Ouch... We can handle this, right?

Bitachon101

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 10:12 am

That point where you have $200 left in the bank account, when you have to write checks for ur kids morahs for $600, have to pay $150 in bills due that day, have to pay rent that day too so thank G-d you are getting a pay check that day and dropping it straight off at ur landlord cuz its just about the same amount minus a few dollars, and u thank G-d have a small savings account to bail u out even thought that money was untouchable cuz it was needed and being saved for something and its the second time in 3 months that ur pulling money out cuz you have no other source to pull from....
And u know that Hashem holds the key to parnassah so why are u worried anyway about how in heaven you will pay for anything this month.

Gulp.

OK, I gotta find humor... Someone help me think of something funny to say!!!

littleprincess

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 10:17 am

I admire you!! You're very positive. Stay this way and you'll see Hashem has his special ways of giving us whatever we need. I see it so many times...

shooting star

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 11:24 am

Your heavenly bank account must be overflowing with riches Very Happy

Bitachon101

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 12:46 pm

Thanks little princess... I'm not so positive but trying to turn that sickening feeling in my gut into a happy giddy feeling so I don't wallow in depression!
When ur not sure whether to laugh or cry... At least laughing makes u feel a little better. But I'm having a hard time seeing the humor. Though if I try hard enough I just might... Wink

Shooting star... From ur mouth to G-ds ears!
I must be a millionaire. Lol.

littleprincess

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 1:02 pm

It's very hard to stay positive and smile and laugh through hardship but from my experience : when you smile from the outside, especially when ur between others, you automatically feel good inside. It might not change the situation, but definitely changes ur mood.
Wishing you a lot of hatzloche

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 1:25 pm

Know that youre not the only one. Hugs!!

musicmom

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 2:01 pm

Things sometimes change quickly. Hopefully yours will be for the best!

aqua1

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 2:05 pm

OP, you're username says it all! Stay strong!!

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 2:10 pm

OMG I'm totally feeling in the same situation this minute! We will get through it!

Bitachon101

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 9:33 pm

Well well well I needed humor, I got humor... U know how they say when it rains it pours?
I had some totally retardedly crazy ridiculous things happen at work today. By 5pm instead of crying I just sat in my desk and starting laughing.
My boss just stared at me like I fell off the moon. (Hey, maybe I did!)

I got my laugh, felt a little better, and then when I got in the car the music playing on Kol bramah was כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד ... גם זו לטובה!

And I was like " OK Hashem! I get it! I hear you! Its all for the best! I haven't the slightest clue why or how and how I'm gonna manage and how I'm gonna deal with the disasters that work left me with but yes, I get it, its all for the best!"

And then I got depressed.

Go figure. When I finally say gam zu letovah, I get depressed.
I felt hopeless. Helpless. And yet simultaneously realized Im not in control so I shouldn't be depressed about it.

I came home and gave my little guys as much mommy time and love as I could cuz at least I have them and why should they suffer too. And now I'm feeling so beyond helpless I seriously want to go under covers and pretend its all dreams and tomorrow I'll wake up from bad dream.
Gosh, if that happens I'm gonna really laugh and double check to see if I really posted here today.

And the craziest part... Is when I davened today I thought I'd be pouring my heart out to Hashem, but instead my distracted head couldn't even focus on the words I was saying and it was barely a davening! What's wrong with me peeps??

Ice cream anybody???

Bitachon101

Wed, Nov 04 2015, 9:45 pm

So really cool, my dh had a $100 gift card which we pulled out to use to pay for some necessities cuz we gotta pay with something. Gave us a tiny sigh of relief.

And then, really not cool, only $30 into the gift card and he lost it.

No problem.
Just sayin.

Calm. Cool. Collected.
Gam zeh letovah.
I may as well give a bracha to all u amothers that Hashem should send yeshuos and bracha to u in whatever way you need, cuz I feel like im getting so wiped clean with kaparos I may as well try to wish good on all before I blemish my slate again.

Wink

fashgurl

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 9:08 am

Amen! You have an amazing attitude, and sometimes humour is all that pulls us through, and stops us from completely breaking apart.

You will get through this iy'H and then look back one day and smile.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 9:29 am

I'm pretty much there too now. Just keep calm and paint your toenails or something, ok? Go look at pictures of beagle puppies online. That makes anyone feel better.