Masser 1.need a Rav to ask 2. has anyone tested HKBH w this?

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 9:37 am

I have 2 questions about masser

1. Can someone please recommend and expert and kind Rav who I can call up and explain our whole financial situation to and get a ruling about whether we should be giving masser or just tzedaka and all the halachos relating to how much to give and who to give it to

2. The Chafetz Chayim apparently said that unlike any other mitzvah, you are allowed to "test" Hashem with maaser as in basically say to Him that You promise to make people rich if they give maaser; I will give it and Trust You that all will be ok etc. Has anyone here done this and how did it go?

Thank you so much for your help.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 10:15 am

As a single mom who relies on tzedaka to provide for my family , and I receive tzedaka weekly, I have not tested hkbh per se.....but:
On occasion the tzedaka money is not enough for the week, and when that happens it is ALWAYS the case that I've forgotten to give maaser the week before.
Without fail.
I have a habit of taking maaser immediately upon receiving the tzedaka money, and still, there are times when I make a mental note to do it "Later", and later I tend to forget....
Btw, if you wish to give me your maaser I will humbly accept it. Yael can vouch for me. As can irl people who know me.
Please- If anyone wants to debate the notion of giving maaser from tzedaka money, please start a new thread. Thanks!

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 11:29 am

The year we were in kollel and I had low paying job, rav said we didnt have to give. I had a medical problem that year that I had to pay out of pocket the exact same amount of thr maaser we would have owed...so...we have been extra careful with maaser since then...and yes...I do tell my husband all the time, we are NOT PUSHING off giving maaser, even when money is very very tight...

amother

Seashell

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 11:41 am

amother wrote:

I agree, no Rav I think will put you in a situation that will stress you financially.. I have ALWAYS found that when we give at least 10% even if you are kind of broke, we get what we need and more!!!

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 2:58 pm

I have been working for close to 20 years and always gave maaser and always had plenty to meet my needs and some of my wants. Definitely have been "testing" Hashem and definitely it's been working out.

I told my husband about it when we got married and he was on board, we made a separate maaser account to transfer right away from our paychecks, and B"H everything was going well. We bought a house, pay full tuitions, summer camp, cars, vacation, everything.

At some point in the recent past my husband received an inheritance. I told him that the halacha is that he should give maaser. He was too stingy to give maaser and instead did other things with the money. Since that time our finances have been terrible. Never in my life has it been like this. We have been so strapped that I needed to liquidate savings and even went into credit card debt briefly ... I can barely buy Shabbos food, certainly not in the manner that I used to, or clothes for my kids ... it's been really nuts.

I can't do anything to change my husband's mind, and anyway the money is not available even if he did change his mind.

tichellady

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 3:14 pm

I'm finding this thread strange. I do believe in giving tzedekah. giving tzedekah because you believe it will help you financially seems strange to me and to be missing the point. I also think that this notion that people who don't give because $ is tight will be punished, is very off base. I don't believe that Gd is punishing people for being financially responsible and following halakhic advice.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 3:54 pm

tichellady wrote:

Maaser is not in the same category as traditional tzedaka. You can Google if you're interested in learning more.

giselle

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 3:54 pm

tichellady wrote:

I also don't understand how it makes sense to give tzedaka when you're taking tzedaka from others. As far as I understand, if you are in debt you are first supposed to pay that off.

tichellady

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 4:05 pm

amother wrote:

Maaser is not in the same category as traditional tzedaka. You can Google if you're interested in learning more.

I know that. Don't see why that makes a difference in terms of what I said. Maaser is actually a minhag according to most opinions.

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 4:19 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies.

The answers you have given is what I was expecting really. I believe that when it says maaser taaser it can be read as maaser taasher is giving masser will make you rich, you probably have to read that in the context of azerhu ashir? hasomeach bchelko.

Anyway I want to discuss it all with a Rabbi who I can he frank with because he doesn't know me personally, and I feel that he will give me the correct answer of-

How much to tithe
To whom it should be paid
How often
What to so about various forms of tzeddaka we receive
What to do about past earnings etc

Can someone please suggest someone to speak to?

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 5:46 pm

I'm struggling with Maaser, we don't make enough to pay minimum bills and have not been good about giving maser. Awhile ago, we decided to be more careful and it lasted ONE month! In hindsight, it was an easier month for us.I am bli neder going to start pulling maser first from now on as I want it to be priority.
I will make believe I got less, the only way I can manage it.
I plan on 'testing' Hashem.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 8:43 pm

many poskim hold that maaser comes after you pay your basic bills

some hold that it comes out to about 3-4% of take home pay because of said bills

others hold that chinuch/tuition can come from maaser.

I am very uncomfortable with the whole"testing" thing.

amother

Peach

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 9:39 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly.

Are you honestly telling me (not you but the general you) that the poster who said she takes tzedaka is paying full tuition? Shouldn't she be giving maaser to the school?

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 9:59 pm

I don't think it matters who I give the maaser to. The point of it is to ''just take 10% off of what I received''. I put the money aside. Try it. Not easy.
Whether I use the tithed money to pay tuition, help a neighbor, or any of a plethora of options, is irrelevant. The point of maaser is really not about where it's applied. It's about plucking off 10% and giving it to someone else.
It has ''worked its magic'' for me. Time and time again.

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 10:00 pm

Mauve I have had your view until now. But now, for me, it feels like a chiaaron in emunah. That's why I want to speak to a RESPECTABLE Rav who is an EXPERT in this area.

Please can someone suggest somebody?

cozyblanket

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 10:07 pm

The maaser book (I forgot who wrote it) seems to say that it isn't so simple to use maaser for tuition. You can give extra to the school, of course.

About whom to ask, does your DH have a Rav/Rosh Yeshivah/anything?? It should be someone who knows you.

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 11:49 pm

amother wrote:

Is your father a talmid chochom? can you ask him? My father is a talmid chochom and I asked him about it.

I'm BT. My DH doesn't really have a Rav. I don't want to ask someone who knows me personally

amother

Gray

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 12:02 am

To op, what does it mean that hashem will make rich those who give maaeser??? Before tuition, I calculated measer. Even when I was single and babysat, I gave maeser, but I didn't become rich, I was very poor when I was single and couldn't afford clothes in high school but I always gave masser.

I will still give maaser and ill try to train my children to give but do you think that all rich people have given masser so they are rich and those struggling to make ends meet are struggling bc they don't give maaser regularly??