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Question for mothers of Lakewood high school girls
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 10:27 am
Notsobusy wrote:
From the girls I know who went there, BBY has a well deserved bad reputation. Most of the girls I know who weren't happy there were there during the old administration, some are there now. It definitely sounds better now than it used to be, but Sienna, you should really check it out well irl to make sure you dd will be happy there.


And I know a mature and refined girl who had a nightmarish experience in a top school. She was a good girl but was treated poorly by the principal. My guess was that she wasn't shtoltzy enough for the school. If she had any clout combined with good LH, she could've brought down their reputation too.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 10:33 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
It's a very happy and warm environment. OTOH, I can't imagine a super large school having the same level of warmth and coziness.


How many classes are in each grade
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 10:43 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
How many classes are in each grade

2 as of now. I can't vouch for incoming grade.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 11:52 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
Would you send your own daughter to bby?

Amother if you want thentruth then you
Better ask people in real life why they are or aren’t happy here everyone is going to aaya amazing things because it’s yenim going and why should we say lashon hara?

Also what type of person is your daughter? Definitely it’s a more open minded kind of clientele who sends there.

I only know one person who goes there who is miserable and said that the principal just makes up new rules every day and doesn’t let the girls breathe she is down their back. I don’t know the school besides for this person sonit could be an amazing school I’m not saying to trust me, all I’m saying is the school has a bad name so research it. Is thwnname legit?

Honestly no one on here knows you or your daughter so no one is going to say lashon hara about the school and I don’t think it’s even allowed to write lashon hara. Either call the school and ask for ten girls that already go to the school or find one mother who sends there and ask her who to call.

But don’t go in. Blindly and don’t be afraid to ask as many people as you need


My own daughter asked me this question when she was an 8th grader and someone close to her didn't get into any of the high schools she had applied to (but was offered a spot in BBY and refused it, held out all summer, and then got into a different high school that was not either one she applied to but was willing to accept at that point. And could've gotten in there to begin with, but was determined to try for one of the more hard-to-get-into schools.)

She asked me - Ma, what would you do if it was me? Would you send me to BBY?

And I said absolutely yes. It's a school with good, well-intentioned people running it. There are loads of girls who go there, some of whom are your type and some of whom aren't, just like every school. If you went there, you would do your best to be the best you can be, just like in the high school you are going to.

I think much ado is made of schools. And much disappointment resulting.

When said DD was in 11th grade, I heard (from someone reliable) that 10 girls from one of the bang-their-doors-down high schools applied to transfer to her high school, because they were miserable and not doing well there. The school could not accept them in fairness to the existing girls - they did accept 3 of them, all of whom I believe were daughters of their own alumnae.

There are no guarantees, anywhere. But if you have a positive atmosphere and attitude in your home, and an open relationship with your daughter, she can thrive in any decent school.

Just to add, I've had something to do with Mrs. Hebel, the principal of BBY, as I've been involved with helping a student in the school in a certain capacity. I have only good things to say about her. She is a Mechaneches who truly cares about her students, and is a really smart person, too. I should add that that particular student really likes the school, and chose it over one of the other "top" schools as an 8th grader - so she actually wasn't placed there by the Vaad.

I've also met BBY graduates who are truly impressive young ladies. I shmoozed a few times with some of them, as they were employed in a summer job at an establishment I frequented. Both of them were going to top, hard-to-get-into seminaries.

I'm not saying not to do research, I'm not saying not to check if the school is not a good fit for your child...but don't just discount a school because people in this town are so hung up on image that they are convinced they must go only to a school that somehow has the name they think they need.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 11:59 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
And I know a mature and refined girl who had a nightmarish experience in a top school. She was a good girl but was treated poorly by the principal. My guess was that she wasn't shtoltzy enough for the school. If she had any clout combined with good LH, she could've brought down their reputation too.


I know a few such girls, and from more than one school.

Just imagine this one - a friend of DD's went to a certain "top" school in town. A frum, sweet, sincere girl. When it came time for seminary applications, she wanted to apply to a certain seminary...and the principal would not give her an application, but told her that the applications for that seminary were reserved for students who are "better" than she is.
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 12:05 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I know a few such girls, and from more than one school.

Just imagine this one - a friend of DD's went to a certain "top" school in town. A frum, sweet, sincere girl. When it came time for seminary applications, she wanted to apply to a certain seminary...and the principal would not give her an application, but told her that the applications for that seminary were reserved for students who are "better" than she is.

Surprised Surprised Surprised
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 12:20 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I know a few such girls, and from more than one school.

Just imagine this one - a friend of DD's went to a certain "top" school in town. A frum, sweet, sincere girl. When it came time for seminary applications, she wanted to apply to a certain seminary...and the principal would not give her an application, but told her that the applications for that seminary were reserved for students who are "better" than she is.


