Juggling Working and Housework

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 12:14 pm

I work in the morning and at night from home. In the afternoon I'm with the kids. I'm having a very hard time juggling errands/housework! It's nearly impossible to shop with three kids in tow (b"h), not to mention my house is never clean enough, because I barely have time to clean!

How do you juggle work/household responsibilities??

amother to protect identity

pesek zman

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 12:23 pm

Is your husband able to help with housework ?

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 12:28 pm

Depending on his mood lol he helps a lot with the kids, but he is also very busy- almost same schedule as mine

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 5:34 pm

op here...
Anyone???

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 5:48 pm

I'm a wahm, and I'll start off by saying that I don't think I juggle everything too well.

You can't do everything yourself. As I'm realizing more and more, you can't do everything yourself. You need to delegate. If you and your husband can't do it alone, then there's cleaning ladies, grocery orders, and babysitters.

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 5:58 pm

op here.

Thx for your response! My cleaning lady left after pesach, so that's definitely adding to the stress of things!
Online ordering is definitely a savior!! When I remember to do it.... I usually do, but when I go through those stages when it's "just so hectic, can't think straight, have a million things to do but don't know which to do first" then I forget. I think I need to make a to do list every night for starters (and get a new cleaning lady)

Fox

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 6:03 pm

Working at home, IME, is different from working outside the home in one and only one respect: no commute.

Now, that's nothing to sneeze at, as anyone who has even a short commute will tell you.

But there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to think that you'd be able to get more housework done than someone who is out of the house except for afternoons.

The solutions are the same: get paid help; enlist DH and kids; relax your standards; find shortcuts, etc.

No miracle solutions, unfortunately!

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 6:04 pm

amazon subscribe and save - never tried it, but I've thought about it. I think they email you a reminder before sending you again...

an amazing app I just found: Our Groceries. I can make a shopping list, and my husband can see it! So if he goes shopping, he has access to the list. I just started using it and it's great! (and free!!)

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 6:06 pm

Fox, working at home means you really never leave the office. At least I don't have regular hours, which makes any structure/routine in MY life harder.

rachel6543

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 6:12 pm

So I work full time and have 1 kid so far. Only way I'm able to juggle is to have cleaning help for the big chores (bathroom, kitchen, floors, dusting). I have a small house so cleaning lady comes 2 hrs a week. I do laundry for me and my son. My husband is responsible for his own laundry. My son is 6, so he has chores ( pick up his toys, put his clean clothes away and he now puts all the clean silverware away). Dishes are a constant battle, I occasionally use disposable when I'm lazy or sick. I have a meat dishwasher and use it as much as possible. Laundry is often done on Sundays, if I'm really behind on laundry I'll send to fluff n fold service. Also, I cook simple dinners (fast, less clean up), use lots of parchment paper or foil when I bake ( less clean up). I'm also constantly getting rid of stuff, which helps, if I don't have room to store it, it's given away or sold. My house is too small and clutters easily. Every few months I go through my son's clothes, toys...etc. unless it's really good quality, I give away his old clothes, don't have room to store too much. My husband is responsible for vacuuming, taking out trash and keeping his den/office area clean. I have my husband sometimes help our son with bath, homework, bedtime routine... Etc so I can take care of dinner dishes, cooking, laundry... Etc. for shopping I buy in bulk (less trips) and I ask my husband to often pick up stuff when I don't have time. Also use Amazon prime when I can

sky

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 7:11 pm

I think I sound like you. Work from home. mornings and nights. kids home all afternoon. DH works a far commute and comes home late. My cleaning lady also quit immediately after Pesach.

Check out Fly Lady. Some things I like (and some I do not). For example I was drowning in unfolded laundry. She recommends doing one load a day and folding it immediately. I've start not allowing myself to do another load of laundry (or at least stick it into the dryer) until the load before is folded. That has helped me get on top of that.

I've been getting my kids involved in cleaning. I let them vaccum as a reward for cleaning the living room. Or give out small treats for chores. (They are still young but can really do a lot).

