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Cant stand seforim everywhere!!!!
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amother
Wine


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 6:51 am
I know that I grew up being taught that a seforim shrank should be the first thing you see when you walk into a Jewish home as opposed to a nice piece of furniture with decor blah blah blah...
But I KA"H have a family of boys and a DH who learn at the dining room table and leave piles of seforim all over (not to mention their hats and tefillin bags) ...I cant stand it! And the seforim book case is also an eyesore in my eyes...if the seforim are not in the right place it all looks like one big mess....I am no way a neat freak but for some reason seforim get on my nerves. WHY???? I like what the seforim have to offer but I cant stand the way they look! Just venting...
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:01 am
Have you mentioned this to DH and asked him to put them away when he's done, and to make some sort of seder in the seforim shrank so it looks more organized?
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:06 am
My sister has a bunch of boys and had the same "problem". She bought an open cupboard with shelves, placed it by the front door of her house and drove her kids crazy until they started to put their Tefillin bags on the shelves, she also put up hooks for the hats and a shoe closet for the shoes.

Regarding the Seforim, I suggest compromise and use a coffee table or the likes and move them to that location or drive them nuts until they leave them in that one place you've designated.
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STovah




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:07 am
Do you have space in your dining room for something like this:
http://tinyurl.com/jb4cjv5

You can park the miscellaneous sefarim there until they are put away in their proper places.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:13 am
I've mentioned it many times...I put the seforim away daily....my husband learns very early in the AM on the phone with his chavrusah and as soon as he hangs up, grabs his tefillin and runs to catch his minyan...since they are all rushed ...shachris , mincha , maariv , night seder, early morning learning etc...they tend to not have "the time" to put things away where they belong...and because of that when they get home late everything is dumped on the table. I purchased a nice hook, shelf thingie a few weeks ago...it lasted for 3 days ....the only other times they put their stuff away is Erev Shabbos and I wont mention that every chair in the dining room has a suit jacket and a winter jacket hanging over the backs...it's really frusterating...it looks like a "kollel" in my dining room. When I mentioned that to my DH he said "Rav Avigdor Miller said raising boys is like having a yeshiva"...
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:20 am
There are so many people who wish they could have the same problem, but their husbands never crack open a Sefer. I am grateful for the Seforim that dh leaves around my house.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 7:26 am
the world's best mom wrote:
There are so many people who wish they could have the same problem, but their husbands never crack open a Sefer. I am grateful for the Seforim that dh leaves around my house.


I knew someone will comment like this...I'm grateful for the learning not the mess!
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 8:02 am
Sounds just like my house. Except my boys are still little so for now it's just my husband. Makes me crazy!
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amother
Amber


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 8:42 am
I used to have seforim all over. DH went OTD over the last couple of years. I do not have any less mess in my house. Nature abhors a vacuum and every available space can get messy. I wish my mess were made of seforim. Now my seforim shelves are very neat... much like a fresh tombstone.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 8:51 am
amother wrote:
I used to have seforim all over. DH went OTD over the last couple of years. I do not have any less mess in my house. Nature abhors a vacuum and every available space can get messy. I wish my mess were made of seforim. Now my seforim shelves are very neat... much like a fresh tombstone.


Sorry for that...my own father went OTD and my mother let me DH choose whatever seforim she had sitting there...so I hear you...I just have to constantly put it all away literally EVERY day and I find it annoying...I understand where you are coming from though
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Fri, Jan 01 2016, 11:05 am
I'm not so sure it's the seforim that you can't stand. It's the fact that the room is always cluttered.
Just for the fun of it.... If you would be able to choose what is thrown around in that room, what would you enjoy seeing there?
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 4:10 am
Be careful what you wish for. I'm soooo jealous (and that's not good either I know)
Otoh.. . Just don't put then away. Not much if they're getting them all out again a a few hours. I they find it hard to find the books they might start doing it themselves.

But seriously the best way would be to reinterpret the mess as something positive . You can't really change then but you can change you.
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5mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 8:36 am
Put the hats and seforim on their beds.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 8:44 am
If it won't be seforim it will be something else. Don't look at it as seforim rather as the fact that they do not put things away. A few years ago, I felt like all the seforim on the DR table were irking me. I decided I dont want seforim to bother me. Every time I see the seforim on the table, I think "This is my crown of glory" this is what I want my house to look like, A place where seforim is used and appreciated. Every time I put it away I thank Hashem that I have the zechus of doing this.
If your house is full of seforim then you obviously value the learning so learn to reframe the way you see the mess.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 11:21 am
Uch that is so hard!! My dh is also like that, plus buying seforim and we have no room for them. That being said, Mrs Landau, a home ec teacher in b.y.monsey, taught me something that I repeat to myself daily- "toys and seforim are not a mess."
And I tell myself I am so grateful for the people they represent!!! It works most of the time!
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 6:54 pm
STovah wrote:
Do you have space in your dining room for something like this:
http://tinyurl.com/jb4cjv5

You can park the miscellaneous sefarim there until they are put away in their proper places.


Don't get that (above). That would only work if they make the effort to bend down and neatly put the seforim away. We have something similar and the seforim get piled up on top of the small round table which is the part not meant for seforim anyway. The pile is sometimes a few feet high. Oh, of course if someone accidentally knocks it down then it's their fault - certainly not the fault of dh who didn't put things away properly.

Do you have study? If you do, just collect seforim, jackets, hats and put them in there (without putting away properly) and close the door. Before shabbos ask dh if he can clean up his study. It sounds like you don't have a study though, so maybe a narrow folding table can put placed just to keep things on so your dining room table (and chairs) look neat?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 10:35 pm
amother wrote:
If it won't be seforim it will be something else. Don't look at it as seforim rather as the fact that they do not put things away. A few years ago, I felt like all the seforim on the DR table were irking me. I decided I dont want seforim to bother me. Every time I see the seforim on the table, I think "This is my crown of glory" this is what I want my house to look like, A place where seforim is used and appreciated. Every time I put it away I thank Hashem that I have the zechus of doing this.
If your house is full of seforim then you obviously value the learning so learn to reframe the way you see the mess.


THIS. I am constantly fighting the clutter in my house, but never the seforim.

I've come to love the look of Torah learning in my home. Dirty kleenex, plates left over from dinner, and stuff like that needs to be dealt with, but to me, seforim are something I'm proud to have around.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 02 2016, 11:11 pm
My plan is something I saw in someone's house. A small desk with a shelf above for the sfarim that are currently in use.
A shelf or closet by the front door for the Tallis/tefillin. Where do their coats go? Also everywhere?
For hats, big hooks high on the wall by the door. If you have space, a high hook, a shelf underneath then another hook for the coat. One set per adult male in the house.
Same idea as cubbies in preschool.


Last edited by Iymnok on Sun, Jan 03 2016, 2:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sun, Jan 03 2016, 12:49 am
Iymnok wrote:
My plan is something I saw in someone's house. A small desk with a shelf above for the sfarim that are currently in use.
A shelf or closet by the front door for the Tallis/tefillin. Iso girl's wedding dressHere do their coats go? Also everywhere?
For hats, big hooks high on the wall by the door. If you have space, a high hook, a shelf underneath then another hook for the coat. One set per adult male in the house.
Same idea as cubbies in preschool.


what does the bolded mean?
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 03 2016, 1:35 am
The problem is they need to be trained to PUT THINGS (all things -- not just sforim) BACK WHERE THEY BELONG.
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