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Advice needed!!!
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rainbow baby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 8:47 am
Ok here's the story so far. Last week I took on another job as well as my other two jobs. I was already working Sunday morning for one job which includes travelling 45 minutes one way. So I have to leave the house at 9:15 and I'am back at 1:30. Then the other job is monday, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, it is five hours over the three mornings. I have now taken on this new job which is Mon, Tues, Wed and Thursday afternoons. The hours are between 1 and 3:45.

Well I'am totally shattered I can hardly move, I was meant to go Shabbos shopping this morning and it did not happen, I came home and had an half hour rest before going to work. I wake up even more tired then when I went to sleep. I'am sleaping really badly at the moment either taking ages to fall asleep all when I do I'am waking up every hour.

So I need advice from you women out there that work nearly full time, who have three kids and a house to run. when do you cook supper, when do you do the shopping, when do you make Shabbos, when do you have time to think and breath, when do you have time to relax, when do you have time to actually enjoy your life and not feel like a wreck?
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queen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 8:51 am
gosh it really sounds as if your hands are full.
I am not in your situation, however I have 2 pieces of advice:
give yourself 3 weeks to adjust. Don't stop now just bec. you're having a hard time- it takes time to adjust.

Secondly- suppers.... get on good terms with your freezer Very Happy as it can do you a lot of good. Make your dinners in advance, and make at least one dinner a week- that you have enough of it for a 2nd night. Use your crock pot for a dinner a week......

hope this helps a little....
queen
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shopaholic




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 8:54 am
Ok here's my story. I get up at 7, leave at 8, get to work for 8:30, leave at 12:30, get back to CH for 1. I then have 1/2 hour to do errands before I get my youngest from playgroup at 1:30. He has Speech therapy 3x a week at 2:15 so I don't get much time there to do anything. At 2:45 when he's finished therapy, I have to get DD. On Mondays I need to do carpool to & from English classes for DS so that day is shot.

Anyway, on Wednesday, when DS has no speech therapy, I do my food shopping for the week. I make a fruit order on Tuesdays in one of my short time slots.

I make supper as soon as I get home with him at 1:45 so that it can be cooked or still cooking when I run to get DD. If that doesn't happen, it has to be done at 3:00 when I bring her home.

I make Shabbos on Thursday evening & some on Friday afternoon, especially on long Fridays.

As for time for myself - now when I'm at work, & after the kids go to bed.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:04 am
I used to find it tricky to even shower! So I put myself on a schedule, Sunday, Tues, & Thurs. If I run out of steam at night, I shower when I wake up.

I'm up by 7, exercise, dress, and I'm out the door by 8:30. I'm never home before 6 Pm, and usuallyit's 7 PM and since I have shiurim several nights a week, shopping is done Sunday mornings, Tues if I can fit it in, and Thurs - right after work. (Dinner is sometimes sandwiches, so I need bread for that).

Once a week I plan meals, get my clothes ready, and prepare lunches. It all doesn't need to be done at the same time, either.
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GramaNewYork




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:18 am
Wow! Y'all tire me out just by hearing your schedules.

I agree with Queen that it is very important to give yourself an adjustment period to get used to your new schedule. Little by little you will work in the amazing feats of the other posters here.

It is extremely helpful to prepare your menus and extra meals ahead of time, but for the sake of sanity, just wait a few weeks to get used to your schedule physically.
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rainbow




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:36 am
Is there any way you can hire a girl/lady to help you through the adjustment period? Like have her watch the kids so you can lie down for half an hour or so...have her fold laundry or wash dishes or anything to lighten your load...
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:41 am
laundry is another thing! thankfully we have a big machine and plenty of clothes and linens, but eventually everything has to get washed, dried, and put away.

I recommend NOT trying to do it erev shabbos!
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:53 am
Quote:
when do you cook supper, when do you do the shopping, when do you make Shabbos, when do you have time to think and breath, when do you have time to relax, when do you have time to actually enjoy your life and not feel like a wreck?


well lets see....RELAX first of all....try to have a sense of humor about things....u will likely have to give up on some sleep, manage on 6 hrs a night, to accomplish most things, but you should be relaxed enough to actually sleep during those six hours, not have insomnia....dont be a perfectionist....dont be hard on urself when things dont run as smoothly as u would like...dont make fancy suppers (frozen veggies with some baked sweet potato and cooked chicken/ baked ziti/ frozen pizza and bodek salad/ and scrambled eggs on a difficult night.....dont spend more than a half hour a night tidying/cleaning up the house: a little mess is not so bad....keep ur chin up girl!! g'luck!
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cdawnr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 9:59 am
It sounds like you are in a tight spot time wise. It is especially hard when you have to change locations as any extra travel tends to lead to exhaustion. The problem is also not sacrificing family time to get the house work done.

First of all, don't be a perfectionist on the house right now until you have a good handle on the schedule. Remember Pasta is fast and easy and cheap. It is obviously not a long term solution as it isn't the most nutritious way to go.

As said before--the freezer is your friend. Make your Shabbas chicken and double the recipe...throw half in the freezer for the next week or for a future week when you are really exhausted.

I hate to suggest this, but find out if there is a late night supermarket you can go to after kids are in bed...

Most importantly, you and dh need to determine how to work together to make this easier -- in our house the theory is that if we are both bringing in $ then we are both responsible for the house stuff as well.

