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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
At what age should a child stop having meltdowns?



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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 9:10 am
My son cannot handle a cut a diarrhea a remark or even boredom.
Anything out of the ordinary and he gets all sad mad or irritable.
He is eleven years old.
Am I supposed to let him nurse his wounds or make him go to school when its time?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 10:17 am
thats a really good question.
while I dont have first hand advice bc my oldest is only 3, but I can tell you this is where my parents did a great job.
my parents have ZERO tolerance for drama/kvetching/over reacting/sulking over small little things that are not so bad.
obv, as kids we hated this, and I see my little sibs are the same, but meltdowns, unless it was a big deal, my parents just didnt give in, they didnt run after us if we were sulking, they didnt give us anything we wanted bc we were insulted,

my parents would ask us "whats the matter, how can I help you, what would you like" maybe once or twice, and then they just ignored us.
I cant say thats the RIGHT thing to do, but I can tell u no one in my family has meltdowns over diarahea
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naftala




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 10:19 am
I have a highly dramatic 11 year old. I think it is not entirely abnormal, but I am certainly no expert. If you are concerned, I would ask your pediatrician.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 10:23 am
You could try reading the book The Explosive Child (search it on amazon, I don't remember the author). You may need professional help. No, an 11 year old should not be having meltdowns. Sulking, pouting- yes, meltdowns- no.
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 2:24 pm
This is probably not what you want to hear, but I remember my sister having meltdowns into middle school, and possibly even into high school. That being said, by that point, they were pretty rare (one every couple of months at most), and it sounds like your son is having them frequently. If it's any comfort, though, she was very successful in college and is currently holding a job just fine.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 2:39 pm
Was he always like this, or is this new? Because it's actually common for pre-adolescent boys to be explosive like this. There was another thread on this recently.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 3:36 pm
Its woven into his character but it has potentially gotten 'noisier. I'm tired.

He is like either mad very sad very irritable or very excited great mood

almost never inbetween
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 3:37 pm
Its woven into his character but it has potentially gotten 'noisier. I'm tired.

He is like either mad very sad very irritable or very excited great mood

almost never inbetween
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bubbebia




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 03 2014, 4:04 pm
Adolescence. Your once happy go lucky, easy going child will turn into a monster. Your already wild child will make you want to check into a mental institution. Hormones make your kids go nuts. I had one of those but it was a girl. Still. The best thing you can do is to say, "I will not talk to you until you have settled down and can act like a mensch and talk to me respectfully." Then you turn around and walk away. And you don't look back. It's kind of like dealing with a 2 year old. The only difference is your 11 year old has a sense of cause and effect and vocabulary. Oh. And it generally settles by about 16-17 for boys.
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