Family - as aBT dealing with family

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 6:57 pm

My mother is coming for the First Seder

So while I was at her home, we were discussing the menu..

Immediately she goes into the soup having matzah balls and having farfel...etc etc... I quietly reminded her that I do not use those things during the first couple of days of pesach..

She rolled her eyes, oh yeah... yeesh it's just not pesach with out it..

So making alot of kugels...veggies...etc..

will see if I survive first seder

bashinda

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 7:10 pm

do you have the spce & spirit pesach cookbook? p. 106 has chicken dumplings. they seem like faux matzah balls.

here it is in case you don't have the book:

2 1/2 - 3c. ground chicken breasts (6 tops)
2 eggs, beaten
3 medium potatoes, peeled
1 carrot peeled, if desired
1/2 medium onion, peeled
1 tsp. salt

place ground chicken in large mixing bowl with eggs. grate vegis and add to chicken. season with salt. mix well with a wooden spoon for a few minutes. the longer the mixture is beaten the better the balls will hold their shape during cooking. dip hands into cold water, shape ball and drop into rapidly boiling water or soup. cover and cook 20 minutes. these freeze well.

it says don't add potato starch although it is very sticky

this is a tiny bit paraphrased. You can make half a recipe and your mom might be appeased, IY"H.

HTH!!

Talia

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 7:50 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

Immediately she goes into the soup having matzah balls and having farfel...etc etc... I quietly reminded her that I do not use those things during the first couple of days of pesach..

Why? I am unaware of this.

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 8:08 pm

I find it's nice to know the responses that don't really mean anything, and yet placate family...

So for example, in response to "How can you not have matzah balls! They are the etzem and ikkur of pesach! This isn't a Pesach seder without them! ...[and my personal fave from nonfrum family], but it's our meeenhag!"

1. Maybe next year. [or maybe not!]
2. Oh my goodness, I can't believe I forgot the matzah balls!
3. I burnt them.
4. Yes, I can see what you mean about not having matzah balls! [ie. non frum Jews consider Jewish soulfood as the epitome of being religious...and pesach is the "most" religoius holiday...so, without agreeing one can see their perspective]
5. Really, I didn't know our family had any minhagim. What other ones do you know about?
6. [Just silence...ignore the comments...continue your seder]
7. Oh, mom, you must try this kugel/chicken/etc. It came out heavenly!
8. Oh, mom, guess who I bumped into the other day! Aunt Ida! Has she lost weight?
9. Oh, mom...have you lost weight? You really look fabulous. The sweater is very flattering on you.
10. That's interesting...I hadn't thought of it like that.
11. Hmmm....you make a good point.... [for someone else's seder]
12. That IS an idea.

Basically, if you diffuse the attacks, they have no one to argue about matzoh balls with...which is rather a silly argument anyways... (but don't tell them that!)

btMOMtoFFBs

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 9:37 pm

MitzvahMom, I cam imagine how frustrating the complaining will be, but at least your mother will be there to shep nachas from the grandkids.

We are the lonliest BTs on the planet. Our extended family isn't interested in having Pesach with us because seders are late and Y"T is too long.

The seder is just me and hubby, basically. Kids are up for some of it, but not much b/c its so late.

There are no neighbors for the kids to play with b/c they all go away or have their own grandparents and cousins in town to play with. We're all quite lonely in my house....

Anyway, enjoy your mother's company and ignore the unpleasant parts as best you can.

Chag Kasher v'sameach.

Pickle Lady

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 11:55 pm

My family also won't come because its too late and too long. They would rather me have the seder start at four and end by 8pm.

Having non-frum family around during the yom tovim is hard. Enjoy the seder with your mom mitzvahmom.

HindaRochel

Mon, Apr 02 2007, 4:50 am

This suggestion won't help this year, and it may not help at all. It is an ask your Rabbi kind of thing and very radical: BUT

The Vilna Goan did not eat grubuckts; but he would hang a matzah ball in his window to show that it was perfectly kosher to eat on Pesach; he was simply machmir not to.

THEREFORE, perhaps next year you could purchase a special matzah ball pot (and bowl to make the matzah balls) and make your family matzah balls? Just use plasticware all around at the seder (plates utensils etc.). Easier to clean anyway. You don't have to eat them but you can give your mom/dad/inlaws the food they crave with a smile.

But as I said, I don't know if this is kosher or not. We eat grubuckts so I don't know all the ramifications and parameteres. Apologies if this is a totally off the wall suggestion.

Chag Kasher v'semach everyone...

Ima'la

Mon, Apr 02 2007, 5:02 am

NJMommy

btmomtoffbs - The first year we made pesach ourselves (in E"Y instead of going to family in america) I thought it would be very quiet b/c it was just us - with 3 yr old dd and 1 yr old ds...but dh made it SO exciting for them, really acting out the story and focusing more on the parts they could relate to, that we loved it, it was great, and I can't imagine having seder with more people so dh couldn't focus on the kids as much. he brings props, like toy animals for the relevant makos...and when we got to the part where he & I needed to read more grown-up stuff that they couldn't really relate to, he gave the kids blocks and told them to build Pitom and Ramses like the yidden in Mitzrayim! so on your own can be great with the right attitude and preparation!

ssbarnes

Mon, Apr 02 2007, 6:00 am

You will survive this too.

DH's loves my matzo ball soup, so we have it every Shabbos. I told my mother it just wouldn't feel like Pesach having them for the seder.

However, I do make stuffed matzo balls for the Moshiach's Meal. You can always have her over on the last night for a gebrokts meal.

Raisin

Mon, Apr 02 2007, 6:04 am

Also even if you do not use things like ready made orange juice, drinks, cakes buy them for your family to eat and drink, you do not have too. Moist shluchim do this. (although this can be hard if you have young kids and you don't want them to have that stuff.) I made those chicken balls last year, they were great. You can say, oh I thought these would be even nicer.

HindaRochel, we do not eat gebrukts but on the eighth day we do (for the same reason as the vilna Gaon) and we cook them in our regular pesach pots. But shmura matzo balls are very different then regular ones. I love them, but not frum family members may be surprised.

HindaRochel

Mon, Apr 02 2007, 6:29 am

The chicken balls do sound great....Sound good for the whole year.

Do the shmura matzah balls taste that different? My taste buds aren't so refined.

For those who have, what do you like to put in them? We haven't parsley this year, or I would add that.

Mitzvahmom

Wed, Apr 04 2007, 9:07 pm

B"H made it through the first seder Smile

It was hard to explain to the kids that my mother puts things directly on the m atzah where as we do not... still dealing with "but grandma does it."

My mother brought up the fact that I did not make matza balls

and I said it's healther see... veggies..

She took a sip and said yummm....

Then brought out main course, she wanted matzah with it I said nahh no need...

She loved the meat (good and tender)
potato kugel.. (I think I over cooked it) so she said different
the veggie kugel she asked for seconds Smile

all in all it was ok...

until 9!!

Her program on TV was going to be on, B"H kids were asleep...

So I went and sat in the hallway for an hour, while she watched her program, listening to her say "you could come out here if you wanted."

Me, "no, I am reading."

At 10 she turned it off and I came back into the living room..

She went to bed, and asked how I can sleep with the lights on, and I said I am used to it (I sleep in the living room). Evidently she woke up after I went to sleep, and turned off all the lights except the kitchen and bathroom!!! B"H we were at the Rabbis house the second seder, or we would have had to have eaten by candle light!!