Most people get tuition scholarships

amother

Red

Sat, Aug 26 2017, 10:26 pm

All this talk recently of how getting a scholarship is taking tzedaka and you cant get a manicure on scholarship is interesting to me. I work in a tri state area right wing school. Full tuition is 12k. 75 percent our students are on scholarship. A scholarship can be anywhere from 1000 off to practically free tuition.

Another point people keep making is that their full tuition is paying my kids scholarship. That is completely not true. The school I work for even sends out a mathematical equation explaining their tuition. If everyone paid in full they just wouldnt have to fundraise.

amother

Pewter

Sat, Aug 26 2017, 10:30 pm

amother wrote:

Another point people keep making is that their full tuition is paying my kids scholarship. That is completely not true. The school I work for even sends out a mathematical equation explaining their tuition. If everyone paid in full they just wouldnt have to fundraise.

What's true for your school isn't necessarily true elsewhere. It's wonderful that the school is transparent with parents about the budget.

notshanarishona

Sat, Aug 26 2017, 11:34 pm

It is true that most people are on some sort of scholarship. Regardless of one or both parents working, most people can not afford 10000+ per kid per year . I don't think people should feel guilty as long as they r being honest and paying a reasonable amount

LittleDucky

Sun, Aug 27 2017, 11:39 am

Every school is different. Many schools are not transparent.
Schools don't open their books usually... Unfortunately. Just because in your school tuition doesn't pay for scholarship kids that doesn't mean it is true for other schools.

Manicures are a luxury expense. There is no medical (or any other) NEED for such an expense and IMO anyone on financial aid should not get one (unless gifted etc) and that money should go to the school. Do your own nails if it is that important to you. I can't afford to get manicures and pay full tuition. Just like they ask about cars you own- if you are driving a late model Lexus or BMW then that must be taken into account.

LittleDucky

Sun, Aug 27 2017, 11:42 am

notshanarishona wrote:

What is a reasonable amount? Who decides that? I totally agree that full honesty is important.

amother

Mint

Sun, Aug 27 2017, 12:11 pm

LittleDucky wrote:

We've had this debate before. I don't think that someone who's getting assistance should never get a manicure. Just like someone who's getting assistance shouldn't subscribe to a Jewish weekly. Or should only eat legumes for protein. There has to be some breathing room.

We got tuition assistance over the years. I also did some volunteer work for the school. Ultimately they made it a paying job. When the principal asked me if the terms were good I almost couldn't speak because I was so choked up. I realized that if this is what the school valued this service at, in effect I'd paid off a good chunk of all those years of assistance.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Aug 27 2017, 12:14 pm

amother wrote:

I have tried explaining many times on this site that in typical yeshivas/bais yaakovs in the tristate area most people get a tuition break and that the asking price is just considered a starting point. Many people with excellent salaries get a break and it is not considered tzedaka.

I got a lot of mocking and scathing replies. I guess people don't believe if they don't want to believe.

giselle

Sun, Aug 27 2017, 12:15 pm

Self care is important and a manicure here and there is not a huge luxury. Even a one night getaway to an inexpensive hotel... a massage once in awhile..
Nice cars, nice vacations - those are luxuries. Weekly manicures, monthly massages, 100s of dollars on shabbos food and clothes, daily Starbucks - those are luxuries. And it's unfair that I don't spend my money on most of those because a large part is going to my children's full tuition while others are somehow affording all this while on scholarship. And please don't give maaser while not paying full tuition (another previously oft discussed topic).

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:06 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

So how does it work?
I have a scholarship application and they are asking how much I am willing to pay. This is for preschool in brooklyn.
What would I put down?..what are people in brooklyn ACTUALLY paying?

amother

Red

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:12 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

So how does it work?
I have a scholarship application and they are asking how much I am willing to pay. This is for preschool in brooklyn.
What would I put down?

Put down what you think is a reasonable amount. There are no rules. Assuming preschool costs 10k and it only goes up from there..If you are making 150k and have 7 kids I imagine you are not expected to pay full for all them. If you make 150k and have two kids that is a whole different story...

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:13 pm

I'm not sure I understand the logic. If the additional money to cover cost comes from fundraising, then somehow it's not tzedakah? All tzedakahs fundraise, as far as I know. If the $100,000 donation is tzedakah money when Mr. Big Macher is giving it to the school, then it's still tzedakah when it covers the remaining 50% of someone's tuition.

Whether or not full-tuition-paying parents are subsidizing non-payers or reduced payers varies among schools.

Edit: I think that non-tzedakah tuition discounts can exist. For example, recruiting discounts ($1,000 off for new students), sibling discounts, or discounts as part of a compensation package for staff. But a discount that is granted based on financial need or inability to pay, is tzedakah.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:16 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Its my first child so I don't know what reasonable is.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:24 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

People who can afford the full amount are paying the full amount. Others pay on a sliding scale according to their means. The schools don't want you to send to public school because you can't afford to pay full tuition for your children. They also don't want you to withhold tuition because other people aren't paying the full amount. If your situation changes you can always renegotiate from one year to the next. It's not like you're signing a ten year contract.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:27 pm

giselle wrote:

Very curious: What is your reasoning for this?

If tuition is tzedakah, and maaser is tzedakah, why is it so bad if Poor Guy's tzedakah goes to Bikur Cholim or Hatzalah while Rich Guy's tzedakah goes to the school? Is the prestige of being a donor so terrible? (If Poor Guy's $5,000 annual maaser is enough to get prestige...)

I mean, I understand why Poor Guy who is on scholarship shouldn't get the Pesach Hotel Package under most circumstances, but what is wrong with him giving TZEDAKAH?

Add to that the fact that there are sources saying that Hashem will repay your tzedakah (hopefully enabling givers to eventually get off scholarship altogether) - wouldn't that be a very good investment? Do you also think that they shouldn't have life insurance, which is also a method of hopefully avoiding becoming tzedakah recipients in case of tragedy R"L?

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:31 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Since when is tuition tzedaka?? You need to ask a rav about maaser and tuition. Many rabanim say masaser can be used towards certain tuition.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:37 pm

Sorry for not being clear. The complaint was that the school will need to fundraise to make up for tuition scholarships, which would be collecting tzedakah, so therefore parents who are on scholarship should not be giving maaser, they should paying more tuition.

I was arguing against that.

causemommysaid

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:46 pm

I don't ascribe to the whole you gotta live like a pauper because of tuition. If both parents work full time and have an average size family they are paying 50 to 70 K in tuition a year plus camp and gap care to cover work hours. No middle class family can afford that and jewish day school is not a negotiable expense. Enjoy your budget vacation, cleaning help, get ur nails done, and go out to dinner once in awhile. That's not taking advantage.

Once you start paying for pesach hotels, full time housekeepers, and building a McMansion then we can discuss if you really deserve a tuition break.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:48 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

I am considered thrifty because I have a fear of debt, so I can save.
I drive a really old car.
My food bill is super low I buy in bulk on sale etc
Plus dh is in a heavy graduate school program so we rely only on my income.

When you calculate health expenses, rent, car, how much should be left for clothing? Food? Household expenses? Savings for a rainy day?