caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

pinktichel

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 1:25 pm

Was in the grocery today and saw an adult (she seemed a little off) stealing. She put things in her shopping cart and later I saw her put the expensive items (like a huge dried salami) in her shopping bag.

I've seen children and non jews (don't know if she was jewish or not) steal before but I've never said anything. Btw, I've only seen non jews stealing in big stores like Michaels.

This time... well, I reported her. I feel really guilty... don't know if I did the right thing or not.

Ruchel

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 1:30 pm

I would never report someone stealing food. Maybe she just wanted meat for her children?
Now, cds, make up, even clothes... maybe. But more probably in a small shop than in a big company that includes this stealing in their prices.

brooklyn

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 1:40 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Now, cds, make up, even clothes... maybe. But more probably in a small shop than in a big company that includes this stealing in their prices.

Just because they include the probability of theft in their pricing still does not make it right to steal. Stealing is stealing no matter from a big company or small, from a jew or from a non jew, it is wrong, period. So yes, I probably would report the thief.

Cinderella

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 2:25 pm

I don't think that salami is a necassity, its really more of a "luxury" item.... If the woman didn't see me catch her then I would tell. Its horrible and wrong and there are plenty of charities and government programs for people who need help feeding their families.

Mrs. XYZ

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 2:27 pm

There is also the inyan of being 'dan lekaf zechus' by a yid. Do you know for sure she was stealing? Do you know the whole story?

I once went into a grocery to return a bottle of spoiled milk. went over the cashier first, gave it to her and she told me to take another one. So I went over to the fridge, took out a milk, put it into my bag and walked out! now I was thinking if someone was watching me take the milk, they could def. think I was stealing, but who cares- I know I was doing the right thing. Or are we really supposed to act in a way that others shouldn't suspect? Did I have to go back to the counter with the milk?

Marion

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:19 pm

Another perspective...

When I go shopping with my cart, I don't pay to use a supermarket cart. I just put things right into the one I own. (It also guarantees I don't buy more than I can shlep!). Then, of course, I go line up to pay for it all.

brooklyn

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:24 pm

Hey all that is great, if that was the case then no harm, no foul, the woman would not have gotten into trouble, I'm not saying that we have to police others, but if something is obviously not the norm, then why take a chance, report it and things will follow the natural progression.

CAYA

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:27 pm

Marion wrote:

I do the same, I put the things in my carriage basket..
I would never report anyone, especially a yid!

brooklyn

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:31 pm

Listen, in stores if they suspect that you are stealing, they don't stop you until you try to walk out of the store. Buy putting something into your bag, it is not stealing unless you leave the store without paying. As long as the woman paid for the items she put in her bag, there is no problem.

greenfire

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:34 pm

you know some things are better left as none of your business ... it's a lot easier to steal a salami than a dozen eggs ... and perhaps she was hungry ... you don't know her life situation or what brought her to that point ...

you can only fix, control, and change yourself ... don't steal, don't judge ...

amother

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 5:51 pm

I was with a friend once that walked out of a store without paying. I was so sad that someone that cannot afford food would have to resort to this option. I went to the cashier, paid for her food, and then called her rebbetzin to discuss if I should ignore it, or talk to her about it. Upon the guidance of the rebbetzin, I did what I was told. It's a sad situation to watch.

anon, in case my friend is on these boards.

southernbubby

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 5:56 pm

If the store owner was a yid, I would approach him and tell him what I saw. A yid has a duty to inform another yid if harm is coming his way and if someone is stealing from him they are harming him. If he wants to give the salami to her, that should be his choice.

amother

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 5:59 pm

southernbubby wrote:

yeah, but whatif he decides to persecute. then you might be guilty of mesirah, on e of the worst averos you can commit.

southernbubby

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 6:05 pm

If he decides to go outside the beis din system, that is his aveira, not ours. In certain circumstances, a Jew can call the police on another Jew. We do not get an avaira by telling a Jew that another Jew is trying to steal from him. We are protecting him.

pinktichel

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 6:38 pm

Ok, now I feel beyond awful.

Let's just clarify... the woman did not appear Jewish (not to say she wasn't) and was way too old to have young children at home to feed. Yes, she possibly had grandchildren, etc. but she paid for a small jar of mayo and a loaf of rye bread as well. Looked to me like she wanted a yummy lunch (I should've just reminded her it was the nine days.)

Quote:

That's why I told the manager and didn't ignore it this time!!

Btw, they did not prosecute or even call the police. They didn't make a big deal either. The manager approached her outside, on a side street and spoke nicely to her. HE SAID IT WAS NOT THE FIRST, SECOND OR EVEN THIRD TIME SHE HAS STOLEN FROM THEM!!

Thanks Southern for making me feel like I did the right thing although from now on I'm gonna keep my mouth shut!

Lechatchila Ariber

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 6:55 pm

pinktichel don't feel awfull.
those of you who are so worried about the woman not having food to eat, what about the store owner? do you know how he is doing financially?
maybe he is in deficit every month because business is bad and people steal from him.

anyway, I was discussing this with my husband once because some workers in a store told me how they caught a man hiding some food down his pants, and I mentioned to my husband, "what if the guy was hungry"
my husband's response was, then he can approach the owner or someone else and ask for tzedoka but to steal is never acceptable.

amother

Thu, Jul 19 2007, 10:00 am

Good for you pink! BTW, when my sister was 3, she stole a candy from the grocery store. it was one that you buy by the pound. My mother made us take her back & have her pay for it. Wink