Teach me Moderation!!

amother

Salmon

Tue, May 17 2016, 7:30 pm

I know how to do two things: binge, and starve. No matter how hard I try I never manage to just be NORMAL! I think food is the enemy and I should hate it and have as little to do with it as possible, but then I'm starving so I eat something, and then I figure, "well heck, I ate a sandwich, I mine as well eat fifteen mini chocolate bars because I'm not going to lose weight anyway." All of us suffer because Mommy and Wifey are very very grouchy.

amother

Green

Tue, May 17 2016, 9:45 pm

I'm an emotional overeating, and overcoming that was hard for me. I still slip up when I'm really stressed, but I've learned to accept that it happened, move on, and try not to do it again. It took a long time to really learn to do that, but once I did I found that I was able to stop eating and not continue because "already over by 1000 calories, why not?"

Calorie counting helped me a lot, too. It was hard to log everything, because sometimes it hurt to admit to myself. It was also hard to be accurate. We tend to underestimate (and sometimes over), so I bought a food scale and measured everything. Once I saw how much I was eating I could make easier decisions about whether or not to binge. Similarly, you can make decisions about whether or not to eat more.

An important thing is to be realistic about how many calories you need. Too much, and it allows some overeating, too little and it gives in to the starving. I use an app where I put in my weight and activity level (sendentary Wink

) and it told me how many calories I need. Obviously not shabbat-friendly, but given time you can adjust to how much you're now eating and do it without thinking much.

I'm really concerned about the starving part, though. Calorie counting may not help with that, and for people with OCD and anorexia nervosa it can aggravate not allowing yourself food. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try calorie counting to learn how to moderate, but I really urge you to go to a therapist do deal with the starving yourself if you continue to do it.

BTW, it took me about year to adjust and get to the point where I don't track all the time because my body learned what "full" means. So if that's hard it's OK and don't get discouraged.

Let us know how it goes!

thanks

Tue, May 17 2016, 9:47 pm

MyFitnessPal really helped me. It's an app that you can put on your phone or computer. It helps count calories and monitor progress. It has a scanner, so you can scan barcodes to enter foods you've eaten.

Also, maybe start your day with a protein shake. When I do, I feel full for the whole morning.

Good luck.

amother

Salmon

Tue, May 17 2016, 10:47 pm

Thanks guys. Its not really emotional eating. It's more like anorexic thinking--I am fat, food is bad, I need control. It's just that I am a bad anorexic because I don't have control for long. I grew up with two anorexic family members and two obese family members. My husband is the first person I ever met who feel comfortable about his weight, eats normal portions and moderate treats, and views food as enjoyable fuel for his body. I am 30 pounds overweight and need to deal with this, but dieting never works. My problem is that I am too extreme and feel like I am fainting and blacking out so I just binge. I am also nursing and I see that this approach is affecting my milk. It is like food is my worst enemy but also my addiction. I hope I am explaining this well...

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, May 17 2016, 11:19 pm

Wow op, I am in the exact same boat. I had a really bad starvation relapse last year in which I lost 25 pounds and got sick. I started eating and went to the opposite side if the spectrum, now overweight. It's mortifying. I used to eat/drink 400 calories a day and while I don't want to do that again, I despise the binging, out of control person I've become. And it's been a few months. I am trying so hard to just be normal.
Maybe we can do something together and post on here? I'm exhausted now but perhaps we can think of a plan tomorrow. ...
Good luck, wishing you health and happiness.

WastingTime

Wed, May 18 2016, 12:23 am

Google Rick Kausman, mindful eating
He talks about things like food not being "good" or "bad" or not saying to yourself I was so bad yesterday today I have to be good. The idea is, if you want some chocolate, great, eat it mindfully and don't punish yourself through bingeing. You will then automatically eat in moderation. FYI many refer to emotional eating as any eating that's not hunger related so you may yes want to look into emotional eating as well. You are not alone with this type of thinking , do some research. What you need is definitely NOT a diet!
Wishing you tremendous hatzlacha, I knocked exactly where you are coming from!

amother

Salmon

Wed, May 18 2016, 10:49 am

amother wrote:

Have you tried weight watchers? That's my next plan. I always hated that diet because it doesn't feel like it will work. But I'm really motivated before we have this huge family get together this summer. I know, it's sick that I feel like I have to lost weight for them...