Summer Advice Needed

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 6:34 am

What do you do when one child refuses to go to camp?

For various reasons we have decided to stay in the city this summer and our children will be attending a local camp. One child refuses to go claiming that all of his friends are going to the country.

I understand that he prefers to be with his friends, but what can I do??? There's nothing for him to do at home all summer...

ra_mom

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 7:06 am

Will his friends that go to the country be joining a day camp program within an overnight camp? Is there a possibly for him to go to that camp so he's with his friends?

SixOfWands

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 7:14 am

amother wrote:

If you're not working outside the home, let him stay home. He run errands with you, no more screen time than normal. Let him be bored. He'll probably give in and want to go to camp after a week.

amother

White

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 8:20 am

amother wrote:

Will you be working?
How old is the child?

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 9:38 am

ra_mom wrote:

Will his friends that go to the country be joining a day camp program within an overnight camp? Is there a possibly for him to go to that camp so he's with his friends?

Some friends will be spending time with their family and will not be attending camp. Others might attend a day camp program but it's too far for DS to join.

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 9:39 am

Six of wands and amother: DS is 10. I may or may not be working through the summer (don't know yet) but I'm on bedrest so won't be able to take him anywhere.

He might give in once he sees he's bored but there is no way the local day camp will have space for him at that point.

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 9:59 am

Perhaps you can convince him that he will make new friends at camp. Is it possible to get the group list in advance so he can meet some of the other kids?

Are special-interest camps available? Maybe he would agree to a week of science camp or a sports clinic (for example) even if he doesn't know the other participants ahead of time.

amother

Oak

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 1:12 pm

Tell him he can go to camp or stay home and work (mow the lawn, wash windows, do laundry, make lunches, etc - and you can pay him something too. this might even be helpful if you're on bedrest). I hated day camp, and this is what my parents did for me around age 11. This way, he's busy either way.

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 1:30 pm

Thanks amother, Oak. I like the idea but can't see it working in this case as staying home and helping out is really not his idea of vacation. I also can't think of very many things that I could give him to do.

amother

Oak

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 1:47 pm

That was the point Smile

One year I hated the idea and went to camp - that's why my mother did it, she said I can't stay home and do nothing, either I can work or go to camp. Another year I was mother's helper.

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 2:02 pm

amother wrote:

That was the point Smile

One year I hated the idea and went to camp - that's why my mother did it, she said I can't stay home and do nothing, either I can work or go to camp. Another year I was mother's helper.

I understand. But whatever I give him to do will only take up a fraction of the day. I guess that's meant to make him decide to go to camp... I just hope he comes around before the camps close registration.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 2:19 pm

he's ten. if you can't entertain him in some other way, sign him up for camp. when he complains, tell him that much as you sympathize with his views on the matter, he is too young to decide his own schedule to the degree that he wants to. camp has fun stuff scheduled, and if he puts his mind to it, he'll meet new friends and enjoy himself. if he chooses to be miserable in camp, that's his choice.

-signed, the woman who disliked day camp but put up with it well enough, and keeps her kids home for summer but allows them the choice to go to camp. if I couldn't do that, the above is exactly what I would tell them.

supermamma

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 7:35 pm

In my opinion being bored leads to no good. Unless he's the type of kid that's happy reading all day & is content being alone , I would give him the options of a few day camps & tell him to pick one by whatever day or you will pick one for him. At this pre teen age it is more like him giving out his anger & being unreasonable for not being able to go to the country. Hear him out let him voice his frustration validate him but be clear that your opinion is that boredom leads to no good especially if u are on bedrest & cant properly see to everything & therefore a daycamp must be chosen. As he is upset I would offer to even send him to a better daycamp or night activity in addition or anything a special trip with your husband to show you care about his feelings despite not being able to do things how he would prefer.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 3:09 am

cm wrote:

I've tried, didn't work. There are no special interest day programs in my area.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 3:18 am

Firstly, thanks everyone for your input!

mummiedearest, I agree with you, but the problem is that he keeps telling me that if I sign up it'll be a waste of money as he just won't go. I don't want this to be a power struggle every day. Last he's agreed to stay home and do nothing, if that's the only alternative to camp. He's more of an introverted type of kid that doesn't enjoy the ra-ra of camp, especially if he's surrounded by kids he doesn't know. Were you miserable all summer?

Supermamma, there is a specific trip that he's been dreaming of so I asked him if he would agree to go to camp if he knew he'd also get to go on that trip. He's thinking about it...

I hope he'll come 'round really soon as there's not much time left for registration.

cbg

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 6:26 am

Is it possible for him to go 3 days a week?
Yes I know you have to pay full tuition, but it's a way to compromise.
Or
Tell him if he stays home he needs to make up a daily schedule and you will have to approve, and he has to commit to it.
Or
I know people don't like to hear this, but bribe him with special activities, treats just for him