Question for mothers of Lakewood high school girls

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 1:58 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

If we didn't get any letters at all does that mean my daughter wasn't accepted anywhere?

Yes, but round 2 is when girls get accepted much more easily. It's like being on a waiting list except you don't know your number. Tell her that she'll get in it's just a matter of time.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 10:41 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

If we didn't get any letters at all does that mean my daughter wasn't accepted anywhere?

Just to make you feel less bad, your dd is not the only one.

In my daughters grade, out of all oldest girls/non-siblings, only two were accepted into a non-affiliated high school. All other oldest girls didn’t get accepted anywhere. Presumably, they have a slot in their schools brand new hs, but it still goes to show how by hem only siblings received acceptance letters so far.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:35 am

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Are you talking about bnos Bracha? It’s a different story because once your school has a high school affiliated with it then other schools and the vaad pushes other schools not to accept girls from that school because these girls have a high school to go to. It’s a sad ststenthis acceptance routine but that is what it is.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 5:34 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I am lol

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 9:42 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

That is wild. What happens to the girls in BB who didn’t apply to the new HS. Not all of them did...

Tbh, I know that some siblings didn’t apply to bb new hs, but I don’t know whether any non-siblings didn’t apply there.
I think it’s about half of the grade of non-siblings, and so far only two were accepted some place else. Not sure if anyone applied elsewhere and not to bb hs.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 11:37 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

That is wild. What happens to the girls in BB who didn’t apply to the new HS. Not all of them did...

It’s not fair to them but the vaad will have to help them or B.B. high school
Will have to accept them they won’t have a choice.

But once an elementary school
Has a high school then the high schools don’t feel that they should accept girls from that elementary school any more

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 12:00 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

The Vaad won't help them if their school has a HS. In dd's case, she's the only non-sibling that got into another h.s. We were warned a million times to apply to dd's h.s. so we don't stay stuck (but we didn't).

byisrael

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 2:51 am

I grew up in Lkwd - it is crazy that what I had to go thru 15 years ago has just gotten worse over the years!!!

I actually have a radical solution that everyone would hate at the begining but that I thik could eventually work well.

Every elementry school without a HS gets paired up with the HS that they tend to feed into (Bnos Yaakov to Oros for example). Every girl gets a slot in her schools HS. Bais Faiga is so big and diverse that I would pair them with Bais Kaila and Bais Yaakov and every girls is guaranteed a slot in one of the schools. Then there is open registration for anyone who wants to go to a HS not affiliated the the elementry school they attend. This way most girls continue with the elementry school they where in which usually a good fit and you get rid of the Vaad dumping girls into schools that they never applied to. The HS's won't have a ton of slots for girls not from the elementry schools affiliated so really the only transfers would be girls who really need a change....

The problem with this plan is that the elementry schools will become even harder to get into. My solution for that is what is done here in isreal - bais yaakov is assigned by where you live. Anyways people tend to live in areas with other people with similar values, and it's really nice to have your neighbors as classmates....

lkwdgirl

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 5:38 am

That’s a very interesting idea BUT I feel that a change of friends is healthy. It’s nice to have a couple friends with you starting off in a new school BUT having the same class for a 8/9th year does not help develop maturity personality. IY”H everyone will find the right place for them including of course my daughter (I’m the one who restarted this topic last week)

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 6:45 am

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

There is no school by that name. There is the Yeshiva of Greater Washington and both Bais Yaakov and Bnos Yisroel in Baltimore. Yeshiva of Greater Washington has not has the best reputation of late with regards to the girls they take. The really good girls in Silver Spring have been going to school in Baltimore as a result. Please do research if you are really interested in OOT school options.

Can't agree more.

byisrael

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 8:41 am

lkwdgirl wrote:

Im"h!!!

The change of friends would still happen because you could mix up the classes from the bigger elementry schools and in the smaller elementry schools you would have to have two feeder schools per HS anyways.

The current situation is un healthy and unsustainable. It seems to be getting worse every year. The girls who didn't get in my year untill a few days before school always felt unwanted, they where great girls who just really struggled academicly - my friend said that HS was torture for her because every time she got a bad mark it was a reminder that she was unwanted. There needs to be a major change in the system....

Emotional

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 9:39 am

My husband rents workspace and a few guys from unrelated businesses also rent space in the same location.
A guy who my husband barely knows, I'll call him Nochum Nebachstein, comes over to my husband like this:
"My daughter is the BEST girl in her class in Bais Tova. No seriously, she really IS the best. She got accepted to BOTH Shiras Devorah and Oros, and we just CAN'T decide..."
My husband politely smiled and congratulated him, but the next statement:
"In fact our daughter is so desirable that Bais Tova pays US to send her to their school..."
My husband wasn't sure what to make of that statement, or even whether or not to believe it.
When I heard this, all I wanted to do was ask for the guy's tehillim name, and for his daughter's. All this bragging can't be good for their mazel.

Chayalle

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 9:41 am

lkwdgirl wrote:

this might be true for some people, I don't know. I have never understood or seen any benefit to the system as it is, and this whole "need for a change of friends". My own experience with two girls having gone thru the system, is that by the time 8th grade came, they were finally comfortable with their class, friends, etc...only to be thrown out to start all over again in a new place, totally new people, totally new environment. I have seen that it can take a year or two for them to find their place again, and I don't see the necessity or the benefit at all.

I should've chosen to send my girls to a school with an affiliated high school....oh well.

keym

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 9:56 am

Chayalle wrote:

However as a mother who hasn't quite reached this stage, I agree with a previous poster.
If we were required or pressured to send to the affiliated high school, it would put elementary school decisions to be that much more stressful.
I have so many friends who aren't thrilled with their daughters elementary school (friends or hanhala) but they ride it out until the fresh start highschool.
If we had to decide before our oldest daughter goes to primary where our whole family belongs- no switching, I can't imagine the insanity.

Chayalle

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 10:08 am

keym wrote:

I hear that. I guess my POV comes from my being pretty happy with the elementary school my girls went to, and wishing they didn't have to have that upheaval when they were so settled.

I think if there were more affiliated schools and more people presumably just staying put, there would not be such an issue accommodating the occasional student needing a change.

In fact, I'm a product of that kind of situation myself. I was really not very happy with the elementary school I attended - not a good fit for me for various reasons - so my parents sent me to a different high school - instead of going to their hs, I just went to the local large BY for high school. It wasn't so difficult to make the switch - few phone calls, etc...because the town I was in didn't have such a mass migration to high school back then (sadly, I hear it's much more complicated today....like everyplace else...)

naturalmom5

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 10:37 am

Emotional wrote:

met that girl, she was outside Starbucks on Motzi Shabbos, wearing shorts. LOL

Chayalle

Tue, Jun 04 2019, 10:59 am

Emotional wrote:

I think I once hosted his sister for Shabbos. They had a Simcha at a neighbors and I was putting them up. Nechy Nebachstein.

All Shabbos she went on and on to me about the people she is connected to, and the school her kids got into, and who she knows that effected all of this, and how wonderful her family is, etc....(different school, and not one I was even interested in. But she was sure I was green with envy. How could I not be?)

On Shabbos afternoon, a friend of mine came over. Nechy started on my friend, same speech. Paused for breath, asked my friend where she sends her kids. Friend answered simply, Bais xxxx (pretty well-known, good school). Nechy asked her why she sends her kids there, and friend answered that her aunt is the principal.

I could just see Nechy's face turn colors. I mean, here was someone (unintentionally) one-upping her. Too much to handle!