Mother-in-law pushing powdered soup mix

westchestermom

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 9:16 pm

My hypertensive mother in law loves to make soup for my kids. Fried pasta with canned tomato sauce poured over and powdered chicken stock. To me, that's not soup it's a heart attack. Especially for an infant who should not be eating salt. To make it worse, the 4 year old loves it. I always have plenty of homemade stock in the freezer and plenty of bones to make more in the crock pot, it takes zero effort. Last time she was here she brought the little noodles for me to make soup another day and she brought powdered soup bullion. I tried to tell her I use homemade stock but she insisted that I have a baggie of the mix "to give it flavor." I told her it's too salty and she says she knows it has too much salt but it tastes good to her. Last time she brought some I spilled it on the floor lol

lavender_dew

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 10:00 pm

My MIL doesnt use the powdered mix but she puts soooo much salt in everything, even though it's against doctor's orders and she's already on medication. When she makes soup I can barely eat it and she tries to give it to my young daughter. You just need to be firm. Say you don't use that much salt in your cooking ("it makes me bloated" or whatever, which is my excuse! lol) and your family's tastes aren't used to it now.

watergirl

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 10:03 pm

Even though I firmly believe that MSG stands for "Makes Stuff Good", I think in this case you are totally within "little white lie" limits and you can just tell her that youve detoxed your family from msg. Even better for your case if you actually do then stop using it. Tell her your dr noticed that it makes you sick. Or whatever. Eta - the dish you described sounds good. Do you have the recipe? Wink

Amarante

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 10:25 pm

I agree with other posters that what you do depends on how often she is feeding the children.

If it's occasional, just leave it be because what you eat for one meal doesn't matter. It's what you eat consistently that matters. It's in the category of junk nosh.

If her soup constitutes a significant part is f your kids' diet, then you do need to tactfully explain that you don't want your kids eating large quantities of processed chemicals.

amother

Taupe

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 10:34 pm

she's trying to be nice and giving. I don't think you should make a big deal since it could jeopardize your relationship. You can mention that you'd rather not cook with a lot of salt but if she is not making changes then forget about it. I'd imagine that you do most of the cooking for your kids so I'm sure they are going to be fine and healthy. Every once in a while shouldn't be a big deal but it would be a big deal to break her giving heart.

westchestermom

Sat, Feb 20 2016, 10:34 pm

Yeah it's maybe once a month that she makes it so I haven't made a big deal about it. You can easily multiply the recipe, brown 8 oz small pasta like stars or letters in a tablespoon of oil, then add a small can of tomato sauce (not sure the size because I don't buy little ones for my fam) and twice that amount water, plus a tablespoon soup mix and cook until it thickens. Btw my father in law is a dialysis patient with diabetes and high blood pressure, he will flat out refuse to eat when she makes stuff like that because he will end up in the hospital.

chani8

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 6:32 am

I seriously dont know what I would do in that case. I think I would be horrified but allow it, because once a month really wont kill a person, unless they're allergic to that stuff.

I am a total health freak but allow my kids to buy what they want for treats. If I'm paying for it, it wont have MSG, but I will buy stuff that is a compromise, like doritos or pringles or chips without the added flavors.

I even looked the other way when they bought lollipops with food coloring. Then went home and googled how to make homemade lollipops, which they now prefer.

So maybe increase the salt and spices in your soup so that Grandma doesn't need to add the weird stuff.

Amarante

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 7:16 am

Not that it's the point of your post, but you can very easily adapt the recipe your 4 year old likes and make it healthy.

Use whole wheat pasta
Saute in olive oil (everyone needs "good" oils in their diet)
Not sure if the tomato sauce is problematic as there are healthy and not so healthy options. If you really want to be healthy use canned diced or whole tomatoes
Amp up the flavorings with healthy child friendly flavors - for example
saute the pasta with some garlic and maybe finely diced onion - or use pure garlic powder and onion powder (neither of these have salt)
a little salt is fine (assuming the tomato sauce isn't already spicy) and maybe some pepper
Other herbs or seasonings that your children might like to amp up the flavor
If your children would accept it you can even add some small diced carrots or other veggies into the soup.

Simple1

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 7:29 am

So interesting for you to post this, because my MIL a"h used to make a very similar soup with elbow macaroni, but without the soup mix (she never uses soup mix). She was the only one I know who ever made it, and my kids have good memories of Grandma's soup.

I would let it go if it's once a month, but then again, I'm not into extreme heath stuff. Really a tablespoon of oil is not so much.

If she brings the soup mix to your house, you can take it and then toss it later. It's pretty easy to make a tasty soup without it, using salt and basic spices. If you have time you can try sauted onion or garlic.

