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I do not say "no"

 
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amother






Post  Sun, Jun 03 2007, 8:03 pm
this is anon, because some people know where I stayed on shabbos..

So her children are well crazy...and it made my kids go a bit batty..

So she says to me...that kids acting out are just asking for attension, and she has noticed that if she does not say "no" that they are more respectful and do not say no back to her..

meanwhile in the back ground her boys are wrestling, and going CRAZY...She's just sitting there shruging.

I mean I admit to sometimes using the word no, but I always explain to my child why I am saying no in a calm and understanding tone.. when my daughter is having a fit, I calmly say when your ready to talk you can come out and talk to me.. So she calms herself and then comes out and we talk. For me it's just, yes they want attension but I am not going to give it to them until they speak respectfully towards me. But as a child, they need their pain to be acknowledged, so I always say first. "I love you, but you have to calm down and be respectful for me to listen to what the problem is."

She just ignores it, so I am not sure...oh well...just felt weird.
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Mimisinger




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jun 03 2007, 8:23 pm
Classic Example of not setting limits... What
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chocolate moose




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jun 03 2007, 8:23 pm
That is too bad. What is she waiting for?
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amother






Post  Sun, Jun 03 2007, 10:15 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
That is too bad. What is she waiting for?


To finally lose her nerve! I was super lenient like that. Then I finally went Bounce got Twisted Evil and now, hopefully, I am trying to find a happy medium....she might just get sick of it all and start to yell, then hopefully find a balance.
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tripletlyblessed




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 04 2007, 2:55 am
I use positive phrases with the girls and save "no" for dangerous situations (climbing on her toy car to get to the parrot's cage) or after repeated behavoirs (yanking off my glasses). IMO because they don't hear it all the time, "no" has more meaning.
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gryp




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 04 2007, 9:13 am
Maybe her kids always act that way, and what seems crazy to you, is normal for her.
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raizy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:33 pm
is it really the No that makes the kids banananas. or is it the mom who kh has alot more kids then when she only had 2 . and was the perfect mom. more patience time etc.

u can say no till tomorow but sometimes kids will listhen and sometimes they wont.

u can have wild kids with tame parents and tame kids with wild parents.

doesnt mean bc u have patience and are tame your kids will end up like that.

I know of such parents . the whole house can be turned over but she will never say "no" .
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amother






Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:36 pm
Oy, I do know all the people involved . . . .
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amother






Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:40 pm
you do?!?!?

How so??
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chocolate moose




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:47 pm
First Amother, so what do you want to do to help her?
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amother






Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:52 pm
original OP

Honestly, I just smiled and was there for her. I helped with the kids, tried to make things go as smoothly as possible.. Remembered why I avoided her house for so long.

Promised to try to come another time, but not sure if I would again, maybe for another year.
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chocolate moose




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:53 pm
That's not going to help HER, though, is it?
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amother






Post  Tue, Jun 05 2007, 9:56 pm
Her husband is amazing with the kids, and she has ALOT of kids. I wish I could help her more, but it affects my kids when we stay by her.

She has her way of doing things, and I have my way. I spoke with my masphia, and she told me that others have stated the same thing about this family. It makes it really difficult for people to visit them, but we all love this family very much.
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