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SOS! Drowning in kids' treasures!



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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:25 am
Remember my big midwinter organization? It really worked. I mean, to an extent. Of course I had to redo it a few times and of course things look messy when I slack but I really did make more space.

And then my kids' treasures expanded to fill all that space and then some. They are slowly spreading across the floors and up the shelves and into all the nooks and crannies like a bad case of invasive mold.

I really sympathize with them because I also was very into my treasures when I was a kid. But I was a "bas zekunim" who had a whole room to myself that used to be occupied by a number of kids who grew up and moved out, so I could hoard almost as much as I wanted without feeling the pinch and with nobody else really noticing or caring all that much. So I really feel bad trying to encourage my kids to be more selective with their trash just because they have the luck to be living in an apartment that's only a bit bigger than my bedroom was when I was their age.

1 - How do you teach kids (ages 4-6) to prune their collections without disrespecting their individuality and personal space/property rights?

2 - Even after pruning there is still enough left to be an organizational headache. And somehow they accumulate so much STUFF that even though I have had some pretty successful pruning sessions with DD6 in the past, there was still a lot of overflow.

I really wish the teachers would stop sending home so much stuff. A booklet for every occasion is cute but then the kids want to hold onto it forever. And really you can find ways to motivate little kids without prizes every week or so. It's bad enough that the kids "need" to keep the box your watch came in and the glob of dried-up glitter glue that is so beautiful, now add to that a treasure box full of the best of oriental trading as well as the Sukkos activity book (it's yom tov, when are the kids even doing the activities? They just save them forever "for a rainy day" and then spend that rainy day doing something completely different.) And for heaven's sake stop wasting time and money laminating things - it's fine if they fall apart and end up in the trash. I don't need my first grader to still be holding onto her fancy purim puppets from nursery school because they look so real. If they'd been made out of plain paper they would have been retired ages ago. Go back to giving mishloach manos in flimsy cellophane bags.

OK, I've vented enough. Practical solutions please?!
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:46 am
Give them each a box/bin. They can fill it up until it's full and then they have to decide.

We got these in the large size: https://www.amazon.com/gp/prod.....psc=1

I stack them up 4 high and each can put stuff in it. We mostly use it for school projects and stuff so I can throw stuff out when they aren't aware. It works well for us.
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mo5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:48 am
Each of my kids has a drawer or an under bed storage container. When that's full, they need to choose what to throw out. They also have an archive box where we put away papers they really want to keep and 3-4 times a year those come down from high up and we put away the accumulated papers (and prune what's there).
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:49 am
Done that. It didn't work. They just can't contain it... I gave each one a drawer in one of those wheelie 3-drawer sterilite type carts. Quite roomy. Not enough. Also probably the wrong shape because they're deep and things can get lost in there. In addition to that I gave each one a shelf of one of those paper-organizing racks and told them the same thing, that when it starts to get full then they need to purge. That seems to be working OK for works in progress, which had been an issue because they kept abandoning coloring pages "to finish later," but then there are the "for keeps" things which even I have to admit is unreasonable to fit in there - like those darned school booklets, special projects, etc.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:50 am
mo5 wrote:
Each of my kids has a drawer or an under bed storage container. When that's full, they need to choose what to throw out. They also have an archive box where we put away papers they really want to keep and 3-4 times a year those come down from high up and we put away the accumulated papers (and prune what's there).

How big are your containers/archive boxes? Trying to get an idea of what's reasonable to expect from kids.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 10:55 am
seeker wrote:
How big are your containers/archive boxes? Trying to get an idea of what's reasonable to expect from kids.


Egg box size?


Last edited by amother on Fri, Jan 10 2020, 10:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 11:28 am
Snap a picture!

Kids may be more willing to part with their treasures if they have some control over choosing which ones go, and when. Help them set their own rules - discard after one or two weeks, for example. Or do a big "giveaway day" with each change of seasons, or whatever works. Then the child takes a photo of the item and adds it to a digital photo album.

We also have a house rule that craft projects, once hung on the wall, go away once they fall down. No replacement tape allowed. This was originally because of my allergies (it's amazing how much dust collects on these masterpieces) but also keeps stuff from building up and gives more room to hang the new pictures.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 11:34 am
Yep, the wall ones somehow seem to go more easily. Moral: I should hang more things on the wall.

I've done photos for 3-d school projects. Maybe that could work for some of the paper goods too. The "tchotchkas" are going to be harder. And I feel like crying whenever DD6 "rescues" something from the literal garbage pile (like the dried glob of glitter glue. That was a real, genuine example. Logically it only takes up about 5mm but...but...) And DD4 keeps making Very Important things by chopping up paper that all looks the same but she will know if you throw any away. I have been guilty of mistaking them for garbage sometimes and believe me guilty is the right word.
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mo5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 11:40 am
seeker wrote:
How big are your containers/archive boxes? Trying to get an idea of what's reasonable to expect from kids.

The standard size archive boxes from an office store.
Re papers and booklets from school- I repeat over and over to my kids that once the yomtov /special time is passed, we recycle the book. If they really want to keep it for a bit- it goes into their drawer (not too deep to get lost- that's where the wax they collected from the Chanukah menorahs went too Wink and the drawer ends up cleaned out more often. Rule is- if it can't be put away somewhere, we can't keep it.
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mo5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 11:42 am
seeker wrote:
Yep, the wall ones somehow seem to go more easily. Moral: I should hang more things on the wall.

I've done photos for 3-d school projects. Maybe that could work for some of the paper goods too. The "tchotchkas" are going to be harder. And I feel like crying whenever DD6 "rescues" something from the literal garbage pile (like the dried glob of glitter glue. That was a real, genuine example. Logically it only takes up about 5mm but...but...) And DD4 keeps making Very Important things by chopping up paper that all looks the same but she will know if you throw any away. I have been guilty of mistaking them for garbage sometimes and believe me guilty is the right word.