I order a lot online. All the kids clothing, toiletries, gifts, toys, etc. I run all other errands on Sunday.
Some delivery services I take advantage of sometimes, like fish. but otherers I have not, but should, like Dry Cleaning Pick Up.

DH is able to go shopping for me early in the morning after shacharis so I make sure to have that list ready and waiting for when he leaves.

I go to sleep early.

I wish I was good at decluttering. We have a small house with a few kids in one bedroom, and I wish I could stay on top of all the stuff.

sky

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 7:13 pm

Fox wrote:

But there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to think that you'd be able to get more housework done than someone who is out of the house except for afternoons.

Evenings! Most of my friends shmooze, clean, do laundry, cook for shabbos after their kids go to sleep. After my kids go to sleep I hit my computer.

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 7:50 pm

Op here
Sky, that's pretty funny because I just started committing to one load of laundry a day. Except now I have a mountain of clean laundry waiting to be folded...but hey better than a dirty load! I'm gna try not putting in another load before the previous one is folded.

My kids are still young, but they are definitely in charge of cleaning up the "playroom." I just discovered my 4 yr old knows how to sweep Very Happy

I'm going to take a look at fly lady- thx!

Wish I can sleep early Sad

if I don't feed my baby at 12, he won't make it through the night. I tried setting my clock to wake me up an hour early to make supper, but haven't succeeded yet

I always considered amazon prime, but I never know how often I go through things!

I'm embarrassed to say, but we've been eating off of plastic plates since my baby was born... So much for setting the table for my husband Sad

I also have the problem that I can be a bit lazy lol Like when I have free time I don't want to clean! I want to relax!

Today's goals: Make a REALISTIC to-do list for tomorrow and cook for shabbos and tidy up up tonight (is there a dragging feet emoji? cuz I DON'T WANNA COOK!!!)

amother

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 7:54 pm

Op again
I think part of the problem is that I'm a bit burnt. My daughter is at the stage where she can't make it through the day without napping, but won't sleep at night if she does nap, so she can fall asleep at 9:00 for the night instead of 6:30. and for the past week, my son has been waking up at like 10:00 and then not falling back asleep, so I'm not really getting a unwinding break. Try working while getting your kid to sleep.... shock

b"h it's computer work, and no phone calls are needed.

Dawling

Wed, Sep 03 2014, 3:17 am

Hi OP,
I know this post is from a few months ago. How are things going now?

mominey

Sat, Jan 31 2015, 6:58 pm

I feel like this is my life, this all sounds so familiar! It's great to read everyone's input and tips.. wish I had to contribute but at least I can contribute a thanks to all those who participated in the post.

L K

Mon, Apr 20 2015, 12:48 pm

Similar scenario here.

Let's keep this thread going to figure out best practices.

1. When do we prepare lunch/snacks for young ones (for afternoon).

2. When to cook suppers?

3. What's best time to do laundry?
Night seems like an option but I'm often wiped out by then, what with

4. How do you manage long Fridays and Sundays when little kids are home and need supervision outside?

5. When do you make Shabbos, with long Fridays and children's extended bedtimes (from babies-toddlers-elementary kids it takes several hours).

6. When do you make dr appointments?

7. What's best way to do grocery shopping?

8. When to run errands, and what childcare arrangements to make?

ETA:

9. How much hired help do you think is necessary, in cleaning, babysitting (mother's helper?), or both?
Say, if you have a baby, a toddler, some little kids and no big kids who could help in significant ways.

lfab

Mon, Apr 20 2015, 2:44 pm

I don't think we can really determine best practices since each family is unique in their needs but here's what works for me/my family:

1. Lunch/snacks for myself and kids prepped the night before. I try as much as possible to prep it while kids are eating dinner (since I often send my daughter dinner leftovers). If not then either myself of DH preps it in the evening.

