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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Hyperlalia /rant



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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 12 2014, 1:49 am
Apologies to those of you who have non verbal kids. I know that you would give anything to hear your child communicate with you.

Hyperlalia is a fancy Latin word, loosely translated as "Honey, please stop talking. Mommy has a migraine!" It's the complete opposite end of the spectrum, where they talk non stop, like the child has been given a dozen energy drinks laced with meth, and an espresso chaser. It tends to come and go, but when it hits, there is NO STOPPING IT. You can tell the child 100x to please take a deep breath and dial back the volume, but it's not happening.

DD is constantly getting in trouble in school for it, and at home there are times when she simply drives me up the wall. She likes to make lists of things, and she likes to rank things in order. Out of 30 kids in her class, she'll rank who she likes best, from 1 to 30. Halfway through the list, she'll decide that she likes Jamal better than Kedesha, and then start the list all over again. Then she'll start listing them from least favorite to most favorite. Then she'll list favorite teachers and staff. Then she'll list her favorite videos, books, or characters. She'll list her favorite stuffed animals in order - and again, if she changes her mind mid-list, she has to start again from the top. When she gets this way, there is NO stopping her. She'll follow you from room to room, there's no escape.

I don't want to tell her to "shut up", because that is extremely rude, and will hurt her feelings. I want her to know that she can talk to me and express herself - but at the same time, sometimes I just want to hear myself think.

During dinner on Shabbos, she would not stop talking, no matter how often I told her to please settle down. To make matters worse, DH is super chatty too, and the two of them compete for my attention. I was sitting in the middle, so I was getting it in stereo. I had a really bad migraine coming on, and it got so bad that I was afraid I was going to throw up. I had to put down my fork and run to the bedroom and shut the door. I just lay there, curled up in the dark, wanting to crawl under a rock for the next 20 years or so. Then I had to tell them to quit checking on me! Aaaaaaargh!

If you have super verbal kids (or DH), how do you cope? Seriously, I wanted to die.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 12 2014, 2:50 am
Sorry, you're having it so.tough. I am with ya on this.

My DD has ADHD and without her meds her brain is on Mars and with it she's a chatter box! Maybe you tell them, I need some space right now, I think I feel a migraine coming up.

Can u distract her with a movie? An electronic game? Family photos? I find it very helpful , for my daughter when she's in chat mode...

G'luck!
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 12 2014, 8:27 am
I don't know if this is practical for your daughter, since I know you've posted about her academic issues before, but would it be possible for her to write down what she's saying? Then you can read (skim) it later. This way you don't have to listen, but she'll still feel like you're involved because you're going to look at it.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 12 2014, 8:36 am
I sympathize.

My feeling is that, I"yH, my kid is going to live without me some day, and I am actually doing a favor by setting some limits, even if it feels mean now.

I have been known to say, "I am not available until X:00, and if you can remember that and not tell me anything until then, I will give you all my attention for 15 minutes." I have also been known to set timers.

Stereo? Aauugh. I'd go out of the room, lock myself in somewhere quiet, and let them chatter at each other for a while. B"H, my DH is a quiet sort.
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