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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 10 2014, 10:27 pm
DS14 just started High School. He is having a difficult time adjusting, as many teens starting High school are prone to do, in addition there are many family background issues that I will not bring up here, he most definitely is the most heavily affected of all my children.

DS has mentioned a few things that his main Gemara/Jewish studies teacher has said in class, the way he operates and his policies. To say the least, the guy sounds like he has no idea what to expect of boys this age, let alone educate them. He has informed them among many of his policies that: 'If you fail a test, you will miss lunch and write out the necessary material 25 times' Batting Eyelashes or that failing a test is, deep breath, disrespectful'.

As DS can be dramatic and embellish as well as being prone to hearing the details he wants to, I decided to arrange a meeting with his teacher. I spent an hour talking to him, this week. He indeed insists that getting his students to miss lunch in order to write out the material of a test failed is a very strict policy of his and he hopes it will be a one time consequence and a deterrent to his students not to fail. To his credit, he did suggest a number of strategies to work with my son but they all had one common goal: To get DS to fit his idea of education.

What if a kid doesn't work well with taking tests? What if a kid needs a different method of learning? Who said that sweating to learn for tests is the only way to prepare for Bais Medrash?

I came out of the meeting frustrated. Although there was some positivity, I'm not convinced. I felt like he was talking down to me, he mentioned more than once about "being an educator" vs "not having educational experience" bla bla bla. I came out with the feeling that I as a mother, am emotional and need to leave his education to his 'experienced teachers' as I don't have the educational background.

He also proceeded to praise DS using the very terms I had described him, as if he was trying to placate me. Yes, praise is important, but it didn't feel like it was coming from the heart.

I am so frustrated. For many reasons, this school is the only option right now.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 10 2014, 11:04 pm
Depriving a person from a meal especially a child is abuse. It should not be tolerated at all. I would have a conversation with the principle so that he can get the Rebbe to figure out a more appropriate consequence. Or get a doctors note stating that it would be harmful to your DC health for him to skip a meal.

My DS has a new teacher to the school. She didnt allow the kids to eat snack, and the result was horrible. The kids were really cranky. Someone informed her about the school policy for snack time.
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654785




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 10 2014, 11:35 pm
As a parent, it is your right to demand that your child be allowed to eat lunch every day, no matter what. If the teacher wants, he can call you and discuss other alternatives should your son end up failing a test. He has no right to withhold lunch - it is not a privilege to eat.

As part of the education system, I have come across teachers who withhold recess as a consequence for poor behavior. When certain parents found out about this, they immediately called the principal and explained that their child had a huge amount of energy and recess was an important outlet for it. Recess would not be a viable punishment. They came up with a list of alternative consequences (extra homework, etc) should their child need punishment. From then on it was understood, this child is entitled to recess. The end.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:48 am
If you feel that your DS is at risk of failing tests due to his scholastic ability level, you should talk to the principal about this now. Otherwise I'd probably shrug and wait until it comes up, if it does at all.

But, as a "professional educator," I agree with you on this that the policy is aggressive and the teacher doesn't sound very warm. I hope for DS's sake that your impressions are wrong. My professional opinion is that children should not be punished for failing tests. If it's a real attitude/lack of effort problem, let the parents decide if they want to punish their kid when they see the marks he brings home. The teacher's assumption should be that children do not choose to fail.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:54 am
it's the teachet who should be punished if the child failed his test. He obviously didnt do a goid job teaching!
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 2:03 am
This is insane, depriving a child from lunch?? Simply crazy, the school should think twice about allowing someone with this attitude to teach.To me this sounds very cruel, talk to the principal.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 2:20 am
654785 wrote:
As a parent, it is your right to demand that your child be allowed to eat lunch every day, no matter what. If the teacher wants, he can call you and discuss other alternatives should your son end up failing a test. He has no right to withhold lunch - it is not a privilege to eat.

THIS.

Maybe he's a lousy teacher. Each time a child fails a test, the teacher should be sent without any supper!
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 2:25 am
That's a terrible policy!

Does this man teach the whole grade? If not, can your son switch to a different class?
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 6:56 am
What planet does this guy live on? Does he really not realize that some kids can get 100 with no effort while others study for weeks to get a 60? The bad mark is punishment enough! /these kids work so hard, only to get an F. That's like a punch in the stomach, every single time. Nothing to be gained by keeping that stomach empty and punishing more.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 11 2014, 7:15 am
You have a real conundrum. If your child needs extra time or help with tests, then you'll have to get it written into an IEP. Otherwise the school does not have to accommodate any of your requests.

On the other hand, once your kid gets labeled as "different", the school can come up with some excuse to not teach him and will tell you that you have to go somewhere else.

It happened to my DD, and she ended up in public school because no Jewish school in my state was willing to help her. Mad
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 14 2014, 1:10 am
I would be having a conversation with the administration. You don't withhold food from a child. Period.
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