A moral dilemma to fast or not to fast?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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WWYD Would you fast or not

Of course I'd fast, its 17th of Tammuz

12%

[ 5 ]

No I wouldn't if the Rav didn't say I have to.

87%

[ 34 ]

Total Votes : 39

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:06 am

WWYD? I asked our Rav abt fasting tomorrow... (I'm at the end of my 9th month) His answer was if you don't want to/ aren't feeling well, you don't have to, if you want to/ get things going (ie go into labor tomorrow) so fast. Not much of an answer if you ask me, and I'm rather torn. Confused

1) Why would I WANT to fast? (not to sound like an apikores, but aside from the fact that tomorrow starts such a horrible time in Jewish history, who ever wants to feel weak and ughy?)

2) I've really had it with being preg.

So.... WWYD and WHY?

shalhevet

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:10 am

Medically it's not a good idea to go into labour fasting, since you need your strength. Of course YK and TB are different if a rav says to fast. And I don't know ruchnius wise if it's so great to fast to jump-start labour - not exactly lishma (not that there's anything wrong with fasting for the wrong reasons for someone who should fast).

Having said that I have a dd born a few hours after YK. I fasted the whole fast even though I got contractions in the afternoon, and it was by far my quickest and easiest labour.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:54 am

I was always told by my husband's rebbe that a pregnant women is not allowed to fast (aside from tb and yk)- so I can't help you with that, but I could tell you that before I asked I once fasted while I was pregnant, I got contractions, but did not stop fasting and it took my body about two weeks to feel better and normalize after having all those contractions. I felt horrible.

ceo

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 12:01 pm

amother wrote:

Well, first off, I agree with you that it's not much of an answer.
I would not fast. It can be very dangerous for the baby. Now, obviously, if it's 9 of Av or Y"K, then it's a must.

I have a friend who was at the end of her ninth month at 17 of Tammuz. The Rav said, "you should fast, because you're anyway due now, so it doesn't matter if you go into labor." Rolling Eyes

The baby was had serious heartrate /distress problems and they had to do an emergency c-section. BH everything was okay, but it's not a good idea to fast unless it's a necessity.

yOungM0mmy

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 12:25 pm

I'm only in 5th month, but I'm not fasting so my body can save my energy for 9 Av.
If your due date is not before 9 Av, I wouldnt do this one, so that I can do the next one slightly easier.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 12:26 pm

each person obviously has to refer to their rav...

here's what ours said if it helps:

pregnant and nursing women are not obligated to fast on the 'minor' fast days. we asked one time, and were told that we need not ask again for minor fasts, in those two states (of preg/nur).

in terms of Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur, they are unless--just like anyone else--there is a major health problem in which case--we once had to ask for me during a pregnancy for both TBA and YK when I had a major problem if I didn't eat/drink properly and between the doctor and the rav it was decided that I was to eat and drink 1 oz of food, 1 oz of liquid every nine minutes...in order to maintain the status of fasting. now I did it, and trust me it pretty much still felt like fasting, and I still needed help with my kids.

that's the whole point of calling the rabbi. you know yourself, and if it would truly cause you a big health problem--then you should ask! and be sure to be clear. sometimes people call and are sort of wishy washy because they feel guilty or whatever, but rabbis need to hear clear facts and firm feelings to help you make the decision that is best for you.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 1:02 pm

I'm in my 5th month. My Rav said I do not need to fast tomorrow. I have no plans on trying to. I'll limit what I need and not indulge. (That means no candy bar!) On TB he said I should start the fast but the moement I feel I need something I should break the fast without feeling guilty. It will be wierd not fasting on TB, but I already passed out once this summer from dehydration and I do not want to do anything that will CVS endanger the baby.

greenfire

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 1:52 pm

the year my first dd was born I was having so much trouble fasting and the baby was screaming and I got sick ... the rov said to break the fast - it was tisha bav ... never knew you could ... I felt weird but had 1 meal and felt better and just fasted the rest of the afternoon ...

shayna82

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 2:02 pm

im due in two weeks and im not planning on fasting. I get dizzy when not eating or drinking, and its a sakana at this point for me.

CAYA

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 2:23 pm

Even if I'm not preg I dont fast, my dh thinks fasting is not for women, I feel weird not fasting cuz as a girl my father was very strict with it, and since I'm married I only fast y'k and tb.

southernbubby

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 2:24 pm

While a pregnant woman who is nearing birth is not obligated to fast for 17th of Tammuz, there are choices besides fasting and not fasting. A person could fast until chatzos, or only take liquids according to the shiur Halacha. This is an amount less than an ounce every nine minutes. Someone could also give tzedukah in the amount that they would normally spend on food for the day. Some people wake up early and eat but at this time of year that may be 3 A.M.
Also some family customs prohibit pregnant and nursing mothers to fast other than Yom Kippur and Tisha B' Av. I know many women who married into such families and their husbands do not allow them to fast.

chocolate moose

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 3:03 pm

southernbubby wrote:

there are choices besides fasting and not fasting. A person could fast until chatzos, or only take liquids according to the shiur Halacha. This is an amount less than an ounce every nine minutes.

