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Bad experience with school and Project Yes

 
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 8:53 am
We have a daughter who shoud be entering High School this week. Our other children never had a problem entering any school they wanted to, so this is a new experience for us. Throughout the summer we were in touch with the school where our older children attended and were excellent students, and we were told that if our daughter accomplishes certain things in the summer, they will likely admit her. She did as told and other good things as well.

Throughout the summer we were in touch with the school and were told to call back a week later, again and again. Now one week before school we are told by Project Yes that "the school only said that", not wanting to say no.

This was very deceptive. As parents that have never dealt with this situation before, we are now a week before school and lost in the woods.

How did anyone benefit by the school telling us ONE week before, rather than earlier, that they can't take her? We would not have liked hearing the no, but the sooner we would have heard it- the better for all. If this is their idea of being nice- it's not that nice.

Now any school we approach looks at us as desperate, and she has a smaller chance of getting in anywhere.

Project Yes is defending the school and saying we should have understood them not wanting to say no, and they say the only solution is to go through the phone book and call all the girl's schools in the area one by one, a week before school. They have no way to help us.

Any helpful ideas?
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 9:35 am
Where do I begin? What would you say on the phone to schools to increase chances of success?
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:03 am
UPDATE- All classes are full in all schools in my borough. I never even got a chance to say my name.
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:17 am
so here goes the thought ... #1 the school was WRONG and how is project yes helping you cause it sure don't seem like it - are they advocates and for what ... we were too stupid to say NO ... #2 you and only you are the best advocate for your daughter ... what is the problem and why won't the schools take her ... does she have certain issues - learning disabilities - or better yet are they just against some sort of "she doesn't fit in" mode that they have created ... #3 go to the Board of Education in your area if she needs any educational assessments they are mandated by law to take care of same - including all costs and expenses ... and an Individual Education Plan would have to be put in place and followed by any school she attends ...

I too went through similar stitch with dd years back ... and yes they waited for school to start instead of the logical advice at the close of the previous school year ... this way the start is smooth ...

sorry for what you are going through ... but just take one thing at a time ... and it can be done ...
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:23 am
It's Hashkafa issues, nothing the Board of Ed can help with.

And she did what was asked of her by the school.
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:28 am
then that is very wrong of the school ... I would lose enough respect for them that I wouldn't want my dd there anyway ...

chances are she will be happy in another school ... hard to find at last minute ... but still can be done ... she needs to feel that she belongs - that simple ... in a place that respects her haskafa and her family's haskafa - wherever they might be ...

are there enough schools where you live ... look into them and hurry so she starts with the rest of the school ... on time...
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:38 am
greenfire wrote:
look into them and hurry so she starts with the rest of the school ... on time...
I just tried them all, and all responded with no openings. She doesn't want to go "out of town" and we're happy about that, bec. neither do we want it, we want to have an eye on her.
It's a shame that all the Rabbonim I would have gone to eagerly for advice have died recently.
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 10:49 am
then just look a bit out of the way ... she can be bussed ... different neighborhood ... perhaps a different type of school ...
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Nomad




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 11:41 am
can you speak to any of the higher ups in the school? principal? dean? and insist they take care of this?
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su7kids




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 11:42 am
There must be more to the story of Project Yes is involved, surely? Can't just be Hashkofa.

Is there anyone in the original school YOU can appeal to?

Can you go to the office and sit there and beg until they DO take your daughter?
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 11:50 am
btw I once did that ... with all the hanhala not just principal but the top of the top of the top ...
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amother






Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 2:33 pm
[quote="su7kids"]There must be more to the story of Project Yes is involved, surely? [quote]It was my choice to approach Project Yes after seeing it advertised in all the newspapers for help with problems with kids/schools, just in case there'd be difficulty getting her into a high school. A mentor there tells me they're there strictly to improve relationships between parents and kids, and nothing else. No help with schools.
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su7kids




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 29 2007, 2:45 pm
[quote="amother"][quote="su7kids"]There must be more to the story of Project Yes is involved, surely?
Quote:
It was my choice to approach Project Yes after seeing it advertised in all the newspapers for help with problems with kids/schools, just in case there'd be difficulty getting her into a high school. A mentor there tells me they're there strictly to improve relationships between parents and kids, and nothing else. No help with schools.


So, they didn't mislead you, did they? I just feel that they're such an awesome organization for what they do, that its kinda not fair to say you had a bad experience with THEM when it was the school that let you down.

Just clarifying.
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Barbara




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 30 2007, 8:13 pm
You need to immediately contact your rabbi and the principal of the school that your daughter graduated from. Explain the situation and ask for help. Chances are that one or both will be able to pull some strings to get your daughter admitted to *a* school. After all, it looks bad for her previous school if one of its students was unable to secure a position anywhere.

If you know anyone on the board of the school at issue, now is the time to ask for a favor. Explain the situation clearly, including an admission of your own role in this -- the school told you that they might be able to admit your daughter if she did certain things, because of your prior affiliation with the school with your older kids, you mistakenly believed that was a guarantee, they turned her down notwithstanding that she did everything asked of her, you're at your wits end because you didn't make contingent arrangments. Even if you don't know someone, I'd at least take another shot at the director of admissions. If you're able to pay full tuition (no scholarship request), I'd make that clear.

In the meantime, you need to figure out what you're going to do if nothing immediately pans out.
-- Are you able to homeschool? If so, you're going to need to figure out whether you need to file papers with anyone, and get started.
-- Are you willing to send her to a co-ed school until you can get her into an all girls' school? If so, start calling around.

Good luck.

Barbara (newbie)
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Motek




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 31 2007, 1:43 pm
Sounds outrageous on the part of the school and on the part of Project YES but I haven't heard their side. Would it help to contact Rabbi Horowitz of Project YES? How about finding an appropriate article on his blog and posting a comment in response there. R' Horowitz will see it.
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