Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children
Are my kids doomed?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 1:48 am
I'm a mess. Really. Can't organize myself to save my life. Never could.

A bunch of my kids have the same problem. Yeah, I might have a touch of ADD, in my daughter's case, it seems to be just disorganization, and it probably comes from never getting a good example, because she has no other ADD tendencies. How do I stop this cycle.

Anyone out there not a neat person with neat kids?
Back to top

amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 2:05 am
My mum has diagnosed herself with ADD recently. Quite unorganized, last minute person. I was probably a bit like her when I got married but after a couple of years I realized how stressed I was, how I hated the drama, the rushing around, the mess. Now I consider myself pretty organized, house is usually presentable (well as close to it as possible with 4 little kids), washing is done, no last minute rush.

Maybe I always had it in me but was using my mother as an example when I started out until I realized I don't always have to do things her way. Don't worry, your kids aren't doomed!

Just remembering in school (younger grades, not high school) I usually did homework in the last minute, if at all, desk, bag, room was a mess. There's hope!
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 5:27 am
Yes. My mother wasn't an organized person, but I am. She didn't have everything disarray though. I get it from her mother. Very Happy
Back to top

chavs




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 6:27 am
Just to give you the other side of the coin. My mother is the most organised person you could find and to me staying on top of things and keeping organised is a struggle. I never reach her pov of what's ok but just staying within what works for me is a struggle.
My point is that its not necessarily passed down.
Back to top

imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 6:46 am
I am not a very neat person. But one of my kids is. Her DH, my SIL, has a mother that is not neat either, and he became the one to sweep and vaccuum and do dishes before and after every shabbos. My DD is very grateful for her messy MIL and the habits it built in her DS.

My DD, as she became a teen and adult, helped me, and now, I'm a lot better than I used to be.
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 7:57 am
yo'ma wrote:
Yes. My mother wasn't an organized person, but I am. She didn't have everything disarray though. I get it from her mother. Very Happy

I meant yes to your question in the op, not the title. Wink
Back to top

morah




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 8:28 am
My husband and I are both messy (he's worse than me). Our almost 3 year old is very neat- well, for his age, anyway. He is obsessed with brooms and vacuums, likes to organize his stuff, and will sometimes try to organize mine. Which may or may not mean anything down the line, but it seems to me he has an organized nature.
Back to top

smiledr




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 07 2014, 8:35 am
I'm neat my mother isn't neat - even as a kid I was neat and organized . I think it's part nature part nurture. My neighbor is immaculate and all her kids are slobs (grown adults). Ure kids aren't doomed.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 08 2014, 8:16 pm
OP here

So how do they develop these habits? Wake up one day and start making their bed and putting away their clothing?
Back to top

smiledr




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 5:48 am
Even tho my mother wasn't neat she still made us clean our room - my house growing up wasn't dirty, my mother had a cleaning lady to scrub and we all chipoed in to keep the house neat. I think if u set certain rules like u must make ur bed In The morning and put ur clothes in the hampers dishes in the sink etc and go from there. Basic rules go a long way. Even little kids can do these things. My four year old does all of that and cleans up her toys. Even my two year old know to put her garbage in the trash can - I train them young:)
Back to top

amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 7:02 am
amother wrote:
I'm a mess. Really. Can't organize myself to save my life. Never could.

A bunch of my kids have the same problem. Yeah, I might have a touch of ADD, in my daughter's case, it seems to be just disorganization, and it probably comes from never getting a good example, because she has no other ADD tendencies. How do I stop this cycle.

Anyone out there not a neat person with neat kids?


I grew up with a very messy mother & also have a lot of trouble being organized.

there are 5 of us total, only one of my siblings is organized, the rest of us are not.
Back to top

saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 7:16 am
My mother is really neat and clean, I'm naturally messy and disorganized.

The trick is to pick a few things at a time to work on. Also, its important to set yourself and your kids up for success rather than failure. Buy bins so they can put toys in the right bins, have places for things etc.

And read aslobcomesclean.com
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 11:21 am
amother wrote:
OP here

So how do they develop these habits? Wake up one day and start making their bed and putting away their clothing?

I think there's a difference between neat and organized. I'm very organized, but not neat. I don't like a mess, but I don't like to clean, so not everything is neat, but everything has a place or if doesn't, I throw it out Twisted Evil , depending what it is. Like a previous poster said, you teach and make sure your children do what needs to be done, so things look neat and organized. I don't think one can become neat and organized, but if they learn the skills they will know what to do. Does that make sense at all?! Rolling Eyes
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 11:25 am
some kids will be doomed ... others will be neat freaks ... have FUN !!!
Back to top

amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 6:14 pm
It's all the luck of the draw, some nature and some nurture and never 100% one or the other. My whole community is still marveling over a girl with very dysfunctional parents who somehow pulled herself up by her own Mary Jane straps and learned how to be a normal person including organizing her living quarters, sticking to scheduled appointments, dressing and grooming herself nicely, caring for her wardrobe and all those kinds of things that her parents couldn't do. She got a very nice shidduch despite her less than ideal background because she made a concerted and successful effort to rise above that handicap.. Whether she learned from books or from a mentor I don't know, but it wasn't from either of her "lo-yutzlach" parents.
Back to top

papermageling




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 09 2014, 7:36 pm
My mom struggles quite a lot with organization, as do I. But my younger sister is incredibly organized and generally keeps things very neat. I don't know how you teach a specific kid to be neat, but it can definitely happen.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
I love frum fashion for kids
by amother
145 Today at 6:37 pm View last post
Some kids don’t thrive in a school setting 22 Today at 5:13 pm View last post
Musical people, please weigh in…am I doomed?
by amother
27 Today at 5:07 pm View last post
Are all kids like this??
by amother
4 Today at 2:49 pm View last post
Belati Kids
by amother
0 Today at 11:05 am View last post