Cutting out night feeds for a hungry baby at night is cruel!

amother

Salmon

Sun, May 31 2015, 3:12 pm

This is reaction to a comment I see written all the time that goes something like this:

"At this age 6-12-18-24months or whatever, the child doesn't need food at night anymore and is waking up only for comfort, time to cut out the nighttime feeds."

How does anyone truly know this is true? My 5 yr old still wakes up at night crying her tummy hurts cause she's sooo hungry. I give her some cereal and she goes back to bed.
Lucky I never ignored her at night as a baby and fed her on demand.

To cut out nightime feeds for a child with quick metabolism who gets really hungry at night is just cruel. Especially if you do it before a child is old enough to say im hungry.

I know not every kid is like this but how do you know if your baby will be one of these types?
I certainly had no clue until she was much older.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, May 31 2015, 3:16 pm

I can't speak for everyone, but generally the idea is that you feed them very well before bed. Enough that is recommended for a normal child that age to get full from. Then you know that they had enough to keep them satisfied till the morning.
I personally think 6 months is a bit young for that however much you feel them, but I do believe in the idea in general.

Also, I do know kids with quick metabolisms but what your daughter does is really not normative behavior. I'm not saying that in a bad way, I just don't think you should judge from her. I think you should ask the dr if there's something wrong, or make sure she's more full at night. It's really odd for a 5 year old to awaken every night from hunger.

amother

Salmon

Sun, May 31 2015, 3:27 pm

Op
She doesn't wake up unless she's hungry and its not every night. Its randomly. But to say no you cant eat even though you are hungry because a kid your age is supposed to sleep straight, is cruel.
Sleep training is not necessary. Perhaps if she ate more during the day she wouldn't be like this but she doesn't and this is who she is.
Thats my point. Every kid is unique and needs to parented uniquely. Parenting kids based on what is average and not based on your unique childs needs, bothers me a lot. Every kid is different and should be treated that way.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, May 31 2015, 3:47 pm

Sorry, OP, I think you are the one being inappropriate here. Calling someone else cruel when you don't know anything about them? Sorry, I think this reflects back on you.

A typical 5 year old should not be waking up hungry at night.. Maybe you are not giving her a filling supper.

A baby (not talking about newborn stage) needs a certain amount of oz during a 24hr period and if that is filled during the day , then they are waking at night due to habit, not neccesity.

imasinger

Sun, May 31 2015, 4:06 pm

I totally agree with royalblue.

There also seems to be significant evidence that depriving children of the ability to self soothe and to get a full night's sleep is detrimental.

Teaching them (once they are at least 6 months) to have a period of not eating at night is valuable.

And judging or calling names to a mother who makes different parenting choices than you is really not nice or helpful.

I don't judge either side, because both may be right for their own situation.

But can we please, please stop the mommy wars?

amother

Salmon

Sun, May 31 2015, 4:58 pm

PAMOM wrote:

OP, have you tried leaving some crackers within arms reach of her bed? At 5, she should be able to take care of opening a bag and eating what she wants.

I wasn't complaining about feeding her at night. She can get her own cereal if needed and usually she wakes up before midnight so im still up anyway.
My point was just that its ok for a child to be legitimately hungry at night. Especially when going through a growth spurt or if they didn't eat enough that day.

I feel like nowadays people think children are mass produced to be identical and if a child is unique there must be something wrong with them.

My point is to be in tune with the needs of your child. Just because everyone else's child doesn't need to eat at night at age whatever doesn't mean your child will be identical. Dont listen to anyone who will tell you that its impossible for your child to be hungry if they ate xyz ounces that day. Look at your child and decide for yourself.

Learn the difference between a hunger cry and a I need comfort cry, and a im in pain cry.
When in doubt go with your intuition, not a book.

Raisin

Sun, May 31 2015, 5:26 pm

maybe your daughter is still waking up at 11pm to eat because you never taught her to sleep through the night. I think it is cruel to set your child up for a lifetime of unhealthy eating and sleeping habits.

imaima

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 2:17 am

amother wrote:

Astronomic clock is not unique though, and for the sake of a child growing up to be a functional adult, you need to teach them that night is for sleeping and daytime is for eating.
Your unique child can be trained. Try withholding cereal a couple of nights and voila, she will learn her lesson and eat bezter during the day.
I had a child like that, and sometimes she mumbled cereal in the middle of the night without even waking up, so I just put her right back to bed and she fell asleep again.
You are perpetuating this by giving in.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 2:28 am

imaima wrote:

Astronomic clock...

I don't think astronomic(al) clock means what you think it means. "An astronomical clock is a clock with special mechanisms and dials to display astronomical information, such as the relative positions of the sun, moon, zodiacal constellations, and sometimes major planets." From Wiki

Now back to your regular programing.

imaima

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 3:06 am

MagentaYenta wrote:

so what is it that I mean? embarrassed

wife613

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 4:30 am

At a baby stage I think it a) depends what you classify as a whole night. If my 15 month old sleeps from 10-5:30 I call that a good nights sleep, she sometimes wakes up because shes thirsty, so I give her a drink and she goes straight back to sleep. b) it also really really depends on how big the child is, the smaller the baby is the more likely its going to want more frequent small feeds, because their stomach isnt big enough to hold more.

amother

Beige

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 5:17 am

For me , it was more cruel when I did give in to every cry and feed .
For a year I hardly slept and when I actually did agree to sleep train ( my dh kicked me out the house to sleep train) I realized that a baby needs to sleep and so does the mother, some babies need to be taught , as in my case... I became a much better mother when my baby " learnt" to sleep, so I don't see it as being cruel, a happy mother can make a happy baby, and being " cruel" actually turned out making everyone in my house happier people Wink

imasinger

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 6:28 am

imaima wrote:

so what is it that I mean? embarrassed

I already said my piece on this thread, but as a sesquipedalian, I can't help but respond again, just to this question.

I think you meant "gastronomical", relating to matters of the stomach. Smile

pause

Mon, Jun 01 2015, 9:14 am

Exclusively breastfed babies need to nurse at night, no matter what their age. Breastmilk gets digested very fast, and yes, they are legitimately hungry.

To the poster who mentioned getting a certain amount of ounces over 24 hours and giving it all during day, I say to you: Would you want to eat breakfast, lunch, and supper within a span of five hours to cover your day? You need 1500 calories or so, so stuff it all in? It just doesn't work this way. After a certain amount of hours after a meal, a body is hungry, especially if that food is easily digested like breastmilk (and to a lesser extent forumula).

Once a baby is on solids, that's an altogether different story.