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amother




White


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 10:35 pm
There have been a few threads recently about monthly expenses and I am curious how many of you pay maaser in addition to your children's tuition? I know that's ideal but realistically most frum families, even at high incomes, don't have much extra money. Do people who are in debt pay maaser? Do people who are supported pay maaser? It doesn't seem to make sense that they would...
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amother




Ruby


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:10 pm
I do give maaser to the mosdos or to family. My rav said I can not give maaser to a place that I will have hanaah/ benefit from it. I believe you can pay tuition with maaser but you should ask.
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amother




Ruby


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:10 pm
I also had extra hatzlacha when I give maaser right away.
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amother




Emerald


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:37 pm
We don't give Maaser. We do give tzedekah but my husband says it's not halakha to give 10% and it would not be financially responsible since we are still saving for a home. I'm not thrilled about the situation but don't feel like putting my foot down on this one.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:41 pm
We don't count actual tuition as maaser because it is 'required'.
We will count building fund and dinner contributions that are optional as ma'aser and tax deductible.

I once heard that boys tuition cannot be ma'aser because a father is required to pay. But a girl it can be ma'aser becuase its extra. Personally we don't do that.

We give ma'aser on post tax money - without the other deductions. DH keeps pretty accurate records of what money goes out.

B'H on 150,000 (gross) income we give over 10K ma'aser per year. Its a lot of money for us.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:43 pm
What you can use maasar for and what you can't is a question for a Rav. Our Rav holds that tuition can be paid from maasar, but only from a certain age (I believe 6).

We are struggling financially and are in debt. There was a time when I wasn't paying maasar but writing it down. Recently, I started taking maasar off right away and I feel we are actually doing better financially. Bli ayin hara.
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amother




Ruby


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:47 pm
amother wrote:
We don't count actual tuition as maaser because it is 'required'.
We will count building fund and dinner contributions that are optional as ma'aser and tax deductible.

I once heard that boys tuition cannot be ma'aser because a father is required to pay. But a girl it can be ma'aser becuase its extra. Personally we don't do that.

We give ma'aser on post tax money - without the other deductions. DH keeps pretty accurate records of what money goes out.

B'H on 150,000 (gross) income we give over 10K ma'aser per year. Its a lot of money for us.

That's an interesting one.never thought of it that a boy is a father's job! Wow amazing!
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amother




Wheat


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:53 pm
amother wrote:
That's an interesting one.never thought of it that a boy is a father's job! Wow amazing!


I meant that a father (and mother) are obligated to educate his son and teach him Torah. There is no obligation to teach a girl torah.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Wed, May 03 2017, 11:59 pm
amother wrote:
I meant that a father (and mother) are obligated to educate his son and teach him Torah. There is no obligation to teach a girl torah.


I think all of us who send our girls to Jewish school do subscribe to the notion that today there is an obligation to teach a Jewish girl Torah
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amother




White


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 8:55 am
My husband has a rav and has asked him (at least awhile ago when things were tighter). But a lot of it is up to us - the basic answer is that we give if we feel we can. I always have extra maaser when I was single. I have a more generous personality. My husband is very uptight about money and from the beginning found maaser to be too much to give. There were times when we were giving but now there are always expenses and it's hard to figure out what we "feel" we can. He is more than comfortable with what we are doing now (which is basically tuition) but I never know ... we weren't paying full tuition until a few years ago so obviously before then it wasn't even a question. But now I always wonder at what point is something so much of a luxury that I should instead give it away? Our rav said you can still spend money enjoying things before giving maaser... so that's why I was just interested in hearing what others do.
And we still owe people money for our house so really how can we give tzedaka before we pay that off.. but it's understood to our parents that we aren't paying off too soon. It gets complicated...
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 9:03 am
Our minhag is that maaser is a neder NOT to take. If you give, you say bli neder. If you need social money etc, you don't give maasser.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 10:52 am
As soon as we deposit our paychecks, we take off 10% for maaser and transfer it to another (linked) account.

If we find out at the end of the month, we cannot pay all our bills, then we take money back from that account.

We were told to always set aside the money for maaser initially. If we need it at the end of the day, then we use it for ourselves. But at least we had the intention of giving it to others.
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STMommy




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 12:05 pm
Quote:
As soon as we deposit our paychecks, we take off 10% for maaser and transfer it to another (linked) account.


We also transfer funds into a separate maaser money checking account right away. However, we asked our Rav a shaila, and he paskened for us, that half of maaser can go towards tuition, and this is what we follow.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 3:06 pm
we don't count tuition towards our maaser money. My dh keeps close calculations and transfers it in to another account. Yes it ends up to a lot of money. We don't live "large" and b"H my husband is generous. B"H we aren't on any programs, don't have any debt besides for car, mortgage and student.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Thu, May 04 2017, 4:41 pm
Last year I finally did the thing where you have 10% of your paycheck go automatically to a separate checking account for tzedoko. To my horror, I found at the end of the year that we gave much, much less than in previous years when I just randomly gave whatever I felt like giving at the time, and it wasn't anywhere near 10% of our total income, even with some online giving. So this year I transfer extra from regular checking to the tzedoko checking every so often.
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