Last edited by Simple1 on Sun, Feb 21 2016, 8:08 am; edited 1 time in total

westchestermom

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 7:34 am

Amarante, my kids BH will eat plenty of veggies and no salt at all. I make a lot of crock pot meals with a little meat, lots of veg and beans. I do cook with a lot of garlic and they love it. Besides the salt It's just crazy to me that my MIL will make most meals with no vegetable ever (chicken and rice, pasta with full fat sour cream and tomato sauce, spaghetti and meatballs with no side salad). The most she does is sprinkle frozen vegetables in her rice. And I've tried to teach her that lemon, vinegar and fresh herbs make the food taste seasoned enough, especially for her husband but she's kind of lazy and stuck in bad habits. like never using dried beans, I've showed her that I make extra and freeze and its just as easy as canned. So he never eats beans anymore at home because he can't excrete the salt. When we eat together I make sure to have vegetables prepared but they don't eat it and she usually doesn't know what it is because to her vegetables mean potatoes and maybe a little carrot, greens are too exotic lol.

watergirl

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 8:04 am

Thanks for sharing the recipe! For once a month, it really doesnt seem as bad as you are making it out to be. The pasta isnt "fried" in oil like you originally stated. Looks like a fun bubie treat. My bubie used to make this thing called "milchika" which was a yeast dough nightmare. I hated it but everyone else loved it - full of margarine etc. it was bubies special thing.

Are your kids young? By the time they start to go to school and rebbes give them cans of coke just for knowing the name of the parsha (exaggerating, but only slightly), and they have a junk food siyum for any given event, this dish will look like health food.

I really understand that you dont like or approve of her cooking. But disecting it like this isnt going to help. If she invites you over for a meal, why not just offer to bring a side dish? And bring something exotic and green? I can promise you that thinking of her as lazy and stuck in bad habits will not improve the situation and nothing will change anyways. After all - its not your job to change her habits! And its not your job at this point to care for your fil's health. I know its hard and frustrating for you to see this food which horrifies you. But you can not change her and you should not try to. Dont look down on her, its not nice and it wont help.

Eta - your first line of your first imamother post ever (welcome, by the way!) is "my hypersensative mother in law". I would for sure leave this alone. It sounds like its the least of your troubles with her in some respects, or maybe just the one thing you feel you can chabge about her... In any case if she is hyper sensative, honestly a tablespoon of soupmix wont hurt anyone. Also I was thinking - so many soup mixes are now msg free! Are you positive thats what shes using?

amother

Taupe

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 10:36 am

westchestermom wrote:

you sound very judgmental. Let her be. Why do you care so much what she eats? BTW, are you sefardi? Just asking based on your food descriptions.

amother

Violet

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 10:44 am

westchestermom wrote:

When we eat together I make sure to have vegetables prepared but they don't eat it ....

You can't blame your fil's diet on your mil. He doesn't eat it when it is put in front of him at your house. DH refuses to eat vegetables except for a very limited selection. Someone could blame DH's health issues on me.

How did you get DH to eat vegetables?

westchestermom

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 1:08 pm

Shes hypertensive,not hypersensitive. Hypertensive means high blood pressure. I guess I shouldn't be so judgmental about her cooking, it's just that they have many health problems due to diet and I don't want my family to end up like that.luckily dh eats whatever he is given, but when I'm asleep he eats a lot of junk too. I can see him being on meds before he is 40 because he's a total couch potato. I'm not sefardi, my mom was just a health nut so it rubbed off on me. She used to limit my refined carbs as a kid.

amother

White

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 1:29 pm

I agree with others that if she's only feeding your kids once in a while, let it go. Our bodies can handle a bit of unhealthy food.

Second, you say the in-laws have health issues because of poor diet. They may not be doing themselves any favors, but sometimes health issues are just bad luck. I know an Ironman triathlete who is a poster boy for healthy lifestyle choices and who has to take cholesterol medications. That's just his genetic inheritance. It happens.

Third, it's bad manners to lecture a woman who is old enough to be your mother.

What I'm trying to say is that you can't control everything. It's bad for your blood pressure. Wink

amother

Khaki

Sun, Feb 21 2016, 3:41 pm

I use soup mix myself occasionally but I always serve lots of veggies. We have a shabbos guest who does not eat veggies. He won't eat something if there are veggies in it. Except chicken soup. He's quite a young man still but very overweight and suffering health issues.

I do think if your parents in law are not eating vegetables and everything is made with soup mix that is probably the root of their health issues. Lets face it, vegetables are not the most appealing thing. I'd much rather eat some meat or mashed potatoes then a plate of salad. I eat vegetables mostly because I know they are healthy.

If you never eat vegetables I can see it must be hard to get used to them.