dh smokes!!! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it

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Dh smokes!!! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it

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sourstix

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 7:49 pm

I have allergies and over the years it got worse, at this point I cough anything that has chemicals, like mouth wash and you guessed it my dh smoking. nothing in the world can stop him. I scream how I hate it and he says he also does but has no choice. hes so addicted. when things are stressful its even worse. no amount of explanation helps. he also convinced himself that he will live as many years as will be wether he smokes or not. hes seen documentaries and facts and percentages and what not. his doctor told him if he wants to see his kids married he has to stop! nothing works he got it figured out that many pp smoke for years and live till 70-80. so what. I am suffering and nothing helps. hes such a nice guy but this. is something that makes me so angry from time to time. tplease what can I do to take away the smell when he walks in at least to neutralize. I hate the smell its nauseating. I feel like crying one day if hashem is extra good he will not give dh lung cancer. I dont even want to see the statistics its just gonna make me mad and wont help. there is nothing I can say to make him stop. I need to find something in the market that will help. the regular sprays are bad for my allergies. I am really suffering its so bad. :( I love him so much but he doesnt realize he will suffer and so will his kids-forget about me. I will have to live whatever it means without him if something happens. I will be so depressed. it makes me cry when I think of it. okay I will stop its not helping to cry.

mille

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 8:13 pm

Maybe introduce him to the idea of e-cigarettes. Most of my family was able to quit this way. Apparently (I say this as someone who has never smoked in her life, so this is all second hand info) the important thing is to get the type that produces a water vapor so it has a similar mouth feel to a real cigarette. You can adjust the amount of pure nicotine in the e-cig, so you still get your 'fix', but it doesn't have a smell, no smoke, and it lacks the nasty stuff and tar from real cigarettes. This isn't to say they are totally safe, nicotine is not the greatest thing to have floating around in your brain. But if he has a hard time quitting with any other method, maybe this is something he should look at. Even if he can't wean off the nicotine with the e-cig, he can probably get down to a lower mg than now, and there will be no smoke so it won't bother you.

You don't need change anything, he needs to change. There are lots of options out there.

greenfire

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 9:25 pm

make sure he smokes outside ...

sourstix

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 9:26 pm

thanks for explaining the ecigarette. I will offer it. though for some reason I know dh is gonna come up with some excuse. its like I get my hope up when I come up with a solution but knowing him its probably 1perc chance to succeed. thats what I was so upset about together with the other stuff.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 9:38 pm

My DH smokes occasionally. Mainly as a stress relief when he comes home. I HATE it. I try not to voice it too much, but I will sometimes, like once I put on his sweatshirt and it stunk of smoke,and I told him about third hand smoking. Where someone chould ch'l get sick even from the smell of clothing and I know he has tried harder since.
Its also very upsetting for me because for me this was always a strong issue - I wouldn't marry someone who smokes. Because of where he smoked nobody who we asked info could have known. I found out when were engaged and he promised to stop because it really upset me. I think he tried but just couldn't and it makes me so sad and upset because I feel like I never signed up for this and the risks involved. (especially because we are watching a friend of ours suffering a very painful disease caused by years of smoking)
His doctor has very strongly encouraged him to try e-cigs. She didn't even say to quit - just to switch. I'm hoping he will.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:40 pm

wow, can't believe so many pple know about the e cigarettes. my brother in law stopped smoking regular cig and is now using e CIG. Theyre amazing! He's happy and so is his wife. I'm hoping he'll be able to convince my dh to start using it too. I think there's something called drop smoke which even comes with a hechsher. look it up, not sure of the details...
hugs and best of luck!

justforfun87

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 3:08 am

I just wanted to mention something about the e-cig. My husband also transfered his addiction from cig to e-cig. While it seems great, he smoks the e-cig ALL day long. Since there is no smoke, he will be giving baby a bath while puffing away at it. Ciggaretes you have to go outside while an E-cig can be done indoors. I have to confess that since it is around all day I have started to takes puffs of it. I will never buy my own but I am ashamed to admit that I crave it too. It is also as addicting as any cig. Since it is so new, they don't know the dangers of it. Just a thought.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 3:18 am

I love my eCig. I switched when DD was born, because I was determined not to smoke around her.

I have severe anxiety problems, and nicotine seems to be the only thing that calms me down. I'm not ready to give up my eCig, but I am so very grateful that I have that option for DD's sake.

V2Cigs offer very affordable starter packages, and they have a generous return policy if your DH doesn't like it. It can't hurt to try!

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 5:55 am

you say hes such a nice guy but for this. but with this he is very much not a nice guy. he sounds arrogant and since smoking bothers you so much he also sounds extremely selfish. you've had lot of practical advice from others above, so I think its just worth saying that this is ill-treatment of you. I would not put up with this. he says it's addictive so he can't stop? well what about your health (let alone his). horrible behavior.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 5:58 am

smoke too

Last edited by amother on Tue, Nov 22 2016, 3:21 am; edited 1 time in total

groovy1224

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 6:22 am

rr88 wrote:

I say, if my husband would be smoking I would tell, or you stop or I begin to smoke too

Yeah cuz why should OPs children have one healthy parent when they can have none? Great advice. Banging head

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 6:26 am

like really?!

Last edited by amother on Tue, Nov 22 2016, 3:22 am; edited 1 time in total

DrMom

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 7:31 am

Your husband needs to want to stop.

Perhaps if you sit down with him and have a serious discussion about first-hand smoke (the danger to him), second- and third-hand smoke (the danger to you and your family -- do you have children?). I don't know if any of this will work, since you have told us that he is in denial about the effects of smoking (e.g., he claims that because *some* smokers live to 70-80, smoking will not impact his health -- is he usually this illogical?).

And you need to refuse to be around him when he stinks of cigarette smoke. Is there a guest bedroom? Perhaps you can ask him to spend the night there when he smells smokey. Perhaps he will soon realize he can either have cigarettes or SB, but not both.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 7:45 am

DH hasn't tried the e-cig yet. His main issue with it is YT when he wouldn't be able to use it.... How do others work around that? I want to come to him with a ready solution.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 8:42 am

Ha! Dh would never believe that I would start.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 8:47 am

I have a friend whose dh smokes and all their kids have respiratory problems. I saw their report from a hospital stay and it was mentioned there as a contributing factor. He still won't stop. It drives me mad how irresponsible people can be.

sourstix

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 9:01 am

greeny I tried that. he still has a smell afterwards. he actually never ever smoked in the house. I have a terrible sensitivity and allergies.

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