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Most people get tuition scholarships
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:50 pm
causemommysaid wrote:
I don't ascribe to the whole you gotta live like a pauper because of tuition.

I don't feel that way either, but then I don't expect any tzedakah recipients to live like paupers. I hope most of us don't.
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amother
Red


 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:50 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
Since when is tuition tzedaka?? You need to ask a rav about maaser and tuition. Many rabanim say masaser can be used towards certain tuition.


It is not so simple to use tuition as maaser. The same way you have to feed your kid, and you can't use maaser for that you have an obligation to teach your children and you can't just say tuition is maaser. There are certain instances where you can use maaser money for tuition but details matter, boys girls preschool elementary etc. Like many threads on here the answer really is LOR

Also people tend to get very heated on tuition threads but keep in mind it can really be apples and oranges. My coworker who lives in BP told me her tuition bill for her second grader was 4000 full and she asked for a break and they sliced the bill in half. In the five towns full tuition for my second grader is 17k. No I am not paying that my scholarship is still well over the cost of her son if she were paying full.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:50 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
If you can afford it, you have no right asking for a scholarship. If you can't afford it, put down what you can afford.

I am not in Brooklyn, but I am in the New York area. I don't know what current rates are for Brooklyn.


The question is what does affording it mean.
How large of a budget should it be?
Let's say I'm making 50k, is 10k reasonable? (Both numbers are changed for obvious reasons, but not by much)
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:52 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I don't feel that way either, but then I don't expect any tzedakah recipients to live like paupers. I hope most of us don't.


Judging poor people is very in vougue. Almost everyone is guilty of it.
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amother
Red


 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 10:54 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
The question is what does affording it mean.
How large of a budget should it be?
Let's say I'm making 50k, is 10k reasonable? (Both numbers are changed for obvious reasons, but not by much)


If your gross income is 50k and dh is not working how on earth will you be paying rent and insurance and food if you are giving 10k after tax income to tuition? For preschool I would say you should be paying 6k tops if your combined gross income is 50k.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2021, 11:29 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
The question is what does affording it mean.
How large of a budget should it be?
Let's say I'm making 50k, is 10k reasonable? (Both numbers are changed for obvious reasons, but not by much)


At $50,000 gross, your take home pay in NYC is about $3000 a month, just north of $36,000 a year. Maybe more if you live elsewhere.

You can't pay $10,000 tuition on that income. It would leave you $26,000 a year, call it $2200 a month, to live. Food, rent, insurance, clothing, emergencies.

Do your budget. Take home pay. Take off rent and insurance, things you can't change. How much is left. What's your food bill, phone, transportation. Can you cut that at all? What's left is what you can theoretically pay.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 12:39 am
SixOfWands wrote:
At $50,000 gross, your take home pay in NYC is about $3000 a month, just north of $36,000 a year.

Someone with that low of an income, with kids, might be paying less taxes than you think.

When we had about $50K income with 6 kids, self-employed and not paying any taxes during the year, we still got a tax refund. Plus we had Medicaid and food stamps. Tuition was still unattainable, but we did have more take-home pay than you are calculating.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 12:55 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Many people with excellent salaries get a break and it is not considered tzedaka.


Not considered tzedaka by whom? The school or the recipient? If the school needs outside donors to make up the shortfall, then of course it's tzedaka.

Asking recipients of tuition breaks to live like paupers is unfair. Having community norms where the standard of living is suitable only for multimillionaires is also wrong.

I commend op's school for being open with parents about expenses. It's important for people to realize that educating children is expensive, and if you don't live in Israel, you are going to pay a high cost. (As I understand, costs in Europe vary but are lower than in North America.)
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 8:10 am
Did I say this 3 years ago? I'm not going back to check. We got tuition assistance. My kids are out of school. I still donate a lot of time to the school.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 8:23 am
amother [ Red ] wrote:
It is not so simple to use tuition as maaser. The same way you have to feed your kid, and you can't use maaser for that you have an obligation to teach your children and you can't just say tuition is maaser. There are certain instances where you can use maaser money for tuition but details matter, boys girls preschool elementary etc. Like many threads on here the answer really is LOR

Also people tend to get very heated on tuition threads but keep in mind it can really be apples and oranges. My coworker who lives in BP told me her tuition bill for her second grader was 4000 full and she asked for a break and they sliced the bill in half. In the five towns full tuition for my second grader is 17k. No I am not paying that my scholarship is still well over the cost of her son if she were paying full.


