Flashback by Riva Pomerantz

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penguin

Mon, May 16 2016, 6:17 pm

Sheva is a heroine because although she does work, she turned down a promotion to asst principal because it would take too much away from her family. In other words, she had her priorities straight. Michal and Ashi got to that point but it was a struggle. I thought the story brought out some very important ideas.

amother

Red

Mon, May 16 2016, 8:41 pm

I enjoyed the story and feel that it highlighted alot of issues in today's society.

amother

Bronze

Mon, May 16 2016, 9:08 pm

Riva is a poster on Imamother. You should be more sensitive in your criticism.

amother

Apricot

Mon, May 16 2016, 10:56 pm

loved the story. gave me lots of food for thought. was very much able to relate to storyline and what kind of mom I want to be...
thank you riva for a great read!
oh, & I'd love to meet avigail LOL

seeker

Tue, May 17 2016, 1:38 am

first of all, I am adding my voice to those calling for a more sensitive tone of critique. You're entitled to your opinion but I'm pretty sure you're not entitled to put people down like that. And I'm so relieved that I'm not the first one saying this, as I read the first few replies I was just increasingly hoping two pages of thread did not go by without anyone here picking that up. I hope OP will go back and edit her tone to be more reflective of her thoughts about the story and not so insulting.

Secondly, did OP even read the story? This claim about how therapy is always a major theme - I actually thought it was pretty interesting that with all their issues, Ashi and Michal worked things out WITHOUT a therapist. While therapy definitely has a place and this author has done a lot to bring that into the public consciousness (btw the last family first serial that was heavy on therapy, IIRC, was by a different writer. So there. I think there was some minor therapy work in Split Ends but it wasn't a major theme, just a forum for some explicit explanation about ADHD, again IIRC) I thought it was very meaningful to show how a couple can work through difficult situations without making it all pathological. If anything she had kind of an opposite theme, because the only therapist involved was the school social worker who was depicted as meddlesome and useless.

Then - where did everyone see that Sheva was some kind of hero? She was a great supporting character, there for her sister in many ways. I didn't see her glorified for supporting the kollel husband. Her PARENTS did that, but that was not brought in to show that it was the right thing to do - on the contrary, it was to show how hard things were for Michal in contrast to feel that her parents didn't value her/her husband as much. And Sheva expressed some of her own angst about leaving her kids to work. It was not painted as black and white or hypocritical - I didn't read anywhere that working to support a husband in kollel is any different than working to support the family in other ways or for other reasons. It seemed to me that Michal was venting to her sister, who responded by sharing some of her own feelings. I seem to recall when Michal was first taking the job, Sheva seemed sad for her, saying how she has a hard time with leaving her kids all the time or something like this.

All in all, there was a lot going on. It seems that toward the end some of those more nuanced points might have gotten lost as people focused more on the main themes, but while I might not have loved every single thing about the story I thought that overall it was a great job. I wonder if the tidy ending detracted from the more detailed story, because here we are hashing over whether she ultimately came to the right decision or whether the author is endorsing the character's decision and all that, when I think the strongest points were made in the process, not the punchline.

Ms.MaryMack(inblack)

Tue, May 17 2016, 2:25 am

I personally thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm going to be sad to see it go. Riva's strength is charactor building and I really felt like I knew all the characters in real life. Aslo, as other readers agreed it was meant to be light reading, personally I loved chained but it was HEAVY stuff and I had to clear my mind before reading it. Flashback was juicy stuff and I found myself getting involved in the charactors and being impressed with their strengths. Riva, if you are reading this - THanks for making such great charactors and such a true to life story.

amother

Cyan

Tue, May 17 2016, 2:35 am

I'm finding it quite amusing that instead of actually focusing on the story which was the obvious point of this post, everyone is focused on saying how everything written by Riva is amazing so her feelings aren't hurt.
I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feeling. I simply said I didn't like it. Same way some of you said you love it . We are adults and so is she. She can handle the fact that some people will love her stories and others might hate. It's the way it is with writing.
Now let's get back to the actual story...

amother

White

Tue, May 17 2016, 2:42 am

amother wrote:

Actually, people did discuss the story here, some quite thoughtfully. I guess you were looking for more negative feedback, so that didn't fit the goal of your post.

I happen to be quite an intense literature critic, but I definitely wouldn't write the scathing OP you did if the author was on the board. You can write your criticism and what disappointed you, but there is a nicer way of saying it, that's all the other posters were saying.

You wouldn't say this to the author to her face, would you? If Reva herself asked you straight out what you thought of the story, you might bring up the same points, in a more pleasant way. Since it is very likely that she is reading this - and even if not! - a bit of courtesy would be nice, especially in sefirah.

Again, I deconstruct literature myself and many works fall short, so I can definitely relate to your desire to rehash the story and analyze its weak points. That's perfectly okay. But analyzing it in a tone that's a bit less harsh would be appreciated by all.

Thank you!

seeker

Tue, May 17 2016, 3:04 am

Yes, I'm with White amother - you didn't "simply say you didn't like it." Go back and reread.

And I don't either recall anyone saying that everything written by Riva is amazing so her feelings aren't hurt. Again, go back and reread. What people are saying is that everyone should communicate respectfully so feelings aren't hurt more than incidentally.

Even if we didn't know that this particular author is on this forum, I would stand by the same thing. first of all, you never know, and secondly, even without directly insulting a person to their face it still hurts them indirectly. Plus, it's just not nice regardless of whether it ever gets back to the subject.

