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What age did you send child to childcare/daycare/school?
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BennysMommy




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 9:34 pm
My husband and I are having a debate as to what is the norm...at what age did you send your child to childcare/daycare/school etc?
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anon




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 9:46 pm
Are you a SAHM? Is the issue about whether or not you should work, or simply when is the ideal time to send him to school?
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shoy18




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 9:48 pm
DS went at 2
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chocolate moose




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 9:55 pm
It's different for a working mom. (Unless they have help in the house, if that's what you mean.)
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 10:06 pm
I sent my daughter at 26 months. I think two or two and a half (even better) is the right age.(although not every kid is ready!) they are ready for some fun, and dont mind being away from u for a couple hours. (I only send her for 2 hours this year and next year when shes three iyh shell go from nine till one.
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BennysMommy




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 11:29 pm
anon wrote:
Are you a SAHM? Is the issue about whether or not you should work, or simply when is the ideal time to send him to school?


I'm a WFMHWIWM (work from my home whenever I want mom)/SAHM. I want to keep him home as long as possible. My husband thinks sending him to a playgroup will help me by giving me more time and that my ds also needs to play with other kids. He's only 9 months! He sees other kids once in a while and plays with his cousins and/or aunts at least once a week. I don't think he needs to be exposed to germs and snot and all that yucky stuff until he's old enough to benefit from playing with other kids. (maybe 2- 2 1/2 in my opinion). I'm not putting down mothers that send younger, but if I don't have to, I don't want to and don't see a reason to.
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Twizzlers




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 11:45 pm
I think school is a bit much for a 9 month old. I send mine to a friend of mine who has a son about 6 months older than him, and watches another 1-2 children around the same age. this way, he's not in a school environment with all the gross stuff that comes along, but he gets interaction with other people his size.

OTOH, if you keep him home for too long, he will have social problems interacting with kids his age. Kids that never played with other children have major difficulties the first time they step into a classroom setting at 4 or 5 years old with 30 other kids. he's definitely gotta learn to be tuff around others that will take his stuff away etc.

maybe you can schedule some playdates for him. one day by you, another day by someone else.
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BennysMommy




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 11:57 pm
he plays with other kids every once in a while. and I'm not planning on keeping him home that long. when I said as long as I can I meant more like 2-3 yrs...
im thinking about arranging a mommy-and-me type thing but im so not the organizing type. I just know if I don't do it, no one will!
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Marion




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2007, 1:11 am
Very different for working moms. I had the "luxury" of not having a job to go back to after my maternity leave was up. It was a luxury of time that I got to spend with my son, but obviously it hurt in other ways! I started a new job when he was 8 months old, so that's when I put him in daycare. If I was able to, I would have been a SAHM until he started mandatory schooling (gan chova), but he definitely would have been in a playgroup of some kind at around a year/year and a half. (That could be only 2 mornings a week...)
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Jo




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2007, 8:31 am
I work part time - went back to work when DS was just 1 and he is in daycare on the days that I work.
He is 3 1/2 and starting in school nursery full time in Sept
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2007, 7:23 pm
I went at 3 for half day, 4 for all, mom didn't work.
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sarahd




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 7:21 am
9 month olds don't need to socialize with other children. In fact, even if they're in a group they don't socialize. My son is at a babysitter now and will start gan after the summer at age 3. Actually, though, he would have benefitted from being in a group setting for the past half-year or more.
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Marion




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 8:29 am
sarahd wrote:
9 month olds don't need to socialize with other children. In fact, even if they're in a group they don't socialize. My son is at a babysitter now and will start gan after the summer at age 3. Actually, though, he would have benefitted from being in a group setting for the past half-year or more.
They may not need to "socialize", but they DO benefit from being around other children. They learn to play nice, and they learn to share (yes, even 9 month olds!), they learn not to hit...there are many benefits. (I learned yesterday that at daycare my son eats his lunch with a fork and spoon...I didn't know he could do that, he certainly doesn't at home! So guess who's not eating dinner with his fingers anymore?)
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Pickle Lady




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 9:07 am
I think this all depends on culture. In my community its the norm to send your child to a daycare/playgroup by 18 months. This is even if the mother is a SAHM.

I personally think that is way to eary for many reasons. I kept both my sons home past 3 years old. My oldest son adjusted to school with no probelm at all, my second son is going to sept for the first time in Sept. and will be a little over 3 and I coudln't have thought of sending him to school any earlier. I think he benefited from being home with his mommy all this time.

I make many playdates for my kids and it isn't like they never played with other kids. I getogether with other SAHM at there house or the park. Also as I have more kids my kids have a built in playgroup and they are constantly interacting with other kids, thier siblings.
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gryp




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 10:22 am
I send my kids at age 3, no earlier.

