in mind extra expenses if you go to work - childcare, transportation, etc. You have to factor that in.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't work, just keep that in mind.
And yes, it's a good idea to speak to a rov or other knowledgable person. hatzlocha and hope your money situation improves.
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DefyGravity
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:03 pm
I don't think this is bitachon, it just doesn't make sense. The OP isn't being logical at all.
Last edited by DefyGravity on Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:06 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Squash
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:05 pm
I think that it's a very high madreiga to be able to have bitachon like that.
I once heard an interesting comparison to how much money is bashert for you versus how much you work.
Basically, there is X amount of money bashert for you. Let's say that is like a big bucket filled with water, the water being the money. At the bottom of the bucket there's a little spout through which the water comes flowing out. If you were to make intall lots of other spouts all around the bucket, the water will come flowing out much more quickly. But after all is said and done there still is the same amount of water there for you.
So by doing more hishtadlus you'll possibly have a bigger "flow" of money, but the amount of money you make is still what's bashert for you.
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 2:08 pm
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It's an interesting discussion! But not practical.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 3:22 pm
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Interesting that I find this when dh has just stopped working to help me with the baby. I wish we could go without having him work.
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shabbatiscoming
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 3:26 pm
| amother wrote: | | I was thinking about going to work since we're financially extremely tight the last two years. But then I keep reminding myself that whatever is bashert for a person to earn that year that's how much he'll have. So why should I work so hard when dh is working already and will have the same amount of money anyway. I'm not sure if I'm right but I feel like dh is doing the hishtadlus that every person has to do in order to be deserving his parnoso. Now I don't think everybody should quit their job but personally for me it's very hard to go out and work. I've never asked a rav or somebody else but I would like to hear other opinions. |
but how do you know how much money is bashert for you and your husband to be makign a year? it could be that really your bashert amount of income really includes the amount that you would also be bringing in.
also, if you could use the money I really do not see what the question is. it would be a good thing and help......
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lotte
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 3:31 pm
| Basya wrote: | | Speak to your rav- Hishtadlus is not ''one size fits all'' everyone has a different level. |
Very smart Batya and VERY TRUE!
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lotte
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 3:32 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | It's an interesting discussion! But not practical. |
sweet comment onece again!
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 3:57 pm
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You can't just sit around and expect money to fall from h eaven. You have to make a kayli.
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DefyGravity
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:00 pm
I agree.
You can't walk around doing dangerous things just b/c H-shem decides when your number's up.
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Flowerchild
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:01 pm
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OP, why is it hard for you to go out and work? if you dont mind me asking
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:08 pm
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Like the story about the chossid who dreamed about winning the lottery, and the Bas Kol scramed out, "You have to buy a ticket ...."
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amother
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:09 pm
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there was once this person who went to his rebbe ( I think it was the Klausenberger Rebbe) and asked for a bracha for parnassah. the rebbe said what do you want I should wish your boss falls on his head and gives you this massive raise? the rebbe went on to say if you go into business I can give you a bracha to be very succesful. So we see a person must do hishtadlus.
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Motek
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:23 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | You can't just sit around and expect money to fall from h eaven. You have to make a kayli. |
Her husband works. That's a keili. The question being asked is how a big a keili must one make?
Some of the responses here seem irrelevant to the discussion since the OP is not saying that neither of them will work.
How far should it go? If a husband and wife work and don't earn enough, would you (choc, defy etc.) say their child or children should leave school to go to work to help out? That's what many children did in earlier decades. Why not now?
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DefyGravity
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:28 pm
Of course I wouldn't say that her kids should work if money is tight. That's not what the OP is asking about and that's not what people are telling her to do.
I'm just irked that the OP seems to have some weird idea about how their parnassa is decreed.
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workingallthetime
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:44 pm
what a "controversial" topic. as a working mom, it always irks me to hear my friends/neighbors tell me why they "can't" work, and then see them get tuition reduction and other breaks that I work my tail off to pay for.
It wasnt easy for me to work full time while I was pregnant, nursing, dealing with a sick kid, etc. but I did b/c financially my family couldnt get by on my husbands income alone (we could of if we didnt have to pay tuition, etc but thats for another thread).
This seems like such an illogical approach it almost angers me. I agree what one will have is prescribed on rosh hashana, but I dont think that means we should relax our efforts.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:47 pm
As we all know pesach is a very shall we say expensive time in the jewish calendar, I decided if I dont want to swipe the card too much I better get a part time job!! .........and thats what I did!!
ofcourse its not easy with a baby home, but if you want something to happen you go ahead and you make it happen!!
My dh is so proud of me, he feels that were in it together.
after all arent we?
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Flowerchild
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Thu, Mar 29 2007, 4:56 pm
| Quote: | My dh is so proud of me, he feels that were in it together.
after all arent we? |
yup, but some people dont think so
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