WWYD crying at babysitter

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Post  Wed, Nov 09 2016, 11:43 pm
My upstairs neighbour babysits babies in her house. I am home many mornings and hear kids crying. Everyday. For like 3-5 minutes at a time a few times a day. I've noticed that when children start crying she puts on really loud music. (to distract the kids? or to block out the noise for herself?) Someone I know was planning on sending to her and asked me about her. I felt responsible to give her my honest opinion, so I told her about the crying and mentioned that the lady seems a bit socially "off." (which is true, but maybe not detrimental to doing a good job babysitting 4 month olds?)

Would you do anything about this situation in general? I don't think there is anything much to do, but I feel so bad for the kids when they cry, I always think my decision over again...

and what would you say if s/o asked you for references?
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Post  Thu, Nov 10 2016, 12:09 am
I think it's normal for babies to cry a bit at any babysitter or even at home for that matter! Especially when you say it's only a couple minutes at a time.
That said, yes if she indeed seems "socially off"... I don't know. Can you try and get to know her though, before giving info on her?
And the loud music is funny, too. My bpd mom used to turn on music really loud whenever someone was crying or fighting or whatever... not normal. No.
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Post  Thu, Nov 10 2016, 6:40 am
I think if I were in your shoes, my answer would be, "I'm not so close to her. And since I never sent my kids there, I really can't offer you any feedback about her daycare. But with childcare, it's very important to get information from the people who do send there, and also to observe for yourself."

In other words, since you don't have any real information, you have to tread carefully so as not to either say motzi sheini ra,, or be responsible for putting a friend's child in a less than ideal situation.
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Post  Mon, May 06 2019, 11:37 pm
Babies cry. At home, or at a babysitter. As long as she is clearly addressing it, it is normal. As for the loud music, maybe she feels that it calms the kids down, or is trying to keep the crying from bothering the neighbors. I have had children by me that cried nonstop for several days (generally at the beginning), and turn on soft music whenever possible for the sake of my sanity. If the music is bothering you, say something - to her! As for being socially awkward, many of the best babysitters I have met are much more comfortable with babies than with adults.
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soap suds


Post  Mon, May 06 2019, 11:56 pm
It's ok if babies cry for a couple of minutes. I don't see any problem with that. Nothing wrong with playing music either. Maybe it's to calm the babies or maybe it helps her keep calm. I wouldn't worry about it.

Years ago, I used to babysit for my SIL. Her baby cried from the minute she dropped him off until she picked him up. He cried when I held him, he cried when I rocked him, he cried when I put him on the floor. He refused to take the bottle she left for him. The only time he was quiet was when he was sleeping. I don't know what my neighbor's were thinking. But there was literally nothing I could do to make him stop, except daven that he should fall asleep quickly and take a long nap.
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Post  Tue, May 07 2019, 12:08 am
I'm surprised you all think it's ok. Multiple babies should not be crying multiple times for several minutes. Sounds like she has her hands full (is there an assistant?) and can't tend to their needs right away.
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Post  Tue, May 07 2019, 12:13 am
This is an old thread... presumably the situation passed long ago.... just saying...
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Post  Tue, May 07 2019, 12:42 am
babies cry for many reasons - needing a diaper change, not liking having their diaper changed, hungry, tired, fighting over toys, etc. any mother knows this. sometimes a mother can see what her child needs before he cries, but it is unrealistic to expect this of a babysitter. if the children are generally happy and well cared for, crying that is obviously being addressed is not a reason for concern!
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