should I tell them I'm pregnant?

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:35 am

I was just offered a teaching position in a school. I would like to take the job. However I'm pregnant, and still in the beginning. I will probably start wearing maternity around the beginning of school.
Am I supposed to let them know now that I'm pregnant? Then they may not hire me. I'm due IY"H in February.
WHAT SHOULD I DO???

shalhevet

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:39 am

I don't think you have to tell them.

Especially if it's a frum school, and even if it's not, they know they are hiring a young, married woman and know that's a chance they're taking. What if you had got pregnant next month? You still would not have finished the school year. I don't think employers expect women at the beginning of a pregnancy to tell them. It's not as if you are working for six weeks and then will leave.

normama

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 11:59 am

don't tell. for sure if you think they may not hire you, dont' tell.
from a legal perspective you do NOT have to disclose that info.
if you think they won't hire you b/c you're preggo, that's illegal.
so you could sue and they should know that.

EsaEinai

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 12:44 pm

Are you interested in going back to work after you have the baby? Or once the baby comes in February iyH will you be done for the year? If you're planning to go back to work after a short maternity leave, I don't see why you would have to tell them. Plenty of teachers have to stop teaching for a bit so they can have and take care of their own children, and thats perfectly acceptable. If you know that you definitely don't want to work for the rest of the year once the baby comes, thats another story. It may be a little misleading to accept a job knowing that you only intend to work half a year. I hope Hashem gives you a lot of clarity.

chanachava

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 12:45 pm

I would not tell. I was expecting during different times in my teaching career and sometimes it was an issue and most of the time it wasn't. In our lifestyle married women teaching and having babies is to be expected and rejoiced in (sorry, not such great English and excuse the pun!) At this point, it is no one's business except the people you want to know and the less the better. Beshaah tova and feel good.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 1:33 pm

I do plan to go back after the baby is born.
However, being that it is a new school, and the fact that I don't say anything, and then all of a sudden it comes the first day of school and I'm wearing maternity.
If you were the principal, wouldn't you look at me questioningly on that first day? Or look negatively right away out of anger that I didn't warn you that I'll be taking a leave in a couple of months?

cdawnr

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 1:43 pm

I think that you should tell them but assure them that your attention is to teach after a normal maternity leave. If they are a frum school it is quite normal.

I think that when you walk in first day in maternity they will wonder at your lack of disclosure and feel a certain lack of trust in you, and what are you going to say..."oops, didn't I mention this to you?"

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 1:51 pm

I have interviewed for positions when not pregnant, and then begun the programs pregant (Interviewed for a Sept position in April, etc). Anyway, with one pregnancy I was working for a non-jewish organization and they gave me the hardest time. They didn't trust me that I would return after maternity leave...it was terrible. Anything that came up they automatically attributed to my pregnancy.

Needless to say the next time this happened I was quite nervous to tell my employers that I was expecting. The second time around I was teaching in a frum school, and I was so hesitant and apologetic about being pregnant because of my previous experience with my last job that the principal repeatedly wish me bshaa tova dn mazal tov and I think felt she had to reassure me so much becasue she was worried that I was hesitant about the pregnancy. They were so supportive when I took off for maternity leave and the lesson planning/substittue planning was something in the back of my head from the outset of the year so I was able to really set up my class properly for my leave. I think if it is a frum school they know to expect this and will be fine...the honest thing to do is to tell them...however, if not a frum school I would be a bit more hesitant (but that is just because of my own personal experience)

peach

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 4:49 pm

You definitely dont have to feel obligated to tell them now if its not the time you normally would tell. I do understand why you would feel funny walking in with maternity on the first day of school.

How about calling up the principal about a week before school starts (when you will obviously be ready to tell as wearing or about to wear maternity) and tell her:
"I'm really excited about the new school year and I'm looking forward to a great year. I just wanted to mention to you that I am expecting, as I thought I should tell you personally. BTW I will be returning after a regular maternity leave and hopefully everything should work out very smoothly".

Nicole

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 8:02 pm

mommynys- I think that that's the best idea. Keep in mind- whoever said it is right- it's completely illegal not to hire s/o bec they're pregnant. This way, (so long as you've already signed a contract) they can't fire you, BUT you're letting them know so that they're not surprised when you walk in on day 1.

amother

Mon, Jul 02 2007, 9:51 pm

Update:

Thanks sooo much everyone for your input, I've been going back & forth the whole day trying to figure out what to do.
This is what happened.
SHe called me back (I tried her earlier today & didn't get through) & I told her I was ready to come meet with her for the position. She told me that they were pretty much interested in me, and were ready to hire.
Then I let her know. I told her it wasn't yet public knowledge, but that I feel it's my duty to let her know.....
She said B'sha'ah Tovah, and no problem. She said when we hire any teacher, we sort of expect that they will be taking off sometime for some reason, and that's why they always have subs available.
B"H I have a meeting tomorrow, and I hope all goes well.

Thanks again everyone!