Respond or ignore?

amother

Tue, Dec 09 2014, 10:11 am

I didn't know where to put this so sorry about the forum placement.

If someone emails you and you suspect their intention is inappropriate do you reply with a curt response or would you ignore?

youngishbear

Tue, Dec 09 2014, 10:23 am

I would ignore at first. If he escalates, seek advice from someone with more experience than me Wink

rising hero

Tue, Dec 09 2014, 10:50 am

I agree. Just ignore it. Whoever it is will get bored and move on. I've had it in the past.

amother

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 8:46 am

Would your advice be different if it's someone that I see/deal with quite often?

Heyaaa

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 9:00 am

I would ignore it and if he would keep trying to message me I would tell him that if he continues trying to contact me I would press charges.

groisamomma

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 9:11 am

amother wrote:

Would your advice be different if it's someone that I see/deal with quite often?

No, that's the point. If they are ignored repeatedly they will stop. Interact with them the way you would normally when you see them. It is likely he/she won't address it face-to-face and feels safer doing it via email. Ignoring it at first will send the message that you are not interested.

amother

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 10:54 am

groisamomma wrote:

It really depends what the crime is! Ignoring is CRUEL.
You have a mouth, tell the person what you didn't like and won't accept. If he continues after you explained. Only then you can ignore.

amother

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 2:16 pm

amother wrote:

What's he /she writing that's inappropriate?

OP here. It's not the content that's problematic it's who it's coming from that's the issue. Since the content is okay I, as the previous amother, wonder if it's appropriate to ignore.

HindaRochel

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 2:23 pm

If it is because the person is of the opposite gender (and not work related) then just say that. "Thank you for your email, but I have a policy not to engage in friendships with men."

That's all.

If it isn't that, then can you be a bit more specific about why the person is the issue?

amother

Denim

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 2:53 pm

New poster with same dilemma. Ignore if/when it gets inappropriate or ignore from the start?

PAMOM

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:11 pm

Do you work with the person? Did he friend you on Facebook? Need more info. I just ignore anyone who friends me but I don't want to have that kind of connection to. I answer all emails from work people in a business-like manner if they are about work. Otherwise, I tell them (in person) that I try to limit email to work and emergency matters only.

amother

Denim

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:14 pm

PAMOM wrote:

Previously worked with the fellow. Email asking a general question but you never know how things evolve.

PAMOM

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:19 pm

Why not answer? How else could he reach you? It's good to maintain cordial relations in case you ever need a reference or end up working with him again. Be polite and formal. Is there something I'm missing? Does the question sound odd?

imasinger

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:22 pm

I have some concerns about self protection vs. rudeness.

One's own suspicions of inappropriate intent might be accurate. But they might be all wrong, too.

My suggestion is to post (or talk to someone you trust about) what was said and get input from others.

This topic is too vague at the moment to get the help that is wanted.

Second amother, if the first contact wasn't at all inappropriate, maybe you weren't wrong to wait and see? Or, was it a bit "off" from the beginning?

youngishbear

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:25 pm

A single general question from the opposite gender does not usually lead to mixed dancing. Wink

If it starts getting more specific and personal you can put a stop to it when it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I would probably dawdle and reply not so imediately, so not to give an eager impression.

Last edited by youngishbear on Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

tigerwife

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 3:49 pm

I don't see the issue in responding formally to a non-personal question. Of course, it really depends on the situation and type of person you are dealing with. If he's known to be a perv then I wouldn't respond.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:12 pm

amother wrote:

Previously worked with the fellow. Email asking a general question but you never know how things evolve.

In business it is expected to have cordial relationships and to network. It's not like he emailed to you have drinks then hit a motel and get nekkid together.

naturalmom5

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:22 pm

What community are you from
In Lakewood , good morning or walking past you on the same sidewalk is " inappropriate "

Yet staying home and sending dh to work is also frowned upon

Help !!!

Miri7

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:28 pm

amother wrote:

Previously worked with the fellow. Email asking a general question but you never know how things evolve.

If it's just this email, then it sounds fine to me to answer his general business question.

My answer would be different if there were more information - such as this guys is a known flirt, has done hints to make you uncomfortable in the past, etc.

I have many male business contacts with whom I have polite and cordial business relationships but wouldn't have personal email correspondence with.