Of course. That's why I said you need to speak to a rav. Its not ao simple
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amother
Purple


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 8:28 am
LittleDucky wrote:
Every school is different. Many schools are not transparent.
Schools don't open their books usually... Unfortunately. Just because in your school tuition doesn't pay for scholarship kids that doesn't mean it is true for other schools.


Manicures are a luxury expense. There is no medical (or any other) NEED for such an expense and IMO anyone on financial aid should not get one (unless gifted etc) and that money should go to the school. Do your own nails if it is that important to you. I can't afford to get manicures and pay full tuition. Just like they ask about cars you own- if you are driving a late model Lexus or BMW then that must be taken into account.


Don't buy ice cream for your children either. Or toys. They are luxuries.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 11:45 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
Don't buy ice cream for your children either. Or toys. They are luxuries.

Please don't compare manicures to BMW's. There is a slight difference between a $12 manicure before YT or weddings to a $37,992 2019 Lexus.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 11:47 am
notshanarishona wrote:
A reasonable amount depends on your income. I don't think tuition should ever be more than 30-40 percent of income

Does it matter effort. Like a working mother pays 30% of salary. But SAHM doesn’t have to.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 12:35 pm
I have a great idea đź’ˇ!!
Each couple should do what they think is right in their situation. They should ask their LOR and discuss with the tuition committee as necessary.
All of the rest of us can do a big mitzva by not judging others, just as we wouldn’t want people to judge our personal decisions.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 12:36 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
I have a great idea đź’ˇ!!
Each couple should do what they think is right in their situation. They should ask their LOR and discuss with the tuition committee as necessary.
All of the rest of us can do a big mitzva by not judging others, just as we wouldn’t want people to judge our personal decisions.

You are so smart!! Common sense like yours is unfortunately not too common. The only problem with this is that if everyone stops judging other people and commenting on their hashkafos and lifestyle choices, Imamother will probably cease to exist from lack of anything to talk about.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 1:02 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Not considered tzedaka by whom? The school or the recipient? If the school needs outside donors to make up the shortfall, then of course it's tzedaka.



I'd flip that.

The cost of running the school is $15 million a year.

The school is able to receive $5 million in donations, leaving $10 million to be paid by the 1000 students. Tuition for each student is $10,000.

But 50% of the students get financial aid. Let's make it clean and say 50% pay zero. Now each student who pays has a tuition of $20,000.

OF COURSE the paying parents are subsidizing the ones receiving scholarships. OF COURSE its tzedaka.

And there's nothing wrong with that. If you believe -- as I do -- that a Jewish education is valuable, it is a good thing to give tzedaka for, and nothing wrong with receiving tzedaka for.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Feb 02 2021, 3:20 pm
If you can't afford preschool, preschool is not a necessity. That's what my school says. You can send your child to an in-home care, a local ganenet, some small playgroup, etc.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 1:14 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
If you can't afford preschool, preschool is not a necessity. That's what my school says. You can send your child to an in-home care, a local ganenet, some small playgroup, etc.


Not every school says that, though
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 1:16 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
If you can't afford preschool, preschool is not a necessity. That's what my school says. You can send your child to an in-home care, a local ganenet, some small playgroup, etc.


For people who work full-time, the in-home care places generally don't have sufficient hours.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 1:17 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
At $50,000 gross, your take home pay in NYC is about $3000 a month, just north of $36,000 a year. Maybe more if you live elsewhere.

You can't pay $10,000 tuition on that income. It would leave you $26,000 a year, call it $2200 a month, to live. Food, rent, insurance, clothing, emergencies.

Do your budget. Take home pay. Take off rent and insurance, things you can't change. How much is left. What's your food bill, phone, transportation. Can you cut that at all? What's left is what you can theoretically pay.


Then the million dollar question is what's a reasonable food budget for a family 4...
And clothing.. and emergencies..
Our car is old.
Health Insurance is non negotiable.

Let's say I feel like I can pay $3k less than the asking price to be able to breathe, do you feel thats reasonable?

(The school is asking how much we want to pay. That's why I'm asking. Its not like they said oh you want a discount, here's your discount...)
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