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Zochreinu lechaim- did I really want chaim? ??
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amother




Pumpkin


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 5:40 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
It is the day after RH and my husband who is a big inspirational Rav, who gave inspiring speeches on RH, who is beloved and venerated a rebbe in a Yeshiva is screaming at me because I bought the wrong orange juice and bagels to break our fast on. I really don't want to live anymore. But then I think, why do I have to die? I didn't do anything. But I don't see any other way.

You didnt do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you . Dont let your husband speak to you in that way . Tell him to buy his own bagels and orange juice if he isnt happy with what you purchased . You can then tell him to practice what he preaches. Is there a rav that he is close to? Maybe you can speak to that rav and tell him how your husband is treating you .
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amother




Taupe


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 6:06 pm
I wish it were that simple. He twists everything I say. The line about practicing what he preaches never works - he says that I am the phony. He says something hurtful and denies it two seconds later. I feel as if I am losing my mind. He has me convinced that I am in the wrong. I'm the only wife who doesn't do what her husband wants - like buy him the correct bagels and orange juice. As for asking a Rav he is close to - I once tried that and the Rav said to me - why don't you just speak to your husband - he's so calm and reasonable. That is not the only bad experience I've had with a Rav. I have given up on them. Do they realize how much guts it took me to approach them in the first place? No one would ever believe me. He would make me out to be the crazy one.
I literally feel like an empty shell of a person, just going through the motions of life. I am so done. I am ready to check out - the only thing stopping me is my kids.
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Goldy6




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 4:36 am
Taupe, when you say you're ready to check out, what do you mean? From your marriage? or from life? I don't know all of the details but just from the snippet this sounds abusive. If you PM me I can try to get you a name of a therapist who might be able to help. You don't have to suffer through this alone.
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