I have reasons why I can't fast at all, and I begged the rov to let me fast until chatzos or some such, but he said no, if you don't fast, you don't fast.

shalhevet

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 3:13 pm

CAYA wrote:

Even if I'm not preg I dont fast, my dh thinks fasting is not for women, I feel weird not fasting cuz as a girl my father was very strict with it, and since I'm married I only fast y'k and tb.

Is your dh a posek? If not maybe you should ask a rov, because this is against halacha. (You could mention to the rov how dh feels if you think there is a shalom bayis issue involved.)

southernbubby wrote:

Also some family customs prohibit pregnant and nursing mothers to fast other than Yom Kippur and Tisha B' Av. I know many women who married into such families and their husbands do not allow them to fast.

It is not a 'family custom'. Many poskim rule this way.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 3:23 pm

shalhevet wrote:

CAYA wrote:

Even if I'm not preg I dont fast, my dh thinks fasting is not for women, I feel weird not fasting cuz as a girl my father was very strict with it, and since I'm married I only fast y'k and tb.

Is your dh a posek? If not maybe you should ask a rov, because this is against halacha. (You could mention to the rov how dh feels if you think there is a shalom bayis issue involved.)

This is not against halacha. This is a certain shita. My dh also doesn't let me fast besides for YK and T"b. He says a mother with little kids needs koyach to take care of her kids. This is not just the way he 'feels', he takes it from somewhere (dont remember where).
He definitely lets my girls fast.

shalhevet

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 3:37 pm

amother wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

CAYA wrote:

Even if I'm not preg I dont fast, my dh thinks fasting is not for women, I feel weird not fasting cuz as a girl my father was very strict with it, and since I'm married I only fast y'k and tb.

Is your dh a posek? If not maybe you should ask a rov, because this is against halacha. (You could mention to the rov how dh feels if you think there is a shalom bayis issue involved.)

There is no difference in the halachos of fasting between (non-pregnant, non-nursing) women and men. Please ask your rav rather than going according to what your husband says (with the note above if it's going to cause a Shalom Bayis issue). Women are equally obligated in all issurim (negative prohibitions) whether from the Torah or midrobonon.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 9:40 pm

ceo wrote:

Well, first off, I agree with you that it's not much of an answer.
I would not fast. It can be very dangerous for the baby. Now, obviously, if it's 9 of Av or Y"K, then it's a must.

this statement is a bit contradictory cuz if it was really dangerous for the baby then you wouldn't have to fast tisha b'av or yom kippur either and I know of people who were told not to fast at those fasts either because for them or their baby it was dangerous but as a rule its not dangerous.

ceo wrote:

I have a friend who was at the end of her ninth month at 17 of Tammuz. The Rav said, "you should fast, because you're anyway due now, so it doesn't matter if you go into labor." Rolling Eyes

The baby was had serious heartrate /distress problems and they had to do an emergency c-section. BH everything was okay, but it's not a good idea to fast unless it's a necessity.

I had this exact situation without fasting I had normal meals was a regular day and my baby went into distress without any reason suddenly I had been by the Dr. 2 days earlier for an non stress test due to false labor and all was fine and then was at the dr. again 2 days later cuz she wanted to see where I was up to and the baby was in distress (a nes in and of itself that she wanted me to come check again cuz otherwise I wouldnt have noticed a thing till it was too late) and I was on oxygen for the entire labor and they barely had teh baby heartbeat and were prepping me for c-section when I felt the urge to push and in 2 pushes pushed the baby out and then he was fine b"h. So a baby can go into distress at any time not nec. due to fasting although again if the other conditions are there it can aggravate it.

So after all is said and done the real way to determine for each person is to consult with their dr. and then their rav as to what is correct for them. However a pregnant person that does fast MUST drink tons the day before and stay indoors on a fast day in a comfortable place and I was once suggested to even drink one of those power drinks to boost my whatever levels the day before and I must say I think it helped except that I hated the taste of the powerade.

And just to point out, there are babies born the day after yom kippur and tb and babies born every day after that for the rest of both tishrei and av so fasting is not a sure guarantee to go into labor but it can bring it on if the conditions are ripe for it whether its at your due time or any other time of pregnancy if your body has other issues (weak, low fluid levels to begin with etc etc.)