Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
Do you give money to relatives?
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h



Do you give money to relatives?
No  
 24%  [ 25 ]
Yes - to children  
 15%  [ 16 ]
Yes - to ex  
 0%  [ 0 ]
Yes - to parents  
 5%  [ 6 ]
Yes - to in-laws  
 10%  [ 11 ]
Yes - to siblings  
 30%  [ 31 ]
Yes - to cousins  
 2%  [ 3 ]
Yes - other  
 8%  [ 9 ]
Total Votes : 101



amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 01 2014, 11:40 pm
Do you give money to relatives?
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 01 2014, 11:43 pm
As tzedakkah?
We've given to my parents when they needed it, and we have also loaned small amounts to siblings. Some we've loaned and gotten paid back, and some we "loaned" but don't expect it back anytime soon.
Back to top

causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 01 2014, 11:48 pm
we've given maaser. I try to avoid family loans/donations cause it can get very sticky.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 12:10 am
We give to my mil and our minor children.
Back to top

imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 3:41 am
Only as presents at simchas.
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:41 am
Only to DD, if she does a chore that is outside of her usual ones.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 8:15 am
I give to my sister who is divorced with a few kids and does not make enough money to cover her expenses.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 9:15 am
We have given money anonymously to my dh's siblings through a tzedakah organization. They have no clue it was from us.
Back to top

happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 9:19 am
we have given money as donations as well as loans. when giving a loan, I do undersatnd that in the event that we never see the money back, it cant affect our relationshiop. we will never lend more than we can afford to lose. the realtive we dont trust, we didnt give a loan.
Back to top

Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 9:30 am
We have never been asked, and as of now none of our immediate relatives BH is in a situation to need to. I'm not sure what we would do if someone asked. It likely would depend on several things including who asked, how much they asked and what our situation is at the time.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 10:14 am
Once we loaned money to my parents after they had a fire.
That is nothing compared to what they have given us!
Back to top

mfb




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 11:05 am
Op did you mean as in loan? Or as in tzeddakah?
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 11:08 am
I give my sister who is married and lives a kollel lifestyle money to pay tuition for one of her kids. I got another sibling to do the same. I've loaned money to other siblings. Got paid from some and told others to keep it.
Back to top

out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 11:11 am
amother wrote:
I give my sister who is married and lives a kollel lifestyle money to pay tuition for one of her kids. I got another sibling to do the same. I've loaned money to other siblings. Got paid from some and told others to keep it.


Kol HaKavod to you! This is a big Zechus!
Back to top

chillax




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 11:33 am
We give tzedaka to family. Well just my husband's side. We mostly give to his siblings, some married ones living in Eretz Yisroel and the single ones in sem or learning and trying to make it on their own. My in-laws don't really have the means, which is a shame, so us married kids try to help out when we can. ( Not like we could afford it either mind you Confused )
We try to help my in-laws too, not by directly giving them money, but by helping out when we can or fixing things up...
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 11:38 am
We give money to help with specific expenses to a sibling who has a hard time making ends meet. She and her husband are intellectually/socially limited and work at low paying jobs. We, along with other siblings, try to help out various times, like Yom Tov, or sending her child to camp, etc....
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 12:22 pm
We have occasionally given money to my husband's brother. Given, not loaned.
Back to top

freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 2:35 pm
We give money to our children all the time. The married, the single, the grandchildren, you name it. They rarely ask these days but we offer all the time. I keep my eyes open for what they need, a big birthday present, an anniversary present, if something in their house looks worn or broken. The other day my daughter in law was complaining about her frying pans and so the next time I went to the store I bought her a whole new set for milchig, fleishg and pareve. Boy was she surprised. Our kids are at the stage that they say "no more presents!" but I love getting them things, and b"h right now we can afford it. As I tell them, as soon as we are retired and living on pension all that will change and then they can support us in their old age but hopefully until then we still can help wherever we can.

When my mother was alive I loved getting her things as well, I never had to give her money straight out but it was a pleasure to be able to pay for things for her, take her out etc. My in laws would never accept money and b"h don't need but we also love to buy them things, just for fun. My husbands siblings could buy and sell us over and over, but we still love to get them and their children presents and never go there emptyhanded when on a trip, even if we show up two days in a row I will make sure to have extra presents for their children.

If we would have relatives that would ask us for money all the time? I don't know how I would feel. It really would depend why they need the money. Are they just starting out and are finding it really tight? But are doing their hishtadlus? That's fine I would be happy to help them if I could. If chas vesholom they were sick and needed help? I wouldn't even question it, would give generously if I could. But I worry about those, and I know them well from good friends, who have brothers and sisters with a lifestyle they can't keep up and live from other people's zedoko. An example that comes to mind is a good friend with a sister who married a Breslover. They have ten children, can't afford to feed them, and the grandparents and sister (my friend) give them all their maaser money. So what does the husband do with that money? He uses it....to buy tickets for the boys and himself to Uman. My friend got so mad she stopped giving them money and only buys them physical things, like food, new blankets, new clothing for the children etc., things that he can't turn into plane tickets..
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 2:55 pm
freidasima wrote:
We give money to our children all the time. The married, the single, the grandchildren, you name it. They rarely ask these days but we offer all the time. I keep my eyes open for what they need, a big birthday present, an anniversary present, if something in their house looks worn or broken. The other day my daughter in law was complaining about her frying pans and so the next time I went to the store I bought her a whole new set for milchig, fleishg and pareve. Boy was she surprised. Our kids are at the stage that they say "no more presents!" but I love getting them things, and b"h right now we can afford it. As I tell them, as soon as we are retired and living on pension all that will change and then they can support us in their old age but hopefully until then we still can help wherever we can.



Its such a nice thing you do. My grandmother and mother are like that. They don't give us money but when we need stuff they will surprise us with it or insist we go out and buy it. I think its the best present because it shows they notice the small things in our life.
[I was once telling my grandmother how I'd love to bake more challah but don't have place in my freezer and I soon after got a check in the mail with a note to buy a full size freezer. That was 7 years ago and every time I open the freezer I think of her]
Back to top

freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 02 2014, 3:41 pm
Thank you. That's the kind of things we like to do, as I wrote, as long as we can and the Ribono Shel Olam gives us the money to do. My son's living room set is really old, faded and a hand me down from heaven knows where. I told my husband that for the Yomim Tovim we are giving them a new living room set that they can choose...his only comment to me was "Freidasima, just please please make sure they don't choose that expensive leather kind"...I thought, ok, are we runnning out of money? but then he added "because during the summer it is so hot the kids will stick to it and burn themselves sliding off...

I wish I could still buy my mother things...she died this year soon after her birthday and I was so happy that I gave her a nice big bottle of cologne that she loves, I looked all over the world for it, literally, and shpritzed her all over and she loved the smell....soon after she became ill and that was that...so parents if you can afford to, buy for your children and children, buy for your parents even little things to make them happy, sometimes it is the thought, not the money.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How do people make money?
by amother
11 Yesterday at 12:35 am View last post
S/O stuff you need / stuff to give away 78 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:17 am View last post
Don't have who to give shaloch manos
by amother
9 Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:28 am View last post
BH my kids are cute or we would give them away!!
by amother
26 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:07 pm View last post
[ Poll ] S/O Therapists, what % of clients give mm?
by amother
9 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 10:07 am View last post