My 3 year old could easily have stayed home another year, but I felt it was time for him to get used to being in a classroom setting.
My 21 month old has been ready for school for months now- he talks sentences, he runs by himself into the Yeshiva building to pick up his brother, I'm toilet-training him in a few weeks, but he'll have to wait another year.
My 6 month old is too early to tell, of course, but being that he crawls around and takes toys away from his older brothers, I doubt he'll have any problems adjusting IYH when the time comes.

Even if the child is "ready" to go off for half a day or more, I think a child needs to stay home until he has the basics of "how we live" ingrained in him. There is just no reason for me to send a child or rather, a baby, away that is more important than that.


Quote:
He's only 9 months! He sees other kids once in a while and plays with his cousins and/or aunts at least once a week. I don't think he needs to be exposed to germs and snot and all that yucky stuff until he's old enough to benefit from playing with other kids. (maybe 2- 2 1/2 in my opinion).

I agree with you completely.

Quote:
but they DO benefit from being around other children. They learn to play nice, and they learn to share (yes, even 9 month olds!), they learn not to hit...there are many benefits

Kids don't just learn these things automatically. There is someone there teaching this consistently if they are learning such things. If the teacher at the playgroup doesn't want to be consistent about teaching these things, doesn't feel like it suddenly, or is too busy, the kids aren't going to benefit like that.
When you have a large group of kids in the playgroup, it is more likely that your child will come home hitting and not sharing and with other bad habits.
I also believe that the things babies and toddlers learn at that age, ie, don't hit, how to share, how to eat with a fork, spoon, using a napkin, etc, should be taught by the parents, not by the babysitter.

Kids need to be around other people and other kids too, once in a while. Playdates, parks, going shopping with them, are all things I would choose over "forcing" him into a setting that has a bunch of other kids for X amount of hours a day.

Also, besides for this issue, I'm having trouble with what the "norm" means nowadays. We do what is best for our kids, not what the "norm" is. This applies to so many things today in Chinuch, it's very frustrating. There just can't be one black and white, cut and dry system for every single kid to fit into. Kids are bound to fall by the wayside, and they do. Confused
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Seraph




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 10:39 am
Its funny you brought up this topic, because I just had a debate on this topic with an unmarried friend of mine...

I am a SAH wife right now, planning on being a SAHM. I don't plan on sending my kids to school until at least age 3. I plan on sending my boys, iy'h to cheder at age 3, and girls maybe at age 4, maybe at age 5.
Children are such impressionable little things, that unless you can ensure that the kid will be getting the best attention, best influences, best chinuch etc, I'd rather keep them at home as long as possible. (Especially because I feel very strongly about certain topics and want to make sure my kids learn OUR derech and not some misguided teachers derech who thinks comforting a child who fell is going to spoil him...)
Regarding learning to share- firstly, if there are siblings, they learn to share from them. And just because someone doesn't go to school doesn't mean they don't have play dates. And that they don't learn.
My sister only went to school starting Pre-K, and she adjusted just fine.
Boys I'd start at 3 in cheder because its gil chinuch, and I think a son should learn from a rebbe from a young age, but even so, I plan on making sure that the teachers there are great with kids, etc...

My husband, on the other hand, wants to homeschool, so in his opinion, we should keep our kids at home until yeshiva... (Not happening...)
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Sparkle




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 12:52 pm
Breslov, it's nice to plan - I did too, but to answer the OP: I think it has to do with the personality of your child. I started sending DS out for 2 hours a day when he was 9 months old even though I hadn't planned on it. He is a very active, intense child and needed a)to socialize with other kids in a structured setting and b)greatly benifited being away from Mommy for a bit.
My second DS is turning 2 in a couple months and is in NO WAY ready for any sort of playtime away from Mommy (or anything away from Mommy Smile) He is very happy playing with his toys and home and following me around. I have someone come to the house the few hours that I need to work.
I think sending any kids under 3-3 1/2 has to do with the type of child you have.
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shayna82




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 12:58 pm
I send when they are 3 also. although I have only one so far in school. My second also seems like he is ready, but I will probably just send him when hes three. he will have baby iyh at home to play with , and ill do play dates with him. but nowadays the number of kids who are still under 3 and at home, are dwindling shock
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Mitzvahmom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 1:01 pm
I definately think it's important that the child can defend him/her self before going to school..

I.e. can put his hand up to stop a child from trying to bite him, use his words nicely.

I had to putmy kids in daycare at young ages, I was always so frustrated whenI would come in and hear "oopsy someone bit him on the cheek/finger..etc."
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2007, 1:29 pm
babies dont need to play with other babies untill two and a half, before that YES its NICE but they want thier MOMMIES there two! if they would have a chpoice mommy or friend id bet theyd pick mom..... So I think u are right, a nine month old does not need a playgroup! gosh u know it used to be it was the norm to send a child to school at three. NOW, people wonder why some 18 month olds arent in school yet!!!! Rolling Eyes
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