2. Again, I try to prep as much as possible the night before so I just have to stick it in the oven when I get home from work. If it's something that needs to be made fresh then I do it after getting home from work. I'll set the kids up with an activity (such as coloring) while I do dinner prep. I also try to do a lot of cooking ahead and freezing (ie. make a large pot of meatballs on sunday and freeze for future dinners) and use my crockpot for really quick meals for days I know I won't have time to cook.

3. For me I really try to do all my laundry on Sunday and fold as much as possible Sunday evening. Anything left gets folded on Monday evening (If I don't have time some of it just doesn't get folded at all that week embarrassed

)

4. Unfortunately they just don't get to play outside as often as I would like. If possible either I or my husband will take them out on Sunday afternoons but more often than not they stay indoors while I take care of stuff in the house.

5. Shabbos is always cooked Thursday night regardless of the season. My kids are still pretty young so they go to sleep at the same time ( or close to it) even in the summer.

6. Thank goodness both my pediatrician and dentist have Sunday hours so appointments are made for then. If the kids need to go for a sick visit or some other doctor usually my husband takes them since his hours are more flexible.

7. I used to take my 3 kids grocery shopping with me one day a week after work. Since I gave birth last summer it became to hard and with a baby in a carseat taking up most of the wagon there would be no room for groceries. Now I go one evening a week after kids are in bed and DH stays home while I go. I found it was very important for me to cut my grocery trips down to once a week. If I foreget something essential DH will pick it up on his way home otherwise we just make do without until the next week.

8.When I run eerands I usually take all my kids along with me. I generally save up all errands for Sunday. Something very local I may be able to squeeze on on my grocery shopping night or I'll run out real quickly on Sunday afternoon and leave the kids with DH (but that's only for something quick or that I absolutley can't do with them in tow).

9.Unfortunately hired help is not in the cards for us right now. I send out to a babysitter only for the hours when I am out of the house at work. Otherwise the kids are with me. No hired cleaning help. My DH helps with some of the cleaning and a lot of stuff just doesn't get done nearly as often as it should. Hopefully as my kids get older and I can have them pitch in more it will get easier.

This is how we sort of manage to do the juggle. Sorry that I don't have any brilliant ideas but hope that some of this is helpful to others. I would love to hear how others manage and any tips/tricks.

mha3484

Mon, Apr 20 2015, 3:15 pm

I have a 4 year old, a baby and I work f/t but close enough that I leave after I take him to school and am home 5:15 to 5:30 every day. DH is self employed and does the bulk of the child care.

1. When do we prepare lunch/snacks for young ones (for afternoon).

I make mine and DS's lunch while he eats breakfast.

2. When to cook suppers?

I alternate crockpot recipes, freezer meals and easy things that I can make when I get home.

3. What's best time to do laundry?
I do the bulk of the laundry Sunday with a few loads sprinkled in after work during the week.

4. How do you manage long Fridays and Sundays when little kids are home and need supervision outside?

I work Fridays but Sundays we try to do some household chores and an outing even if its target.

5. When do you make Shabbos, with long Fridays and children's extended bedtimes (from babies-toddlers-elementary kids it takes several hours).

On a good week I will start Wednesday night. Usually baking challah and a simple desert. Thursday and Friday I do the rest. I am obsessed with the crockpot and any meal that can be made as one pot. I often put meat, a veggie and starch up Friday morning before work.

6. When do you make Dr appointments?
For the kids, well visits I schedule for Sundays and DH does sick apts. For myself before or after work.

7. What's best way to do grocery shopping?
Either we all go as a family or I take my 4 year old by himself for mommy time. If DH has a slow work week he will take the kids in the afternoon.

8. When to run errands, and what childcare arrangements to make?

We usually split the errands. Some we take the kids and some we dont.

9. How much hired help do you think is necessary, in cleaning, babysitting (mother's helper?), or both?

Every 3 weeks to a month I will have a cleaning person come and do a deep clean. More often is not in the budget these days. My 4 year old is in school in the morning so DH uses that time to work or do errands that are too much for him to do with both kids.