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Different parenting styles & loss of friendship



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amother


 

Post Mon, Jun 25 2007, 9:04 pm
Did you ever experience a change in your relationship with a good friend due to different parenting styles. I'm not necessarily even speaking about natural parenting vs. "regular" parenting. For example, you are very strict with your kids and your friend lets hers run amuck.
If you need more clarification to what I'm asking, I'll give it.
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Piper




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 25 2007, 9:08 pm
yup.
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lubcoralsprings




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 25 2007, 9:10 pm
I haven't, but I have two friends that have. Basically two of my friends kids got in a fight on the bus and neither wanted to take fault. As a third party it is obvious to me who was at fault and I think that parent should have taken responsibilty, but she didn't. The two friends decided that they would get together away from their kids. The good news is that they are still friends and hang out and the bad news is they can't eat shabbos meals together because their kids don't get along.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jun 25 2007, 9:13 pm
My friend is super obsessed about her son's schedule and it drives me totally insane. She has him scheduled to the minute with NO LEWAY. ARRRGGGHHH.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 25 2007, 10:52 pm
when my friends get married, I'll tell you....lol
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anon




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 26 2007, 12:22 am
It doesn't ruin the friendship, but it definitely makes dh and I roll our eyes.
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 26 2007, 1:29 am
amother wrote:
Did you ever experience a change in your relationship with a good friend due to different parenting styles. I'm not necessarily even speaking about natural parenting vs. "regular" parenting. For example, you are very strict with your kids and your friend lets hers run amuck.
If you need more clarification to what I'm asking, I'll give it.


you start by nonjudgementally saying parenting styles can be merely 'different,' but when you give the example of a more liberal style of parenting you use the negatively judgemental term of 'running amok'
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jun 26 2007, 3:50 pm
Oh please Mumoo. Let's not pick bones where there are none to pick and stay on topic. Rolling Eyes
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 27 2007, 11:11 am
I would like more clarification b/c you obviously have something specific in mind. However, I fail to see why someone else's parenting style should casuse a falling out UNLESS:

1. Her permissiveness means she doesn't let me enforce my own house rules and her kids destroy my house when they visit; or

2. She criticizes (as opposed to disagrees with) my parenting style; or

3. She "corrects" my kids in my house more than once; or

3. Her parenting style makes her completely unavailable to me as a friend;(by which I mean that she's emotionally absent or that she has zero time for or interest in me, not that we can only talk in snitches and snatches between feeding the kids and breaking up fights); or

4. All our interactions revolve around her children's "needs" and convenience to the exclusion of any consideration of my and my children's needs and convenience; or

5. Her "parenting style"--I.e. neglect or irresponsibility--negatively affects my family (similar to #1 but not necessarily in my house, e.g. she lets her children throw rocks where my children are playing, or she allows her teens to play loud music at night and it disturbs us.)

Absent any of these rather extreme conditions, a friend's parenting style should not affect our friendship any more than any other element of her lifestyle.
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Imhappy!




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 27 2007, 11:31 am
yes I have that happen to me... I think its also a combo with each one married to a different person so our lifestlyes change...
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