If you really didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, then you would take it to heart when people let you know that you have done something hurtful.

chavamom

Tue, May 17 2016, 3:08 am

The question remains: how are they all paying their bills???

chaiz

Tue, May 17 2016, 4:05 am

chavamom wrote:

The question remains: how are they all paying their bills???

By opening a business. But really, it is not dealt with in the story because there is so much more to the story and ideas the author wants to bring forth. It makes sense to me and I do not see it as a negative in this case.

pointyshoes

Tue, May 17 2016, 5:57 am

Really agree with above poster that Rivas strength is character building. I personally hope to see more serials from her.
Although I also wish Ashi wouldnt have opened up about his personal information to Mrs Weiss. She had no right to know. He should have just explained to her that its not her business etc and made her feel like a slimy little nobody busybody that she is

allthingsblue

Tue, May 17 2016, 7:42 am

pointyshoes wrote:

Excellent point. I don't know why I didn't think of that; I was just happy she was called out on it. But you're right, she doesn't deserve to know- it's none of her business.

PinkFridge

Tue, May 17 2016, 8:40 am

chavamom wrote:

The question remains: how are they all paying their bills???

If the book (because it's likely there will be one) has supplemental stuff, I'm sure this question will be considered. Tongue Out

seeker

Tue, May 17 2016, 9:04 am

I also wonder how they're paying their bills, though one could argue that that's beside the point. Starting a business is a long-term plan that almost always takes time to become profitable. Though it seemed like the kind of business they're thinking of doesn't have so much startup cost (relatively speaking) and she is planning to start off with some contacts she made in the party planning (hope it's legal...)

I also thought the conversation with the teacher was a little odd. I guess he really lost his temper and wasn't thinking straight. Who can blame him. Ugh, that teacher needed a smack in the face! (wanting to smack the teacher all along definitely added some drama to the reading experience, lol)

Last edited by seeker on Wed, May 18 2016, 12:39 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Magenta

Tue, May 17 2016, 11:41 am

It's funny.

I loved the story and it was the first one I flipped to every week. In general I love Riva's writing.

However, I also was wondering how Michal and Ashi are going to pay the bills. It's not Ashi's side that can help them, for sure, and Michal's dad is a rabbi. It's expensive to raise a frum family what with tuition and all (in America) and from what I hear it's expensive in Israel too. Even Ashi's 6 figure salary, as the only income in the family, would require lots of tuition negotiation and very frugal budgeting habits. As an independent photographer just starting out, he will probably earn much less than that. (Heck, I don't know how much a successful party planner earns!).

Therefore, I felt that the story was in a fantasy world when it came to the amount of money that a mid-size family really needs to live a frum lifestyle.

In addition, I feel like there are so many other elements in a family's life other than whether the mother is working or not (or whether the father is working hard or not). 1) Some mothers enjoy working (but obviously Michal did not - or did she?) 2) Most mother's face an empty house once all of their kids are working, so the blissful kids at home stage doesn't last forever and it does behoove people to have a plan for the next stage, 3) some families suffer very bad shalom bayis problems when there isn't enough money, and those problems disappear when the money is plentiful (not a judgment, just a reality), 4) some families where the mom and dad earn lots of money get honor in the community and an easier time marrying off their kids ... So I agree with Riva that in a perfect world mothers should stay home with their kids, but it often doesn't work out that way and families can still be happy and ok (and maybe more ok than they would be without the money).

allthingsblue

Tue, May 17 2016, 11:58 am

amother wrote:

4) some families where the mom and dad earn lots of money get honor in the community and an easier time marrying off their kids ... So I agree with Riva that in a perfect world mothers should stay home with their kids, but it often doesn't work out that way and families can still be happy and ok (and maybe more ok than they would be without the money).

You made some good points in your post but this is just ridiculous.
There is a Jewish concept that if someone runs after honor, honor runs away from them. Honor is not a good reason why someone should work.

amother

Linen

Tue, May 17 2016, 12:12 pm

OP honestly I think you should edit out the last two sentences in your original post. It's just so nasty and unnecessary. Like others said, critique with respect. Sheesh.

Last edited by amother on Fri, Aug 21 2020, 2:11 am; edited 1 time in total

Mama Bear

Tue, May 17 2016, 9:16 pm

I liked the plot of the story. I found some of the writing over the top, especially the last installment, but overall, I think it was an interesting read and many people can take lessons from the story.

shaqued_almond

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:21 pm

Reading the book right now, I'm up to chapter 35. I think the most important thing is that it keeps you entertained. Personally I don't really like the writing style, but I think that's because I grew up in Europe, so we generally speak more formally. There's two thing however that kind of bug me: 1) Michal only takes her fancy job (which apparently can pay their bills!) out of necessity, but is treated with nothing but sour faces. I don't understand how it is that nobody is supporting her. And the reasons for it sound very spoiled honestly. Of course a mother will do the best job but that shouldn't mean that people can't at least try. 2) the title seems like a red herring.
But ultimately, it was kind of difficult for me to read through it because I couldn't identify with the drama of the situation. I had worked a very demanding job, experience physical difficulties over it etc. so the lack of toughness bothered me. Ashi took a month to watch his kids and he still can't do laundry...does he have 2 left hands?
My favorite scene so far though was when Michal kind of told off the teachers and her sister. It was a very good reality check.

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