Lighting Candles When...

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Post  Fri, Jan 15 2016, 6:27 am
What do you do about lighting candles when you are either invited out for Shabbos dinner or have an event on Friday night (bar mitzvah dinner etc.)? Do you light candles and then leave? This is hypothetical but would it make a difference if you had a sleeping relative at home? What if the relative was older and couldn't move quickly (if something chv happened with the candles?)
What if you lived in an apartment complex - would that change your mind vs a standalone house?

DH and I fight about this everytime the situation comes up. He says leaving candles alone in a house is fine and "what everyone does." Especially after what happened in Brooklyn last year... Makes me so nervous. I'm curious both what you all do and if there's any halachic implications about leaving fire unattended.
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Post  Fri, Jan 15 2016, 6:30 am
We prefer to light where we eat, both for reasons of halacha and safety.
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m in Israel


Post  Fri, Jan 15 2016, 6:33 am
Actually, even without the fire factor, if you are leaving right after you light the candles, it might be preferable halachicly to light in the place you are eating. This is because the reason for lighting the candles is for oneg Shabbos -- and if you don't have any time to see and benefit from the light than it is not serving the purpose. One way to solve this is to light the candles and then stay home for a little while before leaving. That won't help you with your fire concern, of course. OTOH there are opinions that prefer you light where you sleep. But definitely if you are leaving the house alone and therefore are concerned about fire safety, you can light in the place that you will be eating. (Of course, that's assuming you get there early enough to light Smile )
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Post  Fri, Jan 15 2016, 6:40 am
Our minhag is to light at home but if I need to leave after, I light tealights inside the stainless steel sink.
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Post  Fri, Jan 15 2016, 7:11 am
There are two opinions. Where you sleep and where you eat. We do it where we sleep, make sure to look at the after tzeis hakochavim and eat a little before going to sleep. That gets in both opinions.
Obviously, take proper precautions.
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