Let her put her papers away in a bag and put her bag in her designated storage
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 11:49 am
mo5 wrote:
The standard size archive boxes from an office store.
Re papers and booklets from school- I repeat over and over to my kids that once the yomtov /special time is passed, we recycle the book. If they really want to keep it for a bit- it goes into their drawer (not too deep to get lost- that's where the wax they collected from the Chanukah menorahs went too Wink and the drawer ends up cleaned out more often. Rule is- if it can't be put away somewhere, we can't keep it.


I have a similar rule. If there is no more space on the fridge/wall for more artwork, some old piece has got to come off. If there is no space in their drawer or shelf for the new tchotchke, they have to get rid of something else. Old yom tov booklets disappear by the time the next one approaches. I am in charge of putting away really important documents such as certificates, booklets of mitzvah notes, the official class pictures, etc. So far a document box per child has been enough for that purpose.

I hear you about the dried-up-glue thing. My kids also have the wackiest odds and ends lying around that they refuse to part with. As long as it's confined to their designated space, I don't care what's in there.

The older ones have a large drawer plus a shelf for larger items. The little ones have a plastic drawer each, with not complaints so far.

I think your own ambivalence about what's reasonable comes through to them. If you would be sure that that's enough space and stuff cannot exceed those boundaries, they might fall in line more easily.

Good luck!
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 12:34 pm
saw50st8 wrote:
Give them each a box/bin. They can fill it up until it's full and then they have to decide.

.


This. It works for adults, too. My friend calls it the "real estate method of household organization". I call it the "basic physics" method (two solid objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time). My sister calls it the "gas law" method (stuff expands to fill the space allotted).

Whatever you call it, the trick is to allow a defined space for each category of stuff you want to have, and no more. Once that space is full, any new addition will require getting rid of something old. No exceptions. This is an excellent exercise in self-discipline, priority-setting, and decision-making, not to mention really good packing. The earlier you start your kids doing this, the better they will be able to cope with such decisions when they are grown. Because there are ALWAYS such decisions to be made.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 1:08 pm
I have rules too but still struggle with the constant need to reevaluate the spaces allotted for treasures and make the time to prod the kids to purge yet again.

Currently we're working with this combination.

Photo Albums: Pictures are taken of the child holding their masterpiece (all family pictures are printed easily from cell phone via the snapfish ap when the penny promotion is available that month) and placed in the picture album within the family bookcase.

Loosleaf binder: Any standard page crafts and coloring pages are hole punched and placed in their crafts binder, which is kept in the children's bookcase. When the binder is full, nothing can be added until some have been thrown out. The kids need to weigh which ones to throw out in order to put in the new ones. Photographs are sometimes taken as per the above before they are thrown out.

Refrigerator: One thing per child hung up at s time. Take down yours before putting up a new one. The one that gets taken down ends up the looseleaf binder and/or a pic of the child holding the paper is taken as above.

Prize drawer: When the binder is full, nothing can be added until some have been thrown out. This is the most difficult as often they prefer to stuff rather than throw out and I need to take the time to deal with the stressful task of prodding them to purge (deciding what to throw out from their coloring binder is a much simpler task for them). Sometimes they find they are less anxious when they can give away their prizes instead of throwing them out. I really dislike this whole process and might procrastinate which is why it can sometimes build up.
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challahchallah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 1:15 pm
Can you recruit (teenage/adult) relatives that live somewhat far away? I have many times been the recipient of a full package of various family members' treasures / art projects to help in just this effort. Sometimes kids are more able to part with things if their mailing it as a present rather than tossing.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 1:28 pm
Thanks for all the ideas.

I was tidying up and I found something on the table that reminded me to share this: yesterday I was trying to print something and the signal went wrong so the printer spit out several pages of gibberish. I KID YOU NOT, my lovely crazy trash collector kids were FIGHTING over each of those pages because they're going to "use" them for "something" "important." Dont know Help Hypnotized Yawn I also can't throw away the napkins from Shabbos because they got wet and we didn't clear the table right away so they dried into interesting shapes so now they're Special.

The problem is that while I have achieved more normal habits for myself by now, I was quite similar to this as a child so I feel like I can't fight this. I know what it's like. I know how important garbage can be. I appreciate the inspired creativity of a child who looks at a page of wingdings and says "I can make something out of this." The issue is that we live in the kind of excessive, disposable world that churns out zillions of pages of wingdings or their recyclable equivalents. When I was a kid once in a while I'd make something out of a box. I got new shoes maybe twice a year and would add the boxes to my cardboard dollhouse. These days I get a cardboard box from Amazon almost every other day. And they seem to have improved the quality (and probably also the quantity) of oriental trading prizes too - I looked at my kids' drawers just now to assess the situation and was surprised to see how much of it was actual little toysies. Not as much trash as I thought.

The idea of giving things to other people is a good one indeed. Sometimes they have a hard time even with that but every drop helps, right?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2017, 2:02 pm
My kids each get one large box (those big plastic bins that I use to store old/seasonal clothes). You can fit quite a lot there. I throw out the regular coloring sheets they bring home everyday. I don't really hang anything up. My daughter loves to keep every small thing because it can potentially be used as something for her dolls. She is very creative and really uses everything she saves, and I like to encourage creativity, but I draw the line somewhere. She has 3 small canvas bins/drawers to keep her doll stuff so if it has a place to go I'm ok with it. Recently she told me she wants to save all her old toothbrushes. I let her know that is not happening.
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