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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Naming after someone when you don't like the name
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 10:29 am
There's always "we named our daughter Ahuva after Bubby genencha who we loved very much"
I know several people who have done that
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amother
Blush


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 11:28 am
I was raised that you give a name after a grandparent, great grandparents etc. Until my son was born. Dh was very close to his grandfather while he was alive, and my mil expected me to use it.
I couldn't bec that was the same name as the man who molested me for years. My parents rabbi said to add a name, but I just couldn't live with the constant trigger.
So I gave a different name.
My mil was furious ( I couldn't tell her why the name was different) , I just want to put it out there that before you get upset over a name not being used, maybe there's a reason you don't know about.
I also do feel it's the parents' prerogative to choose the name they want, even if they just dislike the name or whatever.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 1:30 pm
I didn't give a name I hate to my dd. A grandmother. And that name was already given before me. Boy did I get from my mother. I hate her till today for causing me so much pain just cause I didn't want to give that name. She does it to everyone. Some people gave in to the pressure and I didn't. I'm proud I didn't. I give a name I like. And that no one will torture them for it. Like my name. I learned that it's just for kavod to my parents to give the name. So I do whatever I like and ignore what my mother says. She's a difficult immature nasty narcissistic person. So I don't give a hoot what she's gonna say. It's my child and it's my choice. She had her choice when she had kids. I get to choose what I want.

Anyway, the most important thing is to give the neshama an Aliya. That's by learning mishnayos or doing a mitzva for their name. Naming your child has no connection to that.
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superstar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 12:54 am
I am pg and these are my name choices (grandparents)- Frayda, Shaindel, Frumit.
HELP- any Hebrew versions or additions?
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:02 am
In Hebrew Freidy could be Chedvah, Gila, RINAH, DITZAH, SIMCHA. In English Joy.

Shaindel is same meaning as Shayna, Yaffa.

Frumet nickname Frummie/Frimmy. It means frum/pious so how about Adina/Aliza or Idy/Aidel/Udy/Agi. Or Tammy ( like tam/tamim)
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dorothy1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:04 am
lkwd_mom wrote:
I am pg and these are my name choices (grandparents)- Frayda, Shaindel, Frumit.
HELP- any Hebrew versions or additions?


Frayda means Joy so Rina , Gila
Shaindel- Yaffa
Frumit - I don’t think so
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mpk




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:17 am
The Hebrew version of Frumit is Bruriah. Also, Aliza is used for Fraidel.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:20 am
lkwd_mom wrote:
I am pg and these are my name choices (grandparents)- Frayda, Shaindel, Frumit.
HELP- any Hebrew versions or additions?

My grandmother's name was Frayda and I named my daughter Simcha for her.
I was also considering Ahuva and saying "we named her after Bubby who we loved very much" Smile


Shaindel is Yaffa
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:23 am
Maybe you can use Shira/Ashira for Fraidel.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:40 am
lkwd_mom wrote:
I am pg and these are my name choices (grandparents)- Frayda, Shaindel, Frumit.
HELP- any Hebrew versions or additions?


Frayda = happiness, so Roni, or Rina, Simcha, etc.

Shaindel = beautiful, so Yaffa, Chein, Chana, (both mean grace)

Frumit = I don't know what it means. If it's the same as "frum," then you could go with Yehudit, Sara (same root as Yisrael), or any name which expresses closeness to Hashem
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 7:27 am
Deleted post
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 8:17 am
agreer wrote:
I'm gonna dissent, using my own screen name no less, based no personal experience.

I think there are a lot of factors in naming, but in my view, if the name will honor your PARENT b/c it is after their parent or sibling (not further than that), and you dislike the name, but not hate it, you should give the name as a form of Kibbud Av V'eim. (Yes, this is a real part of the mitzvah, and yes, there is a source - look it up in The Fifth Commandment by Artscroll....I gave the source in another thread.)

*Note: I would only do it to honor a parent, not any other relative, and only if I "disliked" the name, not hated it.

My mother named me after my grandmother. She did not particularly care for the name OR for her grandmother, but she LOVED her mother dearly, and in honor of her mother, she gave the name. Unlike the previous posters, she grew to love the name dearly. And my grandmother was so, so happy to have a name after her mother.

I know many people that haven't "loved" a name but have given it out of filial duty and grew to love it. Most people who respond to online threads (not just on this site) do so because they are upset, as many of the PPs are... but it's not always the case.

I don't see why the OP cannot give the name and use a nickname - you mentioned that as one of the things that "won't work"... Why not? If the relative is that hard to please, then yeah, give it up and choose a name you like.

Good luck!


Thank you for being a voice of sanity. Like with most things there’s right and wrong on both sides. I wouldn’t give a name kids will make fun of but respecting parents should come into play too. It’s true the mother chooses the name but that means she has the heart and brain of a Jewish mother.
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Debbie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:31 am
My opinion,and also my husband's opinion is that it's for the parents to chose what to name their children.
B"H our first grandchild was born two days ago and we will not interfere in any way with the name choices of our daughter and Son in law; we've had our turn at naming our children, now it's their turn.
Just as it's yours and your husband's turn to name your child.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:35 am
I've always had an extremely difficult relationship with my MIL (she's not Jewish and has wild mood swings due to alcoholism and depression) and my husband wanted me to name our daughter after her using a 'Hebracized' version of her non-Jewish name... sorry, but not happening... I don't put my food down often, but I drew the line at that one
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:37 am
Debbie wrote:
My opinion,and also my husband's opinion is that it's for the parents to chose what to name their children.
B"H our first grandchild was born two days ago and we will not interfere in any way with the name choices of our daughter and Son in law; we've had our turn at naming our children, now it's their turn.
Just as it's yours and your husband's turn to name your child.

Mazal tov!!!
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Debbie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:51 am
Ema of 4 wrote:
Mazal tov!!!


Thanks so much.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 11:30 am
.
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superstar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 03 2019, 9:54 am
how is frumit- bruriah?
what do they both mean?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 03 2019, 10:02 am
lkwd_mom wrote:
I am pg and these are my name choices (grandparents)- Frayda, Shaindel, Frumit.
HELP- any Hebrew versions or additions?



Aliza for Frayda (that's my grandmother's name. She should live to 120!)

Adina for Shaindel (that's why I didn't call my grandmother till AFTER DD already had her name. She wouldn't have gone for the Adina, and DH does not like Shaindel.)

Frumit - don't know. My niece has Frumit as her second name. I don't think too many people know about it.
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nchr




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 03 2019, 11:02 am
I'd rather name for a relative even if I dont "like the name." I also dont really understand what "not liking a name means," although there are names I do like very much. Also totally dont understand this teasing business, which is a chinuch issue. If I ever heard any of my children made fun of someone's name I would be extremely devastated and would consider that a severe infraction. Still, if you're not the type of person to get used to things and accept them, dont give a name you'll regret, epseiclaly since the child may pick up on it.
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