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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
4 Year old with a Pacifier
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yenta2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 9:56 am
My 4 year old DD is still using a pacifier when she goes to sleep or when she is in a bad mood, should I try to wean her off? I am afraid she will be 10 and be addicted to her pacifier.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 10:13 am
Cold turkey. She's way too old

Throw them away.

It will be loud and painful for a few nights
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 10:17 am
I don't think 4 is way to old. I know many kids older then 4 that still have one. I got rid of my kids paci'a by 4 but not cold turkey.
Started that she can only have it at night in bed & then took it away completely. Good luck!
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 10:19 am
yenta2 wrote:
My 4 year old DD is still using a pacifier when she goes to sleep or when she is in a bad mood, should I try to wean her off? I am afraid she will be 10 and be addicted to her pacifier.


TAKE IT AWAY! This will affect her dental development and speech. Sincerely, speech-language pathologist
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yenta2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 10:24 am
I tried a half a year ago she couldn't sleep and was grumpy all day,
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 10:44 am
yenta2 wrote:
I tried a half a year ago she couldn't sleep and was grumpy all day,


She'll get over it. It's got to go.
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lfab




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 11:28 am
4 is too old for a pacifier. She needs to learn other ways to soothe herself to sleep. Maybe try replacing the pacifier with some other item she can use such as a blanket, stuffed animal, etc. Doesn't give the same oral stimulation but it may be enough for her to feel like she has something "special" to take to bed with her. Even if not just take it away. Tell her now she is a big girl and is too old for a pacifier. One idea is to find someone you know who recently had a baby. Tell her since she is too big for them now but you know they are special to her so she can "share" them with this new baby so that they can enjoy them (obviously baby's mommy will throw them out later and not actually use them). Another idea is to schedule a visit to the dentist and have him tell her that she needs to stop using a pacifier as it's not good for her teeth. Bring along all the pacifiers in the house and have her give them to the dentist. She may be cranky and grumpy for a few days but she will adjust soon enough.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 11:33 am
I'll be the voice of dissent here. She will get rid of it when she is ready. I have a very mature five year old son who still has his. Dentist told me that he, like my other children will give it up when they are ready.
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 12:10 pm
amother wrote:
I'll be the voice of dissent here. She will get rid of it when she is ready. I have a very mature five year old son who still has his. Dentist told me that he, like my other children will give it up when they are ready.


Do not listen to this poster.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 12:16 pm
amother wrote:
Do not listen to this poster.


Agree . A mature 5 year old wouldn't need a pacifier?
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 12:53 pm
Has she gone to the dentist? I'd let the dentist tell her it is time to be done. I think by 4 most kids are old enough to listen and do it painlessly. Add a chart and prize and it should hopefully be quick and easy.
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yenta2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 1:00 pm
sky wrote:
Has she gone to the dentist? I'd let the dentist tell her it is time to be done. I think by 4 most kids are old enough to listen and do it painlessly. Add a chart and prize and it should hopefully be quick and easy.

Yes we did go to the dentist but it didn't come up, a chart is a good idea she loves charts and getting prizes.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 1:08 pm
If she's walking around with it, then that is inappropriate at this age. But only in bed is fine. So what if that is how she finds some comfort. You don't need to answer to all the imamothers here. She wont need her pacifier when she's 10 years old! I let all my kids drink their bottles (resting in bed) until they gave it up on their own. They were not drinking from a bottle because they couldn't drink from a cup. They drank from cups the whole day! They just had some comfort in sucking the bottle .... it's fine. They all gave it up on their own. Aside for the 4 yr old .... but I'm sure he'll give that small comfort up soon. No pressure .... really who cares? Huge problem if they walk around with it and use it all the time ...but a few minutes a day??? Why be so cruel? The ladies who are yelling at you to take it away probably don't realize that kids eventually don't want these items at some point so yo don't need to use force.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 1:14 pm
My sister had orthodontia at age 5 because of the pacifier and thumb sucking. I would recommend working with her to get rid of it. I think my sister got her ears pierced when she gave it up.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 1:17 pm
yenta2 wrote:
Yes we did go to the dentist but it didn't come up, a chart is a good idea she loves charts and getting prizes.


When my daughter was about 3 1/2 I told her whenever she was ready to throw out her paci she would get something she really wanted. One day she told me it was in the garbage and she wanted her prize. There was no force and she chose when she was ready.

If your dentist didn't say anything then most likely it is not affecting her teeth which is one of the main reasons to get rid of it.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 1:28 pm
At four years it's time to ditch the pacifier. It shapes the mouth in a bad way. Find an alternative. I used a chart to help my daughter wean. Then she got a playmobile set at the end.
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 2:41 pm
amother wrote:
If she's walking around with it, then that is inappropriate at this age. But only in bed is fine. So what if that is how she finds some comfort. You don't need to answer to all the imamothers here. She wont need her pacifier when she's 10 years old! I let all my kids drink their bottles (resting in bed) until they gave it up on their own. They were not drinking from a bottle because they couldn't drink from a cup. They drank from cups the whole day! They just had some comfort in sucking the bottle .... it's fine. They all gave it up on their own. Aside for the 4 yr old .... but I'm sure he'll give that small comfort up soon. No pressure .... really who cares? Huge problem if they walk around with it and use it all the time ...but a few minutes a day??? Why be so cruel? The ladies who are yelling at you to take it away probably don't realize that kids eventually don't want these items at some point so yo don't need to use force.


Some of us "ladies who are yelling" are professionals who see the lasting effects of extended pacifier use. It's not pretty, and can affect speech and dental/jaw development. It's not cruel to gently tell a child that it's time to give up the pacifier, any more than it is "cruel" to potty train a child who is too old for diapers. There are other ways for children to find comfort, and a few nights of misery over giving up the paci never killed any child. OP, I think you know what you need to do. Good luck. Offer her a big reward when she is done with the pacifier! Smile
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 2:50 pm
mha3484 wrote:
My sister had orthodontia at age 5 because of the pacifier and thumb sucking. I would recommend working with her to get rid of it. I think my sister got her ears pierced when she gave it up.

I give pacifiers to prevent thumb ducking. If I stop too early, the thumb will go in.
From about a year, they only use it to sleep.
Thumb ducking gives horrible orthodontal problems. A pacifier is nowhere near as bad.
That said, most kids probably stop at 3, but some need a little longer.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 3:00 pm
Iymnok wrote:
I give pacifiers to prevent thumb ducking. If I stop too early, the thumb will go in.
From about a year, they only use it to sleep.
Thumb ducking gives horrible orthodontal problems. A pacifier is nowhere near as bad.
That said, most kids probably stop at 3, but some need a little longer.


Why are you so sure that it has to be one or the other (paci or thumb)? I never offered paci and my girl never sucked her thumb. Is that so unusual?
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amother
Purple


 

Post Thu, Nov 03 2016, 5:13 pm
pesek zman wrote:
Why are you so sure that it has to be one or the other (paci or thumb)? I never offered paci and my girl never sucked her thumb. Is that so unusual?


Yes! I have a newborn bH who will not settle down with out his paci! I am going out of my mind trying to get him to sleep with out it. I hate constantly having to re- plug and re- plug the paci.

How did you offer comfort or get her to sleep?
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