BReakfast "tantrum"

Rochel Leah

Tue, Oct 19 2004, 8:36 pm

Nearly every morning, my son hasnt eaten a proper breakfast....if I do not give itto him at the right time or I feed him first, he throws a fit and wont eat ,

I try letting him feed himself , but once he is in his mood, he throws the food down.

any ideas?

Tefila

Wed, Oct 20 2004, 12:23 am

Fine Let him throw a fit in his bedroom and hold the door shut till he calms down. Then you can tell him You don't throw a fit when u don't have your way noone in this house does and if he listens to you he will get a sticker or treat if not and he gets into a tantrum again than in his bedroom he goes be firm it may happen a few more times till he gets the message.
Remember not only is this important for you but it is also important for the siblings.
Hope this helps!

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 10:25 am

here are some ieas:
-give him fod that he can eat byhimslef & wil not make much mess
(crackers, bread sticks, serial w/out milk, etc)

- as soon as the tantrum begins, remove the food, tell him 'we do not scream, I will be back when you calm down' & leave the room. (make sure he can't get hurt by falling out of the high chair/ booster/ whatever you use while you're gone)

-come back & smile when the tantrum is over

-repeat untill he learns that you mean it.

-give lunch a bit earlier so he won't be too hungry

good luck!

Rochel Leah

Sun, Nov 21 2004, 12:09 pm

FY, thanks for the tips....I know this is alittle late..but he stopped and now he is starting again. with food that doesnt make mess, he throws down very angrily (such a word?). He will not uderstand if I leave the room, he will continue till I come back. I would take him out of the high chair put him onthe floor and he will throw a major tantrum including banging his head wherever he finds a hard place...the leg of a chair the walls.. he is hurting himself so how can I ignore that?

I will pick him for 'hug' therapy as some people suggested but he is completely not in control of himself it doesnt help. for how long can I let him go at it alone?

this happened alot while he was getting his bcak teeth - so I knew he was in pain and couldnt deal with nay more stress but now the tooth is all in and he continue with his outbursts..

ForeverYoung
Guest

Sun, Nov 21 2004, 1:49 pm

Rochel Leah, may be try this:

I'm not sure why he throws the food -
too hard/ soft, doesn't taste right, too hot/ cold?

find 1-3 foods he really likes & than try what I wrote ^.

Hug therapy - use it the entire day - not only during the tantrum -
every 30 min, time yourself - and see if in a week or so the tantrums go down.

Quote:

he is hurting himself so how can I ignore that?

some children will do wahtever it takes to get attention or what they want.
some even stop breathing & turn blue & faint -
and guess what??
as soon as they faint they resume normal breathing & do just fine!!
So try to IGNORE it or confine him in a safe spot, like his crib.
(I can't let you hurt yourself. You have to stay in the crib until you stop crying. I love you)

Remember not to be annoyed or angry - calm, smile, consern for him. Explain your actions and what is expected of him.

I know it's much easyer said than done, so good luck to you and I hope it stops soon!!! Wink

gryp

Sun, Nov 21 2004, 3:07 pm

my kid (16 months) sticks his finger down his throat for attention! I dont know how he learned that, but I just ignore him so he'll stop, but im always petrified he'll make himself throw up!

Rochel Leah, I also have a tantrum champion. its tough and im just waiting for it to finally pass... on to the terrible twos!

does he shake his head "no" if he doesnt want a certain food, or he just throws it on the floor? does he have a favorite color bowl he likes to use?
maybe this will work: I have to take a bite out of every food he eats, before he agrees to eat it. maybe try it. (I feel like im the servant who has to taste the food for poison before the king eats it...)

do you give him attention during his tantrums? maybe out him in his crib/safe place like Foreveryoung wrote, as soon as he starts his tantrum, and ignore him until hes done. that way he learns he gets nothing out of his tantrum except his crib and being ignored.

let us know how it goes. I know what its like to have a baby on the floor screaming, bumping his head, and trying to hurt himself...

sarahd

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 4:37 pm

RG wrote:

do you give him attention during his tantrums? maybe out him in his crib/safe place like Foreveryoung wrote, as soon as he starts his tantrum, and ignore him until hes done. that way he learns he gets nothing out of his tantrum except his crib and being ignored.

I heard that one should not use the crib as a punishment place: you don't want your child to think that going to the crib/going to sleep is a punishment.

Rochel Leah

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 6:41 pm

Sarahd, I heard that too.

Now if I dont hold him when he wants me too, he starts banging his head really hard on the wall. I dont give him attention for it anymore and he has started to calm down. but now I feel bad, cus three teeth have emerged and maybe he was acting up because he was in pain from that. I had no warning sighns of teething...no droolling.

but bh he is eating better and not throwing the food..but giving him a favourite wouldnt have helped and if I ate the food first then he would feed me the food instead of himself.

sarahd

Thu, Dec 02 2004, 3:46 am

Rochel Leah wrote:

but giving him a favourite wouldnt have helped and if I ate the food first then he would feed me the food instead of himself.

At least you know you've trained your son well, to give the food off his plate to the hungry!!

Rochel Leah

Thu, Dec 02 2004, 9:04 am

Sarahd, B'H at the store or park, he always gives his cookies/crakers/sandwich to people around....the funniest was on afast day in the supermarket he was giving his snandwich to a frum lady and she would take it but wasnt eating it and it got him very upset.