Chinuch - Inspiration and Chizuk

Motek

Mon, Jul 11 2005, 7:16 pm

Incredible - blows me away!

Rabbi J.B. Soloveitchik z'l wrote a powerful description of his childhood and the values that shaped his life. Rambam, he wrote, was the only friend he had during his childhood. His father, R' Moshe Soloveitchik, would analyze Rambam in his shiurim. "The Rambam was a constant guest in our house," wrote the Rav.

"I would strain my ears to catch my father's every word. In my young and impressionable mind there developed a dual impression: First, that the Rambam was being attacked by enemies who wanted to hurt him, and second, that the Rambam's only defender was my father. I felt strongly that without my father, who knows what would happen to the Rambam?

"It was as if the Rambam himself were with us in the room, listening to my father's words. The Rambam sat next to me on my bed. What did he look like? I don't know exactly. He seemed to look like an exceedingly handsome and good father. His name was also Moshe, just like my father.

"[When R' Moshe defended the Rambam] the Rambam was comforted and smiled. I too was delighted and joined in the feeling of joy in the room. I would jump from my bed and run to my mother and cry out the good news: "Mother, mother, the Rambam won! He beat the Raavad. Father helped him. Look how wonderful my father is!"

"But once in a great while my father did not succeed, and despite all his efforts the enemies of the Rambam defeated him. Their questions were as strong as iron. Although my father mustered all his strength, he could not save the Rambam from his detractors. Salvation did not come for the Rambam. Deep in thought, my father would lean his head on the palms of his hands on the table.

"The students and I, and even the Rambam, waited in great tension for my father's words, but my father would raise his head and sadly state, 'There is no answer. No one is capable of resolving these questions.'

"The shiur ended with no explanations. The students were sad and even my father was depressed. A sense of despair descended upon all of us. I cried. Even the eyes of the Rambam glistened with teardrops.

"With a broken heart I would walk slowly to my mother and cry out to her: "Mother, Father cannot answer the Rambam. What will we do? He did not succeed today."

"And my mother would tell me: 'Don't worry. Father will find an answer to the Rambam. If he does not succeed, then when you grow up, perhaps you will find an answer to the Rambam. Always remember my son, the important thing about Torah is to study it in happiness and enthusiasm.'"

(As a child, the Rav was deeply influenced by a number of people: his two grandfathers, Reb Chaim Brisker and Reb Elya Pruzhiner; his uncle Reb Velvel Brisker; his Chabad melamed in Khaslavitch; his mother and above all, his father. The Rav never learned in a yeshiva and his father was his rebbe muvhak)

Motek

Tue, Jul 12 2005, 10:51 pm

A couple once wrote to the Lubavitcher Rebbe about their son who wanted to marry a gentile woman. The son was on the West Coast, in Los Angeles, the parents were in Eretz Yisrael, and they asked the Rebbe what to do.

The Rebbe said that maybe a friend should talk to him, and it was also worth introducing him to Jewish girls, as well as other ideas about how to draw the boy in other directions which might get him to leave the gentile girl. At the end of the letter the Rebbe writes: After all this you need to know that parents are connected with their children with a soul connection, and therefore every addition in Torah and Mitzvos that you take upon yourselves, automatically affects the soul of your son, even if he is on the other end of the world.

Motek

Sun, Jul 17 2005, 3:14 pm

When parents are mechanech (educate) their children, they are, in effect, being mechanech the next generation, the children their children will have, and so-on, down the line ...

A quote from Dr. James Dobson, a proponent for religious values and a return to wholesome living:

Quote:

I'm sure you've heard the debate on stem-cell research. Do you understand what a stem cell is? A stem cell is a cell – in the human being at least – that in the very early stages of development it is undifferentiated. In other words, it's not yet other kinds of tissue, but it can go any direction depending on the environment that it's in.

The stem cell, if it's in the brain, develops into a nerve cell or into the substances between the nerves. Or if it's in the heart, it becomes a heart cell, or if it's in the eye, it becomes an eyeball cell. Wherever it is, it takes on the characteristic of the surrounding area.

Do you understand that children are the stem cells for the culture? The environment that you put them in is what they grow up to be. And if you can control what they hear, if you could control what they're told, if you have access to their minds … you can make them into just about whatever you want them to be.

Motek

Wed, Aug 10 2005, 9:18 pm

I just read an interview with a woman who said, "Our home was the haven where we experienced Yiddishkeit. The school and the street were outside our real world."

This impresses me tremendously, how her parents accomplished this. This woman grew up in Toronto when it was NOT a thriving frum place, where there were no yeshivos and no kosher food outside the house.

The woman says she was the ONLY religious girl in school AS WELL as in the afternoon Talmud Torah!

When she is asked how she remained frum in such an environment she says it was because of her parents and the home.

"My mother was warm and nurturing, devoting herself to her family. Our connection was very strong and knowing that Yiddishkeit was so important to her, it was only natural to adopt those values and make them my own."

Rabbi Goldschmidt of "Dear Daughter" and "Dear Son" describes growing up similarly. He grew up in Argentina and hardly anybody else was frum. How did his parents raise frum children with the highest standards of Yiddishkeit when their children's friends were not frum?

He explains that his home was Gan Eden and he revered and loved his parents deeply. There was no question that he would follow in their ways.

wow

gryp

Thu, Aug 11 2005, 9:18 pm

I think its "easier" to create your home into an oasis of Yiddishkeit when you live on shlichus in a nonreligious community where everyone around you is completely different. living in a frum community where everyone around you is doing similar things, makes it much harder, because the kids always say "why cant we be like....," and on shlichus they understand completely that they are different from a-z.

the foundation for turning your home into a haven of Yiddishkeit, I think, has two major factors:
1)not letting anything that represents goyishkeit into your home
2)the parents (who are in creating the haven) have to be prime examples for their children in everything they want their children to learn.

I think the next step is to instill in your children pride in who they are and what they do. not pride as in arrogance, but confidence.

Motek

Sun, Nov 20 2005, 5:46 pm

There's the famous chinuch story about the couple who went to a rav (different names depending on the version) with their two year old and asked for chinuch guidance. The rav said they were two years too late! Exclamation

l'havdil, I came across the following:

Lean's "Collectanea," a 19th-century collection of Elizabethan proverbs, contains a maxim it ascribes to the Jesuits: "Give me a child for the first seven years, and you may do what you like with him afterwards." In like manner, Vladimir Lenin said: "Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted."

1stimer

Mon, Nov 21 2005, 10:42 am

I asked Rabbi Noach Orloweck, (author of Raising Roses Among Thorns) how to raise kids so that they don't rebel. He said the answer was to create a warm, loving, fun home. Have music, games. He also said open communication with your kids is ESSENTIAL and this starts from age TWO. He said if you do create a warm loving home than even if your kids go off they'll be back, because they won't find what you've created out there.

RG, you're right about it being easier to create an oasis of yidishkeit in a nonreligious community. My grandparents chose to send my father to the non-jewish school rather than the jewish (not religious) school for this reason. Because in the non-jewish school he knew he was different.