That's very, very sad to hear! Crying
I know someone that sent to bby who was very very happy! Her daughter already graduated and in seminary now!
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 12:36 pm
I honestly think a lot it has to do with attitude. A girl who makes the best of wherever she is will always be happy. Happiness breeds success. A girl who heard her parents badmouth a school for months and then ends up there will be miserable.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Thu, Jun 06 2019, 8:58 pm
Does anyone know when the schools are sending out the second round of answers? Do they all send the same day?
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Sat, Jun 15 2019, 11:44 pm
Anything new about second round?
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amother




Sienna


Post  Sun, Jun 16 2019, 11:50 am
Chayalle wrote:
My own daughter asked me this question when she was an 8th grader and someone close to her didn't get into any of the high schools she had applied to (but was offered a spot in BBY and refused it, held out all summer, and then got into a different high school that was not either one she applied to but was willing to accept at that point. And could've gotten in there to begin with, but was determined to try for one of the more hard-to-get-into schools.)

She asked me - Ma, what would you do if it was me? Would you send me to BBY?

And I said absolutely yes. It's a school with good, well-intentioned people running it. There are loads of girls who go there, some of whom are your type and some of whom aren't, just like every school. If you went there, you would do your best to be the best you can be, just like in the high school you are going to.

I think much ado is made of schools. And much disappointment resulting.

When said DD was in 11th grade, I heard (from someone reliable) that 10 girls from one of the bang-their-doors-down high schools applied to transfer to her high school, because they were miserable and not doing well there. The school could not accept them in fairness to the existing girls - they did accept 3 of them, all of whom I believe were daughters of their own alumnae.

There are no guarantees, anywhere. But if you have a positive atmosphere and attitude in your home, and an open relationship with your daughter, she can thrive in any decent school.

Just to add, I've had something to do with Mrs. Hebel, the principal of BBY, as I've been involved with helping a student in the school in a certain capacity. I have only good things to say about her. She is a Mechaneches who truly cares about her students, and is a really smart person, too. I should add that that particular student really likes the school, and chose it over one of the other "top" schools as an 8th grader - so she actually wasn't placed there by the Vaad.

I've also met BBY graduates who are truly impressive young ladies. I shmoozed a few times with some of them, as they were employed in a summer job at an establishment I frequented. Both of them were going to top, hard-to-get-into seminaries.

I'm not saying not to do research, I'm not saying not to check if the school is not a good fit for your child...but don't just discount a school because people in this town are so hung up on image that they are convinced they must go only to a school that somehow has the name they think they need.


Thank you all who responded. I've spoken with several girls currently in Bnos Bais Yaakov (mostly 9th graders) and this is what I heard: The owners of the school are genuinely good people who give the school a warm, caring environment. They have a whole list of people to speak to about any problem (guidance counselor, academic advisor, etc.) so no girl gets lost in the shuffle. The teachers are really nice. And there are mostly very good, fine girls from good families.

I heard no complaints about the owners of the school or any teachers at all - to the contrary, as one girl put it - "the problem is, they're ALL nice". Which brings me to the complaints I heard. It seems that a small number of immature 9th graders take advantage of the fact that everyone is so nice and feel they don't have to follow school rules or behave in class. The school worked with them and their parents but the girls just continued to take advantage of this warm, caring approach. Some girls and parents complained to the school about class being disrupted and girls not following the school rules, thus potentially giving the school a bad name, so it seems the school had no choice but to finally take a harder approach with these girls.

It looks like the unenviable task fell to the principal, who now had to crack down on these girls - who don't appreciate having to actually behave and follow school rules - so they're the ones complaining about the "new rules". I spoke to one of these girls and I believe her complaints had no merit - she was just being immature. None of the other girls had these complaints - they were very happy with all aspects of the school and had no problem with the principal or any of the rules. I actually found it encouraging that some of the girls themselves complained about the disruptive girls - this shows that the school has mostly good girls, b'h.
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JoyInTheMorning




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jun 16 2019, 2:14 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I know a few such girls, and from more than one school.

Just imagine this one - a friend of DD's went to a certain "top" school in town. A frum, sweet, sincere girl. When it came time for seminary applications, she wanted to apply to a certain seminary...and the principal would not give her an application, but told her that the applications for that seminary were reserved for students who are "better" than she is.


OMG. The same exact thing happens in Modern Orthodox and pluralistic schools when they apply to college. The kids who have done spectacularly well or who have connections to (are legacy at) Ivy League universities get the top guidance counselor. The others get the other guidance counselors. There students are again divided by guidance counselor's impression. The guidance counselors will write only a limited number of rave recommendations for students. The others are told not to waste their time reaching for a school that is beyond them. Nothing prevents you from applying but realistically with competition so fierce, if any part of your application package is the least bit lacking, it won't happen.

I find it so interesting. I moved from the JPF world to the MO world years back, but really much of the change I see isn't due to my own move. It's due to societal changes, which affect all groups in society, including all groups in Orthodoxy. Back in the day, all of this just wasn't a big deal. You applied to the CUNY college that was nearest to your home address. You applied to seminary. You got in, because everyone got in, unless you were extraordinarily unqualified in some way. So much less pressure.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Sun, Jun 16 2019, 2:16 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
Anything new about second round?


No. But you should def be in touch with your daughters current school to assess where she is holding.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Tue, Aug 06 2019, 7:42 am
Anyone have any good news to share?
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