Someone thought I was pregnant!!!!:(

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:12 pm

I was outside in the heat today and someone made a comment how impressed she was. I was like ur also in the heat and she went on how "it's harder for u bc ur pregnant". I'm not - I have a 6 month old and have been on weight watchers. I even lost 10 pounds and I know I have a way to go but I thought I looked ok. It was mortifying and this ruined my day. What is wrong with ppl!!???? And do I really look so pregnant?????

amother

Lavender

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:23 pm

that's really weird that she thought you are pregnant if you have a 6 month old!! You probably look fine! She must not be too fine if she can assume that a mother with a small baby is pregnant.People really have to think before they speak! I would also feel uncomfortable it someone said that to me!

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:29 pm

amother wrote:

My baby wasn't with me at the time. I responded I just had a baby actually (even tho she's 6 months) and she said mazel tov and that she's still impressed since I had a baby recently.
I'm mortified. And now I'm wondering if everyone I meet thinks I'm pregnant. I feel bad about my body as it is and this just made me feel so embarrassed.

cnc

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:32 pm

amother wrote:

Don't feel bad about your body, she probably (does and should) feel bad about her mouth. My rule of thumbs is I never mention anything about someone's pregnancy unless they bring it up first.

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:37 pm

cnc wrote:

Don't feel bad about your body, she probably (does and should) feel bad about her mouth. My rule of thumbs is I never mention anything about someone's pregnancy unless they bring it up first.

HOw could I not feel bad? And now I'm wondering if other ppl think I'm pregnant but just don't say anything bc ur not supposed to?? Why did she have to do that? She didn't even seem embarrassed after she asked if I was nursing - like it's her business like that would explain why I look pregnant or something

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:45 pm

amother wrote:

She probably knew you were pregnant, and forgot that you would have already had the baby. Clueless, but not a comment on your body. I'm sure you look gorgeous. And kol hakavod on your impressive weight loss.

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:49 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

There's no way she could have known. I had never met her before!!! I walking into an event at my kids camp and she commented but I had never met or seen her before. So while appreciate ur comment it doesn't help Sad

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 12:55 pm

some people when they have extra lbs it sticks to their middle making them look pregnant. also, PP many people still look pregnant.
this woman has a loose tongue and it was really not a nice thing to say but you're working on it so pat yourself on the back. I agree it's hurtful though.

WastingTime

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 1:32 pm

Oy I can't see why that made you feel bad! I guess you can give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't trying to be insensitive, she was just dumb. Its proper etiquette to NEVER mention anything about a woman being pregnant- unless its someone you know well and its really obvious- not someone that has a little stomach which could be from past pregnancies, too much ice cream, or just the way their body is!
Try not to let it bring you down on how you feel about yourself, a common mantra I use, that works in many occasions is "its not me, its them!"

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 1:51 pm

WastingTime wrote:

I know and I know she was just being stupid and probably felt dumb after (she should have anyway) but I still feel bad bc I guess that means I look pregnant/ and now I'm worried other ppl who know better than to say anything think I'm pregnant as well

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 1:55 pm

this happens to me all the time. it so annoying, im sorry you had to go throigh tghis, especially if you try to loose weight now anyway.

when im pregnant people keep on commenting that I look great, but if im NOT pregnant people keep on congratulating me b'shaa tova. especially last autumn after a miscarriag this was painful.

please ignore these comments. obviously most women dont understand thatb their comments can be painful. I doubt that most of them mean it in an insulting way. they simply have a loose tongue. please dont let THEIR mistake affect the way you feel about yourself.

hugs

amother

Violet

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 1:57 pm

You really have to not dwell on what other people say and think. Who cares. You sound like you don't have any self esteem or confidence. At six months post partum I also looked pregnant. It takes people time to get back to their own bodies

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 2:18 pm

I can relate in the opposite way, I lost a lot of weight, then got pregnant. So even now that I'm for sure showing--I'm almost 3rd trimester, a lot of people have been "not saying anything" b/c they were confused by my sudden weight gain.

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

But they shouldn't say anything. I never say anything bc u just don't know.
I would think everyone would know to never say anything!!
I do have problems with the way I look, after five kids I do feel like I look pregant but to have that feeling validated by a stranger really hurt.

Ruchel

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 2:42 pm

I once lost 10 kilos, waiters in restaurants even coming to me to tell me wow - and this one "friend" who assumed I was pregnant (I was TTC for years). In public. Which made some dumb girls laugh when I said no. I downgraded her to some passing acquaintance and still have bad feelings. I dunno why people do that. Years later, I learned she humiliated her OWN relative in a similar way at a simcha.

lucky14

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 2:43 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly!

the truth is maybe it was the way you were standing that made your stomach stick out a bit more? Maybe it was the outfit you were wearing (maybe the style itself was seen as a maternity style outfit, maybe the way it falls on you), and maybe the reality is you still have a little "extra" in the tummy area.

If I've eaten a bit extra that day, or am wearing certain style clothing, if I don't suck my tummy in I look a little pregnant too- and my child is over a year old!

Look around and you'll see that in reality there are plenty of people who look like they MAY be a little pregnant cuz that pooch just doesn't fully go away so quickly (or ever). And there are some people who have had that extra stomach weight even before having kids- it's just the way the weight is distributed on their body.

Gotta do what I do and just try not to care.

And yes: she said something no one should ever say without KNOWING someone is pregnant!

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 3:23 pm

amother wrote:

Not nice to comment, but still this comment makes me think she confused you with a lady she knows is pregnant.

and even while being a sz 2 I look pregnant from one to the next. I remember when I was about 10 wks pg with my 2nd my aunt asked my mil when I'm due. my mil played it cool not wanting to reveal our secret but I was like what? I have that stomach from my previous pg. (I got pg when dd was 9 mo) plus I was literally at my skinniest then as I was still nursing and had a morning sickness= weight loss). and then I was like- why is it "ok" for a girl (not yet married) to have a stomach, but the minute your married it (") supposedly indicates your _ status?

anon cuz shared this story irl

Eta: I'm referring to comment in red

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 3:37 pm

amother wrote:

She definetly did not confuse me. We were walking into the same place and she was making conversation

amother

Red

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 5:50 pm

Don't know if this makes you feel any better but was underweight when people assumed that I was pregnant. Doesn't necessarily have to do with your weight- could have to do with your posture, muscle strength or outfit. It hurts especially when you WANT to be pregnant but aren't.

amother

Puce

Thu, Jul 20 2017, 7:42 pm

amother wrote:

Why do people have to comment and assume when there's so many public service annoIncrements all over the internet saying not to?! I just don't understand why this person had to say anything. It makes me think I must look very pregnant for her to be so confident in her assumption Sad

I was literally crying when I got to my car after