Good luck!
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LisaS




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 10:47 am
I had my 3rd baby in less than three years during the tax season and my husband is an accountant. I was completely on my own with the 3 toddlers/babies and housework except for Shabbsos. What got me through each day was only thinking of the immediate things I needed to do and at all costs avoiding feeling overwhelmed. The overwhelming feeling is what makes you not be able to function.

Now that you have an additional job does it allow for cleaning help once a week?

Also do you have any family that you can go to for Shabbos or out to Shabbos meals the first few weeks while you are adjusting?

Behatzlacha!!!!!!!
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LisaS




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 10:50 am
I thought of one more thing - give each child an extra 5 minutes of mommy time each day. It sounds really hard but they probably also feel that you are busier and need your attention more. Just one extra story, few more minutes cuddling, etc.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 11:02 am
You def need to learn to streamline. if you don'
t have help, learn to make things work for you like dispoable dishes, etc.
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newmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 11:31 am
CM, you exercise before work but don't take a shower before leaving to work?
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 12:18 pm
Right. I shower before.
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workingallthetime




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 1:35 pm
heres my two cents -

as much as possible forgive yourself if things are not perfect, and know that the first few weeks, maybe even months of any new routine may be difficult as you try to figure out what works for you and makes things manageable.

THEN - make a list of very easy suppers that your family will eat (my kids are picky) that dont take long to make. Pasta w/ meat sauce (or sauce and cheese), sloppy joes, tuna sandwiches, pizza, hamburgers, stir fry, and once a week (at least!) leftovers from shabbos.

I try to get up and get ready before my kids are up (unfortunately I often leave the house before they are up too) and find that I can get dressed and ready in less than half the time withough three toddlers clamoring for attention. that way, when they wake up, you are ready to give them all the attention they need and can get them breakfast and dressed, etc.

Shabbos - my policy, is if it cant be done in an hour, its not being made, so I do grocery shopping after the kids are down for the night either wed. or thurs, and try to make as much as possible thurs. night. nothing elaborate though usually, so if you or your DH are into fancy meals on shabbos, that could be difficult.

if it is at all possible for you to have help in your house, I highly recommend it as that can make a big difference in your stress level if you hvae help with some of the cleaning, laundry, etc.
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creativemommyto3




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 2:00 pm
What do you make for shabbos? I also work crazy hours.
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workingallthetime




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 4:05 pm
arita430 wrote:
What do you make for shabbos? I also work crazy hours.


Chicken (with either BBQ sauce, Montreal seasoning, sweat & sour sauce, teriyaki sauce, etc)
Roast
Rice (sometimes ill add veggies, craisins, pine nuts, onions)
Veggies (usually just a couple bags of frozen veggies sauteed with some garlic, but you can vary this and make string beans, zuchinni with marinara sauce, or really any veggie)
Orzo (with either frozen bag of pepers/onions/craisins or frozen peas and onions)
Kugel (I usually buy this ready made)
dips (store bought)
Fish (I bake the gefilte fish either in tomatoe sauce or with a little italian dressing)
roasted potatoes

shabbos day is usually salads (which I can cut and dress on shabbos!), dips, fish, cholent, and cold cuts.

Like I said, not too elaborate, and pretty boring since the repetoire is pretty limited. If I have a little extra time I will bake some shnitzel (no way im going to stand and fry it!) or even look through a cookbook for new ideas, but those times are few and far between, and only when I know I have time for it.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 4:50 pm
u dont. thats the prob with working full time. u cant have time for eveyrhting.
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BrachaC




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 4:52 pm
I just want to give the adjustment factor its due. I know that when I start anything new it is going to take me about three weeks to feel like I have any energy. Your body has to adjust, and it will take until you are comfortable for your anxiety level to go down so that you can sleep better.

I just finished my masters degree. I had a 24 hour per week internship, with about an hour commute each way! and then went to class one night per week and Fridays, plus papers, exams, etc. I have two kids with one on the way. My oldest is in first grade and we do over an hour of homework per night.

I definitely simplified supper. Bread, eggs, and cut veggies one night per week, one night of pasta in some way shape or form, and other simple easy things. I have two categories of supper- things that are ready in a half hour and things ready in ten minutes. I also found that planning one decent meal for the week (I always made it Wednesday because one of my in-laws babysat so I could go to school and dh could work and had to leave them supper) makes a big difference. Either chicken and rice in the oven, something in the crockpot- meatballs, pot roast etc... That way everyone knew that in the middle of the week there would be one really decent dinner.

Also, laundry does not have to get folded if you have a place to store it, but if it is going to be in a big pile then it is essential to pull out everyone's clothing for the next day at night before you go to bed.

Knowing that there are piles for each kid, I know what I'm wearing and lunches/book bags are packed make getting up in the morning much less traumatic no matter how tired I am.

Good luck.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 11 2007, 8:28 am
yes about the adjustment period: it takes about 3 months to really adjust, 3 looong difficult months.....I had it really really hard when I first returned to my full time job after I had my son...I thought I was losing my mind. but guess what! my mind is still intact BH!! I dont find the situation nearly as difficult, cuz I have adjusted BH, and learned how to function, whats imp to me and whats not, etc
good luck!! good luck!! and HUGS
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