Most people get tuition scholarships

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Feb 04 2021, 10:24 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

If your gross income is 50k and dh is not working how on earth will you be paying rent and insurance and food if you are giving 10k after tax income to tuition? For preschool I would say you should be paying 6k tops if your combined gross income is 50k.

Thank you for your input

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Feb 05 2021, 7:22 am

Didn’t read the whole thread.
My son’s tuition is 25k. We were very honest with the tuition committee about how much we make, our mortgage, etc. Everything they asked. Our salaries combined are in the 150-175 range. They gave us a break of half the tuition. We certainly don’t live luxuriously, but BH I think we live nicely. Money is tight and expenses are high but I’m not complaining. I don’t feel that we are tzedaka recipients at all.

SixOfWands

Fri, Feb 05 2021, 7:33 am

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Then the million dollar question is what's a reasonable food budget for a family 4...
And clothing.. and emergencies..
Our car is old.
Health Insurance is non negotiable.

Let's say I feel like I can pay $3k less than the asking price to be able to breathe, do you feel thats reasonable?

(The school is asking how much we want to pay. That's why I'm asking. Its not like they said oh you want a discount, here's your discount...)

I have no idea. Food prices differ. People have different tastes and preferences.

I'm suggesting that you look at your own expenses, and use that as a starting point. You know that if you're eating steak or roast (not leftovers) 5 times a week, you could cut your food budget (and probably be healthier for it). And you know that it you're eating rice and beans 5 times a week, you're probably at the bare bones and could use more flexibility, not less. That your clothing expenses could be cut if you buy 8 new Shabbat outfits per person each season, and that you could use more in the budget if you're trying to convince your son that pants that hit 4 inches above the ankle is a new trend.

I really respect how seriously you're taking the question.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 12:53 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Well until now I was scrimping and saving like a crazy person so I can save every dollar.

My car is way over 10 year old, imagine I had a normal car with normal monthly car payments.

I barely buy meat, and if I do, it's ground meat.

Most of clothes is second hand.

All because I choose to live this way so I can save every extra dollar.

I also don't think the school is interested in taking all my money, so yes I am taking the question seriously- this is a school in brooklyn if anyone else wants to give their opinion....

I need to write down an amount.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 10:46 am

causemommysaid wrote:

I don't ascribe to the whole you gotta live like a pauper because of tuition. If both parents work full time and have an average size family they are paying 50 to 70 K in tuition a year plus camp and gap care to cover work hours. No middle class family can afford that and jewish day school is not a negotiable expense. Enjoy your budget vacation, cleaning help, get ur nails done, and go out to dinner once in awhile. That's not taking advantage.

Once you start paying for pesach hotels, full time housekeepers, and building a McMansion then we can discuss if you really deserve a tuition break.

Yes, if people work themselves into exhaustion and never allow themselves a break or a tiny treat in the name of paying tuition, eventually something will give and then they really will be a tzedakah case. Someone else will have to step in to pay for their mental health care, and to help them cook meals and take care of their children.

Let people live, let people breathe without judging them for it.

It's better for someone to take a mental health break than to let themselves collapse, which will end up costing society a lot more than their occasional restaurant meal or manicure.

I was very poor for many years despite being very hardworking. I went out with my husband to a restaurant once a year. Manicures aren't my thing. I never had cleaning help but that wasn't make it or break it for me. Once a year we'd rent a car and take the kids on a vacation trip to CT and stay overnight. If you can't fargin a poor person these tiny pleasures in life and want them to feel guilty over it you are directly contributing to any mental health problems that result.